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Hi all --

I've decided I don't want to hang around my Nada's house on Thanksgiving

Day, preferring instead to just remove myself entirely from the whole mess.

I'm wondering if anyone has any good suggestions for quiet and pleasant

places to pass the day on Thanksgiving? I was hoping to decamp to a hotel

for Wednesday and Thursday and just enjoy the quiet, but my budget won't

stretch, unfortunately, as I'm saving every dollar for the Freedom Leap

move coming in mid-December.

My usual " avoid Nada " places like the various local libraries won't be open

on Thanksgiving, and while I plan to take in a movie I don't plan to spend

the whole day at the theater (too expensive, for one.) I'm thinking

camping out in a commercial outlet like & Noble where I can run my

laptop and read might be good, but I don't want to wear out my welcome when

I don't actually buy anything. (Ditto for the local coffeehouses with

wireless.) I do have friends who might be willing to let me sit in, but

I'm actually just fine with being alone on Thanksgiving (blessed quiet!)

and I'd prefer not to impose. I just need a sort of hidey-hole for the day

and was wondering if anyone had any ideas?

If we lived in a warmer part of the country it would be great to spend the

day in a park or walking in the forest and meditating on the things I *do*

have to be thankful for, but it's likely to be too cold and possibly rainy

for that to be a guaranteed option.

So, ideas?

Thanks!

Jen H.

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I've had good experiences volunteering to help make Thanksgiving dinner and

Christmas dinner, and serving it at homeless shelters. It was so nice to chat

with fellow volunteers while we prepared and served the dinners, and did clean

up afterwards. I did this through the place I was working at the time; that

company has a large and active community service program.

So, perhaps check out local churches or homeless shelters in your area; they're

probably looking for volunteers for a Thanksgiving Day Dinner program. This

year I am going to join a friend and her family for TG day, but I would like to

volunteer again.

-Annie

>

> Hi all --

>

> I've decided I don't want to hang around my Nada's house on Thanksgiving

> Day, preferring instead to just remove myself entirely from the whole mess.

> I'm wondering if anyone has any good suggestions for quiet and pleasant

> places to pass the day on Thanksgiving? I was hoping to decamp to a hotel

> for Wednesday and Thursday and just enjoy the quiet, but my budget won't

> stretch, unfortunately, as I'm saving every dollar for the Freedom Leap

> move coming in mid-December.

>

> My usual " avoid Nada " places like the various local libraries won't be open

> on Thanksgiving, and while I plan to take in a movie I don't plan to spend

> the whole day at the theater (too expensive, for one.) I'm thinking

> camping out in a commercial outlet like & Noble where I can run my

> laptop and read might be good, but I don't want to wear out my welcome when

> I don't actually buy anything. (Ditto for the local coffeehouses with

> wireless.) I do have friends who might be willing to let me sit in, but

> I'm actually just fine with being alone on Thanksgiving (blessed quiet!)

> and I'd prefer not to impose. I just need a sort of hidey-hole for the day

> and was wondering if anyone had any ideas?

>

> If we lived in a warmer part of the country it would be great to spend the

> day in a park or walking in the forest and meditating on the things I *do*

> have to be thankful for, but it's likely to be too cold and possibly rainy

> for that to be a guaranteed option.

>

> So, ideas?

>

> Thanks!

> Jen H.

>

>

>

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I'm doing the same thing Jen- I could tag along on someone else's Thanksgiving

but would rather be alone. You could rent a movie, or read a book- I went to

Amazon's top books and picked out something I want to read for the portion of

the day that I'm not going to be working. I haven't given myself permission to

just read a fun, non-BPD, non-self-help book in so long, Thanksgiving Day when I

really shouldn't be working anyway feels like the perfect time to give myself

permission to do it.

I also highly recommend giving yourself a facial and a foot rub and take some

time to do some meditation, these are some of the things I never allow myself to

do for myself, you may not have any of these same hangups I do though of not

feeling worthy of your own time. I just think that self-care will be really

important on Thursday for all of us KOs so we don't wind up feeling depressed

about our (lack of) families.

