Guest guest Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 Hi all -- I've decided I don't want to hang around my Nada's house on Thanksgiving Day, preferring instead to just remove myself entirely from the whole mess. I'm wondering if anyone has any good suggestions for quiet and pleasant places to pass the day on Thanksgiving? I was hoping to decamp to a hotel for Wednesday and Thursday and just enjoy the quiet, but my budget won't stretch, unfortunately, as I'm saving every dollar for the Freedom Leap move coming in mid-December. My usual " avoid Nada " places like the various local libraries won't be open on Thanksgiving, and while I plan to take in a movie I don't plan to spend the whole day at the theater (too expensive, for one.) I'm thinking camping out in a commercial outlet like & Noble where I can run my laptop and read might be good, but I don't want to wear out my welcome when I don't actually buy anything. (Ditto for the local coffeehouses with wireless.) I do have friends who might be willing to let me sit in, but I'm actually just fine with being alone on Thanksgiving (blessed quiet!) and I'd prefer not to impose. I just need a sort of hidey-hole for the day and was wondering if anyone had any ideas? If we lived in a warmer part of the country it would be great to spend the day in a park or walking in the forest and meditating on the things I *do* have to be thankful for, but it's likely to be too cold and possibly rainy for that to be a guaranteed option. So, ideas? Thanks! Jen H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 I've had good experiences volunteering to help make Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas dinner, and serving it at homeless shelters. It was so nice to chat with fellow volunteers while we prepared and served the dinners, and did clean up afterwards. I did this through the place I was working at the time; that company has a large and active community service program. So, perhaps check out local churches or homeless shelters in your area; they're probably looking for volunteers for a Thanksgiving Day Dinner program. This year I am going to join a friend and her family for TG day, but I would like to volunteer again. -Annie > > Hi all -- > > I've decided I don't want to hang around my Nada's house on Thanksgiving > Day, preferring instead to just remove myself entirely from the whole mess. > I'm wondering if anyone has any good suggestions for quiet and pleasant > places to pass the day on Thanksgiving? I was hoping to decamp to a hotel > for Wednesday and Thursday and just enjoy the quiet, but my budget won't > stretch, unfortunately, as I'm saving every dollar for the Freedom Leap > move coming in mid-December. > > My usual " avoid Nada " places like the various local libraries won't be open > on Thanksgiving, and while I plan to take in a movie I don't plan to spend > the whole day at the theater (too expensive, for one.) I'm thinking > camping out in a commercial outlet like & Noble where I can run my > laptop and read might be good, but I don't want to wear out my welcome when > I don't actually buy anything. (Ditto for the local coffeehouses with > wireless.) I do have friends who might be willing to let me sit in, but > I'm actually just fine with being alone on Thanksgiving (blessed quiet!) > and I'd prefer not to impose. I just need a sort of hidey-hole for the day > and was wondering if anyone had any ideas? > > If we lived in a warmer part of the country it would be great to spend the > day in a park or walking in the forest and meditating on the things I *do* > have to be thankful for, but it's likely to be too cold and possibly rainy > for that to be a guaranteed option. > > So, ideas? > > Thanks! > Jen H. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 I'm doing the same thing Jen- I could tag along on someone else's Thanksgiving but would rather be alone. You could rent a movie, or read a book- I went to Amazon's top books and picked out something I want to read for the portion of the day that I'm not going to be working. I haven't given myself permission to just read a fun, non-BPD, non-self-help book in so long, Thanksgiving Day when I really shouldn't be working anyway feels like the perfect time to give myself permission to do it. I also highly recommend giving yourself a facial and a foot rub and take some time to do some meditation, these are some of the things I never allow myself to do for myself, you may not have any of these same hangups I do though of not feeling worthy of your own time. I just think that self-care will be really important on Thursday for all of us KOs so we don't wind up feeling depressed about our (lack of) families. I am also giving thought to visiting the (Buddhist) meditation center I like to frequent, I bet they will be open. And that is the kind of place,if you have one nearby, that will welcome you with open arms for as many hours as you