I am also giving thought to visiting the (Buddhist) meditation center I like to

frequent, I bet they will be open. And that is the kind of place,if you have one

nearby, that will welcome you with open arms for as many hours as you want to

spend there!

>

> Hi all --

>

> I've decided I don't want to hang around my Nada's house on Thanksgiving

> Day, preferring instead to just remove myself entirely from the whole mess.

> I'm wondering if anyone has any good suggestions for quiet and pleasant

> places to pass the day on Thanksgiving? I was hoping to decamp to a hotel

> for Wednesday and Thursday and just enjoy the quiet, but my budget won't

> stretch, unfortunately, as I'm saving every dollar for the Freedom Leap

> move coming in mid-December.

>

> My usual " avoid Nada " places like the various local libraries won't be open

> on Thanksgiving, and while I plan to take in a movie I don't plan to spend

> the whole day at the theater (too expensive, for one.) I'm thinking

> camping out in a commercial outlet like & Noble where I can run my

> laptop and read might be good, but I don't want to wear out my welcome when

> I don't actually buy anything. (Ditto for the local coffeehouses with

> wireless.) I do have friends who might be willing to let me sit in, but

> I'm actually just fine with being alone on Thanksgiving (blessed quiet!)

> and I'd prefer not to impose. I just need a sort of hidey-hole for the day

> and was wondering if anyone had any ideas?

>

> If we lived in a warmer part of the country it would be great to spend the

> day in a park or walking in the forest and meditating on the things I *do*

> have to be thankful for, but it's likely to be too cold and possibly rainy

> for that to be a guaranteed option.

>

> So, ideas?

>

> Thanks!

> Jen H.

>

>

>

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Oh, I've tried to do that on Christmas before and learned a lesson that was

obvious only in retrospect: A lot of homeless shelters are OVERWHELMED

with volunteers on Holidays, because people who want to volunteer but don't

normally have time, have those days off! So in my local city in Michigan,

if you want to volunteer at a shelter on a holiday, you have to sign up in

advance -- which I didn't because I thought I'd be relaxing at a motel. I

could still drop by and see if they need a hand, of course, but I'll

probably get a heartbreaking variant of the line I've heard before, which

is, " We have more hands than we can use right now, but maybe you could come

back next week...? " ...because these places are usually understaffed during

" normal " days when regular folks have to work.

Also, most of the places around here close up shop by four or five p.m. on

Thanksgiving day so the staff can go home to their family dinners, so I

still have to figure out where to hang after the sun goes down, although

the coffeehouse will probably do until it's " safe " to sneak back to the

house (after Nada's in bed or at least not looking out the door.)

Thanks for the suggestion though!

-- Jen H.

On Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 1:05 PM, anuria67854 anuria-67854@...>wrote:

> **

>

>

> I've had good experiences volunteering to help make Thanksgiving dinner

> and Christmas dinner, and serving it at homeless shelters. It was so nice

> to chat with fellow volunteers while we prepared and served the dinners,

> and did clean up afterwards. I did this through the place I was working at

> the time; that company has a large and active community service program.

>

> So, perhaps check out local churches or homeless shelters in your area;

> they're probably looking for volunteers for a Thanksgiving Day Dinner

> program. This year I am going to join a friend and her family for TG day,

> but I would like to volunteer again.

>

> -Annie

>

>

>

> >

> > Hi all --

> >

> > I've decided I don't want to hang around my Nada's house on Thanksgiving

> > Day, preferring instead to just remove myself entirely from the whole

> mess.

> > I'm wondering if anyone has any good suggestions for quiet and pleasant

> > places to pass the day on Thanksgiving? I was hoping to decamp to a hotel

> > for Wednesday and Thursday and just enjoy the quiet, but my budget won't

> > stretch, unfortunately, as I'm saving every dollar for the Freedom Leap

> > move coming in mid-December.

> >

> > My usual " avoid Nada " places like the various local libraries won't be

> open

> > on Thanksgiving, and while I plan to take in a movie I don't plan to

> spend

> > the whole day at the theater (too expensive, for one.) I'm thinking

> > camping out in a commercial outlet like & Noble where I can run my

> > laptop and read might be good, but I don't want to wear out my welcome

> when

> > I don't actually buy anything. (Ditto for the local coffeehouses with

> > wireless.) I do have friends who might be willing to let me sit in, but

> > I'm actually just fine with being alone on Thanksgiving (blessed quiet!)

> > and I'd prefer not to impose. I just need a sort of hidey-hole for the

> day

> > and was wondering if anyone had any ideas?

> >

> > If we lived in a warmer part of the country it would be great to spend

> the

> > day in a park or walking in the forest and meditating on the things I

> *do*

> > have to be thankful for, but it's likely to be too cold and possibly

> rainy

> > for that to be a guaranteed option.

> >

> > So, ideas?

> >

> > Thanks!

> > Jen H.

> >

> >

> >

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> I'm doing the same thing Jen- I could tag along on someone else's

> Thanksgiving but would rather be alone. You could rent a movie, or read a

> book- I went to Amazon's top books and picked out something I want to read

> for the portion of the day that I'm not going to be working. I haven't

> given myself permission to just read a fun, non-BPD, non-self-help book in

> so long, Thanksgiving Day when I really shouldn't be working anyway feels

> like the perfect time to give myself permission to do it.

>

Yeah, I'm planning on reading -- (Jon Ronson's " The Men Who Stare At

Goats " , just for the wackiness) and I have a DVD borrowed from a friend I'm

going to watch on my laptop. I've got plenty to do and enjoy and be

thankful for, I just need to not be in Nada's house -- where I live for

just one short more month -- that day because either I will be subjected to

repeated attempts to get me to " participate " (we're NC, so I expect she'll

be banging on my locked door and either screaming or sobbing, or

alternating, or both at once) or at a minimum subjected to loud noises

from upstairs as Nada and my reluctantly-still-in-contact brother and his

family eat and proclaim loudly how much fun they're having (they're not,

but " keeping up appearances " is important to Nada, so they'll play along.)

I actively want to avoid the first option (screaming/sobbing) and the

second will interfere with my attempts to relax and unwind while reading or

watching a movie, so I need a different roof to be under for the day.

>

> I also highly recommend giving yourself a facial and a foot rub and take

> some time to do some meditation, these are some of the things I never allow

> myself to do for myself, you may not have any of these same hangups I do

> though of not feeling worthy of your own time. I just think that self-care

> will be really important on Thursday for all of us KOs so we don't wind up

> feeling depressed about our (lack of) families.

>

>

> I am also giving thought to visiting the (Buddhist) meditation center I

> like to frequent, I bet they will be open. And that is the kind of place,if

> you have one nearby, that will welcome you with open arms for as many hours

> as you want to spend there!

>

> I do attend a Buddhist meditation center for weekly practice, but it's

small (we're in the Midwest -- Buddhists tend to be regarded as a cult,

sigh) and it will probably not be open that day, although I will check on

it as I could be surprised by that. I very much enjoy meditating there,

it's a wonderfully peaceful place.

-- Jen H.

>

>

>

> in this

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> **This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new book The

> Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tips and

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>

> To unsub from this list, send a blank email to

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Hi again all --

Hm, turns out this is going to be more irritating than I thought; both my

local & Noble and Panera stores are going to be closed all day

Thanksgiving day. The new Tim Horton's was supposed to be open, but I just

called and they said they were closing at noon Thanksgiving and reopening

at 9pm that night (even the staffer I talked to seemed to think this was a

truly bizarre scheduling choice...) At the moment I seem to be down to the

local IHOP, but they don't have wireless.

Anyone else know of any commercial chain in the US that (ideally) has

wireless and is planning to stay open on Thanksgiving? I may end up just

hanging out in my car. (Or maybe staying in my room with the door locked

with earphones in turned up on high, but that could turn into a

heartburn-inducing way to spend a holiday...)