want to spend there! > > Hi all -- > > I've decided I don't want to hang around my Nada's house on Thanksgiving > Day, preferring instead to just remove myself entirely from the whole mess. > I'm wondering if anyone has any good suggestions for quiet and pleasant > places to pass the day on Thanksgiving? I was hoping to decamp to a hotel > for Wednesday and Thursday and just enjoy the quiet, but my budget won't > stretch, unfortunately, as I'm saving every dollar for the Freedom Leap > move coming in mid-December. > > My usual " avoid Nada " places like the various local libraries won't be open > on Thanksgiving, and while I plan to take in a movie I don't plan to spend > the whole day at the theater (too expensive, for one.) I'm thinking > camping out in a commercial outlet like & Noble where I can run my > laptop and read might be good, but I don't want to wear out my welcome when > I don't actually buy anything. (Ditto for the local coffeehouses with > wireless.) I do have friends who might be willing to let me sit in, but > I'm actually just fine with being alone on Thanksgiving (blessed quiet!) > and I'd prefer not to impose. I just need a sort of hidey-hole for the day > and was wondering if anyone had any ideas? > > If we lived in a warmer part of the country it would be great to spend the > day in a park or walking in the forest and meditating on the things I *do* > have to be thankful for, but it's likely to be too cold and possibly rainy > for that to be a guaranteed option. > > So, ideas? > > Thanks! > Jen H. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 Oh, I've tried to do that on Christmas before and learned a lesson that was obvious only in retrospect: A lot of homeless shelters are OVERWHELMED with volunteers on Holidays, because people who want to volunteer but don't normally have time, have those days off! So in my local city in Michigan, if you want to volunteer at a shelter on a holiday, you have to sign up in advance -- which I didn't because I thought I'd be relaxing at a motel. I could still drop by and see if they need a hand, of course, but I'll probably get a heartbreaking variant of the line I've heard before, which is, " We have more hands than we can use right now, but maybe you could come back next week...? " ...because these places are usually understaffed during " normal " days when regular folks have to work. Also, most of the places around here close up shop by four or five p.m. on Thanksgiving day so the staff can go home to their family dinners, so I still have to figure out where to hang after the sun goes down, although the coffeehouse will probably do until it's " safe " to sneak back to the house (after Nada's in bed or at least not looking out the door.) Thanks for the suggestion though! -- Jen H. On Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 1:05 PM, anuria67854 anuria-67854@...>wrote: > ** > > > I've had good experiences volunteering to help make Thanksgiving dinner > and Christmas dinner, and serving it at homeless shelters. It was so nice > to chat with fellow volunteers while we prepared and served the dinners, > and did clean up afterwards. I did this through the place I was working at > the time; that company has a large and active community service program. > > So, perhaps check out local churches or homeless shelters in your area; > they're probably looking for volunteers for a Thanksgiving Day Dinner > program. This year I am going to join a friend and her family for TG day, > but I would like to volunteer again. > > -Annie > > > > > > > Hi all -- > > > > I've decided I don't want to hang around my Nada's house on Thanksgiving > > Day, preferring instead to just remove myself entirely from the whole > mess. > > I'm wondering if anyone has any good suggestions for quiet and pleasant > > places to pass the day on Thanksgiving? I was hoping to decamp to a hotel > > for Wednesday and Thursday and just enjoy the quiet, but my budget won't > > stretch, unfortunately, as I'm saving every dollar for the Freedom Leap > > move coming in mid-December. > > > > My usual " avoid Nada " places like the various local libraries won't be > open > > on Thanksgiving, and while I plan to take in a movie I don't plan to > spend > > the whole day at the theater (too expensive, for one.) I'm thinking > > camping out in a commercial outlet like & Noble where I can run my > > laptop and read might be good, but I don't want to wear out my welcome > when > > I don't actually buy anything. (Ditto for the local coffeehouses with > > wireless.) I do have friends who might be willing to let me sit in, but > > I'm actually just fine with being alone on Thanksgiving (blessed quiet!) > > and I'd prefer not to impose. I just need a sort of hidey-hole for the > day > > and was wondering if anyone had any ideas? > > > > If we lived in a warmer part of the country it would be great to spend > the > > day in a park or walking in the forest and meditating on the things I > *do* > > have to be thankful for, but it's likely to be too cold and possibly > rainy > > for that to be a guaranteed option. > > > > So, ideas? > > > > Thanks! > > Jen H. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 > I'm doing the same thing Jen- I could tag along on someone else's > Thanksgiving but would rather be alone. You could rent a movie, or read a > book- I went to Amazon's top books and picked out something I want to read > for the portion of the day that I'm not going to be working. I haven't > given myself permission to just read a fun, non-BPD, non-self-help book in > so long, Thanksgiving Day when I really shouldn't be working anyway feels > like the perfect time to give myself permission to do it. > Yeah, I'm planning on reading -- (Jon Ronson's " The Men Who Stare At Goats " , just for the wackiness) and I have a DVD borrowed from a friend I'm going to watch on my laptop. I've got plenty to do and enjoy and be thankful for, I just need to not be in Nada's house -- where I live for just one short more month -- that day because either I will be subjected to repeated attempts to get me to " participate " (we're NC, so I expect she'll be banging on my locked door and either screaming or sobbing, or alternating, or both at once) or at a minimum subjected to loud noises from upstairs as Nada and my reluctantly-still-in-contact brother and his family eat and proclaim loudly how much fun they're having (they're not, but " keeping up appearances " is important to Nada, so they'll play along.) I actively want to avoid the first option (screaming/sobbing) and the second will interfere with my attempts to relax and unwind while reading or watching a movie, so I need a different roof to be under for the day. > > I also highly recommend giving yourself a facial and a foot rub and take > some time to do some meditation, these are some of the things I never allow > myself to do for myself, you may not have any of these same hangups I do > though of not feeling worthy of your own time. I just think that self-care > will be really important on Thursday for all of us KOs so we don't wind up > feeling depressed about our (lack of) families. > > > I am also giving thought to visiting the (Buddhist) meditation center I > like to frequent, I bet they will be open. And that is the kind of place,if > you have one nearby, that will welcome you with open arms for as many hours > as you want to spend there! > > I do attend a Buddhist meditation center for weekly practice, but it's small (we're in the Midwest -- Buddhists tend to be regarded as a cult, sigh) and it will probably not be open that day, although I will check on it as I could be surprised by that. I very much enjoy meditating there, it's a wonderfully peaceful place. -- Jen H. > > > > in this topichttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1/message/144114;_ylc=X3oDMT\ M4ZGJiczQyBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BG1zZ0lkAz\ E0NDExNgRzZWMDZnRyBHNsawN2dHBjBHN0aW1lAzEzNTMyNjIwNjkEdHBjSWQDMTQ0MTE0>(3) > Recent Activity: > > - New Membershttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1/members;_ylc=X3oDMTJma2t\ xN2Q1BF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BHNlYwN2dGwEc2x\ rA3ZtYnJzBHN0aW1lAzEzNTMyNjIwNjk-?o=6> > 15 > > Visit Your Grouphttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1;_ylc=X3oDMTJlNmw5MGNrBF9TA\ zk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BHNlYwN2dGwEc2xrA3ZnaHAEc\ 3RpbWUDMTM1MzI2MjA2OQ--> > **This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new book The > Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tips and > Tools to Stop Walking on Eggshells, available at www.BPDCentral.com.** > Problems? Write @.... DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST. > > To unsub from this list, send a blank email to > WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe . > > Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a Borderline Parent, " and > " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (hard to find) > [image: Yahoo! Groups]http://groups.yahoo.com/;_ylc=X3oDMTJkcTY3bThhBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAz\ IzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BHNlYwNmdHIEc2xrA2dmcARzdGltZQMxMzUzMjYyMDY5> > Switch to: Text-OnlyWTOAdultChildren1-traditional ?subject=Change+Delivery+\ Format:+Traditional>, > Daily DigestWTOAdultChildren1-digest ?subject=Email+Delivery:+Digest>• > UnsubscribeWTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe ?subject=Unsubscribe>• Terms > of Use http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> • Send us Feedback > ygroupsnotifications ?subject=Feedback+on+the+redesigned+individ\ ual+mail+v1> > . > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 Hi again all -- Hm, turns out this is going to be more irritating than I thought; both my local & Noble and Panera stores are