-- Jen H.

On Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 1:40 PM, Hawthorne jenh789@...>wrote:

>

> I'm doing the same thing Jen- I could tag along on someone else's

>> Thanksgiving but would rather be alone. You could rent a movie, or read a

>> book- I went to Amazon's top books and picked out something I want to read

>> for the portion of the day that I'm not going to be working. I haven't

>> given myself permission to just read a fun, non-BPD, non-self-help book in

>> so long, Thanksgiving Day when I really shouldn't be working anyway feels

>> like the perfect time to give myself permission to do it.

>>

>

> Yeah, I'm planning on reading -- (Jon Ronson's " The Men Who Stare At

> Goats " , just for the wackiness) and I have a DVD borrowed from a friend I'm

> going to watch on my laptop. I've got plenty to do and enjoy and be

> thankful for, I just need to not be in Nada's house -- where I live for

> just one short more month -- that day because either I will be subjected to

> repeated attempts to get me to " participate " (we're NC, so I expect she'll

> be banging on my locked door and either screaming or sobbing, or

> alternating, or both at once) or at a minimum subjected to loud noises

> from upstairs as Nada and my reluctantly-still-in-contact brother and his

> family eat and proclaim loudly how much fun they're having (they're not,

> but " keeping up appearances " is important to Nada, so they'll play along.)

> I actively want to avoid the first option (screaming/sobbing) and the

> second will interfere with my attempts to relax and unwind while reading or

> watching a movie, so I need a different roof to be under for the day.

>

>>

>> I also highly recommend giving yourself a facial and a foot rub and take

>> some time to do some meditation, these are some of the things I never allow

>> myself to do for myself, you may not have any of these same hangups I do

>> though of not feeling worthy of your own time. I just think that self-care

>> will be really important on Thursday for all of us KOs so we don't wind up

>> feeling depressed about our (lack of) families.

>>

>>

>> I am also giving thought to visiting the (Buddhist) meditation center I

>> like to frequent, I bet they will be open. And that is the kind of place,if

>> you have one nearby, that will welcome you with open arms for as many hours

>> as you want to spend there!

>>

>> I do attend a Buddhist meditation center for weekly practice, but it's

> small (we're in the Midwest -- Buddhists tend to be regarded as a cult,

> sigh) and it will probably not be open that day, although I will check on

> it as I could be surprised by that. I very much enjoy meditating there,

> it's a wonderfully peaceful place.

>

> -- Jen H.

>

>

>>

>>

>>

>> in this

topichttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1/message/144114;_ylc=X3oDMT\

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>> **This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new book The

>> Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tips and

>> Tools to Stop Walking on Eggshells, available at www.BPDCentral.com.**

>> Problems? Write @.... DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST.

>>

>> To unsub from this list, send a blank email to

>> WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe .

>>

>> Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a Borderline Parent, " and

>> " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (hard to find)

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Google " open on Thanksgiving Day 2012 " and your city.

I just did; I live near a very large city and apparently even a theme park will

be open all day and presenting Thanksgiving-themed activities and dinner. Holy

cow, I never realized so many T-day events for the public were going on around

here.

I hope you find some in your area, too.

-Annie

>

> >

> > I'm doing the same thing Jen- I could tag along on someone else's

> >> Thanksgiving but would rather be alone. You could rent a movie, or read a

> >> book- I went to Amazon's top books and picked out something I want to read

> >> for the portion of the day that I'm not going to be working. I haven't

> >> given myself permission to just read a fun, non-BPD, non-self-help book in

> >> so long, Thanksgiving Day when I really shouldn't be working anyway feels

> >> like the perfect time to give myself permission to do it.

> >>

> >

> > Yeah, I'm planning on reading -- (Jon Ronson's " The Men Who Stare At

> > Goats " , just for the wackiness) and I have a DVD borrowed from a friend I'm

> > going to watch on my laptop. I've got plenty to do and enjoy and be

> > thankful for, I just need to not be in Nada's house -- where I live for

> > just one short more month -- that day because either I will be subjected to

> > repeated attempts to get me to " participate " (we're NC, so I expect she'll

> > be banging on my locked door and either screaming or sobbing, or

> > alternating, or both at once) or at a minimum subjected to loud noises

> > from upstairs as Nada and my reluctantly-still-in-contact brother and his

> > family eat and proclaim loudly how much fun they're having (they're not,

> > but " keeping up appearances " is important to Nada, so they'll play along.)

> > I actively want to avoid the first option (screaming/sobbing) and the

> > second will interfere with my attempts to relax and unwind while reading or

> > watching a movie, so I need a different roof to be under for the day.

> >

> >>

> >> I also highly recommend giving yourself a facial and a foot rub and take

> >> some time to do some meditation, these are some of the things I never allow

> >> myself to do for myself, you may not have any of these same hangups I do

> >> though of not feeling worthy of your own time. I just think that self-care

> >> will be really important on Thursday for all of us KOs so we don't wind up

> >> feeling depressed about our (lack of) families.

> >>

> >>

> >> I am also giving thought to visiting the (Buddhist) meditation center I

> >> like to frequent, I bet they will be open. And that is the kind of place,if

> >> you have one nearby, that will welcome you with open arms for as many hours

> >> as you want to spend there!

> >>

> >> I do attend a Buddhist meditation center for weekly practice, but it's

> > small (we're in the Midwest -- Buddhists tend to be regarded as a cult,

> > sigh) and it will probably not be open that day, although I will check on

> > it as I could be surprised by that. I very much enjoy meditating there,

> > it's a wonderfully peaceful place.

> >

> > -- Jen H.

> >

> >

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >> in this

topichttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1/message/144114;_ylc=X3oDMT\

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E0NDExNgRzZWMDZnRyBHNsawN2dHBjBHN0aW1lAzEzNTMyNjIwNjkEdHBjSWQDMTQ0MTE0>(3)

> >> Recent Activity:

> >>

> >> - New

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> >> 15

> >>

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3RpbWUDMTM1MzI2MjA2OQ-->

> >> **This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new book The

> >> Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tips and

> >> Tools to Stop Walking on Eggshells, available at www.BPDCentral.com.**

> >> Problems? Write @... DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST.

> >>

> >> To unsub from this list, send a blank email to

> >> WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe

> >>

> >> Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a Borderline Parent, " and

> >> " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (hard to find)

> >> [image: Yahoo!

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>

>

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Starbucks? My local Starbucks is open always but I live in NYC so I know it is

different elsewhere.

I'm so sorry that it will be so hard to avoid Nada on Thanksgiving. That is a

really tough and invalidating situation you are in! I have a considerably

easier time avoiding Nada, which is something I'm now much more acutely grateful

for!!!

>

> >

> > I'm doing the same thing Jen- I could tag along on someone else's

> >> Thanksgiving but would rather be alone. You could rent a movie, or read a

> >> book- I went to Amazon's top books and picked out something I want to read

> >> for the portion of the day that I'm not going to be working. I haven't

> >> given myself permission to just read a fun, non-BPD, non-self-help book in

> >> so long, Thanksgiving Day when I really shouldn't be working anyway feels

> >> like the perfect time to give myself permission to do it.

> >>

> >

> > Yeah, I'm planning on reading -- (Jon Ronson's " The Men Who Stare At

> > Goats " , just for the wackiness) and I have a DVD borrowed from a friend I'm

> > going to watch on my laptop. I've got plenty to do and enjoy and be

> > thankful for, I just need to not be in Nada's house -- where I live for

> > just one short more month -- that day because either I will be subjected to

> > repeated attempts to get me to " participate " (we're NC, so I expect she'll

> > be banging on my locked door and either screaming or sobbing, or

> > alternating, or both at once) or at a minimum subjected to loud noises

> > from upstairs as Nada and my reluctantly-still-in-contact brother and his

> > family eat and proclaim loudly how much fun they're having (they're not,

> > but " keeping up appearances " is important to Nada, so they'll play along.)

> > I actively want to avoid the first option (screaming/sobbing) and the

> > second will interfere with my attempts to relax and unwind while reading or

> > watching a movie, so I need a different roof to be under for the day.

> >

> >>

> >> I also highly recommend giving yourself a facial and a foot rub and take

> >> some time to do some meditation, these are some of the things I never allow

> >> myself to do for myself, you may not have any of these same hangups I do

> >> though of not feeling worthy of your own time. I just think that self-care

> >> will be really important on Thursday for all of us KOs so we don't wind up

> >> feeling depressed about our (lack of) families.

> >>

> >>

> >> I am also giving thought to visiting the (Buddhist) meditation center I

> >> like to frequent, I bet they will be open. And that is the kind of place,if

> >> you have one nearby, that will welcome you with open arms for as many hours

> >> as you want to spend there!

> >>

> >> I do attend a Buddhist meditation center for weekly practice, but it's

> > small (we're in the Midwest -- Buddhists tend to be regarded as a cult,

> > sigh) and it will probably not be open that day, although I will check on

> > it as I could be surprised by that. I very much enjoy meditating there,

> > it's a wonderfully peaceful place.

> >

> > -- Jen H.

> >

> >

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >> in this

topichttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1/message/144114;_ylc=X3oDMT\

M4ZGJiczQyBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BG1zZ0lkAz\

E0NDExNgRzZWMDZnRyBHNsawN2dHBjBHN0aW1lAzEzNTMyNjIwNjkEdHBjSWQDMTQ0MTE0>(3)

> >> Recent Activity:

> >>

> >> - New

Membershttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1/members;_ylc=X3oDMTJma2t\

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rA3ZtYnJzBHN0aW1lAzEzNTMyNjIwNjk-?o=6>

> >> 15

> >>

> >> Visit Your

Grouphttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1;_ylc=X3oDMTJlNmw5MGNrBF9TA\

zk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BHNlYwN2dGwEc2xrA3ZnaHAEc\

3RpbWUDMTM1MzI2MjA2OQ-->

> >> **This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new book The

> >> Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tips and

> >> Tools to Stop Walking on Eggshells, available at www.BPDCentral.com.**

> >> Problems? Write @... DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST.

> >>

> >> To unsub from this list, send a blank email to

> >> WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe

> >>

> >> Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a Borderline Parent, " and

> >> " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (hard to find)

> >> [image: Yahoo!

Groups]http://groups.yahoo.com/;_ylc=X3oDMTJkcTY3bThhBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAz\

IzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BHNlYwNmdHIEc2xrA2dmcARzdGltZQMxMzUzMjYyMDY5>

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ual+mail+v1>

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> >>

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> >

>

>

>

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Hello Lovely People!

Please, just as a reminder. wherever you end up please thank the people

working that day and tip extra extra well. Having managed a health club for

5 years, I never had a thanksgiving off nor did my staff. Although I have a

NADA and did not mind too much, many on my staff were quite unhappy about

not being able to be with family that day (or Christmas). While it is a

blessing for the minority of us who want to be anywhere but with family

those days, most do and I think it is soooooo greedy and uncaring that

corporate America puts profits over staff well-being on two lousy days of

the year. My two cents for whatever it is worth..

From: WTOAdultChildren1

[mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of mdg2101

Sent: Sunday, November 18, 2012 5:33 PM

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Subject: Re: Looking for suggestions for where to spend

a peaceful Thanksgiving

Starbucks? My local Starbucks is open always but I live in NYC so I know it

is different elsewhere.

I'm so sorry that it will be so hard to avoid Nada on Thanksgiving. That is

a really tough and invalidating situation you are in! I have a considerably

easier time avoiding Nada, which is something I'm now much more acutely

grateful for!!!

>

> >

> > I'm doing the same thing Jen- I could tag along on someone else's

> >> Thanksgiving but would rather be alone. You could rent a movie, or read

a

> >> book- I went to Amazon's top books and picked out something I want to

read

> >> for the portion of the day that I'm not going to be working. I haven't

> >> given myself permission to just read a fun, non-BPD, non-self-help book

in

> >> so long, Thanksgiving Day when I really shouldn't be working anyway

feels

> >> like the perfect time to give myself permission to do it.

> >>

> >

> > Yeah, I'm planning on reading -- (Jon Ronson's " The Men Who Stare At

> > Goats " , just for the wackiness) and I have a DVD borrowed from a friend

I'm

> > going to watch on my laptop. I've got plenty to do and enjoy and be

> > thankful for, I just need to not be in Nada's house -- where I live for

> > just one short more month -- that day because either I will be subjected

to

> > repeated attempts to get me to " participate " (we're NC, so I expect

she'll

> > be banging on my locked door and either screaming or sobbing, or

> > alternating, or both at once) or at a minimum subjected to loud noises

> > from upstairs as Nada and my reluctantly-still-in-contact brother and

his

> > family eat and proclaim loudly how much fun they're having (they're not,

> > but " keeping up appearances " is important to Nada, so they'll play

along.)

> > I actively want to avoid the first option (screaming/sobbing) and the

> > second will interfere with my attempts to relax and unwind while reading

or

> > watching a movie, so I need a different roof to be under for the day.

> >

> >>

> >> I also highly recommend giving yourself a facial and a foot rub and

take

> >> some time to do some meditation, these are some of the things I never

allow

> >> myself to do for myself, you may not have any of these same hangups I

do

> >> though of not feeling worthy of your own time. I just think that

self-care

> >> will be really important on Thursday for all of us KOs so we don't wind

up

> >> feeling depressed about our (lack of) families.

> >>

> >>

> >> I am also giving thought to visiting the (Buddhist) meditation center I

> >> like to frequent, I bet they will be open. And that is the kind of

place,if

> >> you have one nearby, that will welcome you with open arms for as many

hours

> >> as you want to spend there!

> >>

> >> I do attend a Buddhist meditation center for weekly practice, but it's

> > small (we're in the Midwest -- Buddhists tend to be regarded as a cult,

> > sigh) and it will probably not be open that day, although I will check

on

> > it as I could be surprised by that. I very much enjoy meditating there,

> > it's a wonderfully peaceful place.

> >

> > -- Jen H.

> >

> >

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >> in this

topichttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1/message/144114;_ylc=X3

oDMTM4ZGJiczQyBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BG

1zZ0lkAzE0NDExNgRzZWMDZnRyBHNsawN2dHBjBHN0aW1lAzEzNTMyNjIwNjkEdHBjSWQDMTQ0MT

E0>(3)

> >> Recent Activity:

> >>

> >> - New

Membershttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1/members;_ylc=X3oDMTJ

ma2txN2Q1BF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BHNlYwN

2dGwEc2xrA3ZtYnJzBHN0aW1lAzEzNTMyNjIwNjk-?o=6>

> >> 15

> >>

> >> Visit Your

Grouphttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1;_ylc=X3oDMTJlNmw5MGNrB

F9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BHNlYwN2dGwEc2xrA

3ZnaHAEc3RpbWUDMTM1MzI2MjA2OQ-->

> >> **This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new book The

> >> Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tips and

> >> Tools to Stop Walking on Eggshells, available at www.BPDCentral.com.**

> >> Problems? Write @... DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST.

> >>

> >> To unsub from this list, send a blank email to

> >> WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe

> >>

> >> Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a Borderline Parent, " and

> >> " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (hard to find)

> >> [image: Yahoo!

Groups]http://groups.yahoo.com/;_ylc=X3oDMTJkcTY3bThhBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycE

lkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BHNlYwNmdHIEc2xrA2dmcARzdGltZQMxMzUzMj

YyMDY5>

> >> Switch to: Text-OnlyWTOAdultChildren1-traditional

?subject=Change+Delivery+Format:+Traditional>,

> >> Daily DigestWTOAdultChildren1-digest

?subject=Email+Delivery:+Digest>.

> >> UnsubscribeWTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe

?subject=Unsubscribe>. Terms

> >> of Use http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> . Send us Feedback

> >> ygroupsnotifications

?subject=Feedback+on+the+redesigned+individual+mail+v1>

> >> .

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >

> >

>

>

>

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> **

>

>

> Starbucks? My local Starbucks is open always but I live in NYC so I know

> it is different elsewhere.

>

> I'm so sorry that it will be so hard to avoid Nada on Thanksgiving. That

> is a really tough and invalidating situation you are in! I have a

> considerably easier time avoiding Nada, which is something I'm now much

> more acutely grateful for!!!

>

Ah HAH! I knew I was forgetting something! There is a Starbucks in town

(it's not THAT small, thank God) and it looks like they will be open

Thanksgiving Day, so even though it means driving across town it looks like

that's where I'll be headed. Whew! Many thanks for the suggestion!

(Something ELSE to be thankful for XD )

Yes, this kind of thing is why I was hoping to have my move made before

Thanksgiving (the original plan I made in the spring), but I wasn't quite

able to pull it off due to a variety of complicating factors. I'm

determined to be out before Christmas though, as I happen to love Christmas

too much to want to have yet another one spoiled by my Nada. (One year a

while ago, she spend a couple hours screaming at me on Christmas because

she didn't think I was " grateful enough " for the gifts because I " though

they hadn't spent enough money on me. " I of course had thought no such

thing, but Nada's convinced she's a mind-reader, like so many of them.)

Anyway, thanks again for the tip!

-- Jen H.

(PS: Oh, I did try the " Google to see what's open " trick before I read this

message, but the list was oriented toward retail shopping not coffeehouses

so if Starbucks was on the list I missed it. I was contemplating going to

my local Target since they have a little dining area with tables and chairs

where I could sit and mess with my laptop or read, but I don't think they

have wireless and I was worried about how many hours they'd be willing to

let me just sit there, heh.)

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Yay, many thanks that we have our friends on WTO to help with all sorts of

Nada-created issues!! Glad we came up with something on this one!

Keep us posted, I'm sure I speak for everyone on the board in saying we will be

rootig for you to make it out before Christmas!

>

> > **

> >

> >

> > Starbucks? My local Starbucks is open always but I live in NYC so I know

> > it is different elsewhere.

> >

> > I'm so sorry that it will be so hard to avoid Nada on Thanksgiving. That

> > is a really tough and invalidating situation you are in! I have a

> > considerably easier time avoiding Nada, which is something I'm now much

> > more acutely grateful for!!!

> >

>

> Ah HAH! I knew I was forgetting something! There is a Starbucks in town

> (it's not THAT small, thank God) and it looks like they will be open

> Thanksgiving Day, so even though it means driving across town it looks like

> that's where I'll be headed. Whew! Many thanks for the suggestion!

> (Something ELSE to be thankful for XD )

>

> Yes, this kind of thing is why I was hoping to have my move made before

> Thanksgiving (the original plan I made in the spring), but I wasn't quite

> able to pull it off due to a variety of complicating factors. I'm

> determined to be out before Christmas though, as I happen to love Christmas

> too much to want to have yet another one spoiled by my Nada. (One year a

> while ago, she spend a couple hours screaming at me on Christmas because

> she didn't think I was " grateful enough " for the gifts because I " though

> they hadn't spent enough money on me. " I of course had thought no such

> thing, but Nada's convinced she's a mind-reader, like so many of them.)

>

> Anyway, thanks again for the tip!

>

> -- Jen H.

>

> (PS: Oh, I did try the " Google to see what's open " trick before I read this

> message, but the list was oriented toward retail shopping not coffeehouses

> so if Starbucks was on the list I missed it. I was contemplating going to

> my local Target since they have a little dining area with tables and chairs

> where I could sit and mess with my laptop or read, but I don't think they

> have wireless and I was worried about how many hours they'd be willing to

> let me just sit there, heh.)

>

>

>

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