going to be closed all day Thanksgiving day. The new Tim Horton's was supposed to be open, but I just called and they said they were closing at noon Thanksgiving and reopening at 9pm that night (even the staffer I talked to seemed to think this was a truly bizarre scheduling choice...) At the moment I seem to be down to the local IHOP, but they don't have wireless. Anyone else know of any commercial chain in the US that (ideally) has wireless and is planning to stay open on Thanksgiving? I may end up just hanging out in my car. (Or maybe staying in my room with the door locked with earphones in turned up on high, but that could turn into a heartburn-inducing way to spend a holiday...) -- Jen H. On Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 1:40 PM, Hawthorne jenh789@...>wrote: > > I'm doing the same thing Jen- I could tag along on someone else's >> Thanksgiving but would rather be alone. You could rent a movie, or read a >> book- I went to Amazon's top books and picked out something I want to read >> for the portion of the day that I'm not going to be working. I haven't >> given myself permission to just read a fun, non-BPD, non-self-help book in >> so long, Thanksgiving Day when I really shouldn't be working anyway feels >> like the perfect time to give myself permission to do it. >> > > Yeah, I'm planning on reading -- (Jon Ronson's " The Men Who Stare At > Goats " , just for the wackiness) and I have a DVD borrowed from a friend I'm > going to watch on my laptop. I've got plenty to do and enjoy and be > thankful for, I just need to not be in Nada's house -- where I live for > just one short more month -- that day because either I will be subjected to > repeated attempts to get me to " participate " (we're NC, so I expect she'll > be banging on my locked door and either screaming or sobbing, or > alternating, or both at once) or at a minimum subjected to loud noises > from upstairs as Nada and my reluctantly-still-in-contact brother and his > family eat and proclaim loudly how much fun they're having (they're not, > but " keeping up appearances " is important to Nada, so they'll play along.) > I actively want to avoid the first option (screaming/sobbing) and the > second will interfere with my attempts to relax and unwind while reading or > watching a movie, so I need a different roof to be under for the day. > >> >> I also highly recommend giving yourself a facial and a foot rub and take >> some time to do some meditation, these are some of the things I never allow >> myself to do for myself, you may not have any of these same hangups I do >> though of not feeling worthy of your own time. I just think that self-care >> will be really important on Thursday for all of us KOs so we don't wind up >> feeling depressed about our (lack of) families. >> >> >> I am also giving thought to visiting the (Buddhist) meditation center I >> like to frequent, I bet they will be open. And that is the kind of place,if >> you have one nearby, that will welcome you with open arms for as many hours >> as you want to spend there! >> >> I do attend a Buddhist meditation center for weekly practice, but it's > small (we're in the Midwest -- Buddhists tend to be regarded as a cult, > sigh) and it will probably not be open that day, although I will check on > it as I could be surprised by that. I very much enjoy meditating there, > it's a wonderfully peaceful place. > > -- Jen H. > > >> >> >> >> in this topichttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1/message/144114;_ylc=X3oDMT\ M4ZGJiczQyBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BG1zZ0lkAz\ E0NDExNgRzZWMDZnRyBHNsawN2dHBjBHN0aW1lAzEzNTMyNjIwNjkEdHBjSWQDMTQ0MTE0>(3) >> Recent Activity: >> >> - New Membershttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1/members;_ylc=X3oDMTJma2t\ xN2Q1BF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BHNlYwN2dGwEc2x\ rA3ZtYnJzBHN0aW1lAzEzNTMyNjIwNjk-?o=6> >> 15 >> >> Visit Your Grouphttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1;_ylc=X3oDMTJlNmw5MGNrBF9TA\ zk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BHNlYwN2dGwEc2xrA3ZnaHAEc\ 3RpbWUDMTM1MzI2MjA2OQ--> >> **This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new book The >> Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tips and >> Tools to Stop Walking on Eggshells, available at www.BPDCentral.com.** >> Problems? Write @.... DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST. >> >> To unsub from this list, send a blank email to >> WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe . >> >> Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a Borderline Parent, " and >> " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (hard to find) >> [image: Yahoo! Groups]http://groups.yahoo.com/;_ylc=X3oDMTJkcTY3bThhBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAz\ IzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BHNlYwNmdHIEc2xrA2dmcARzdGltZQMxMzUzMjYyMDY5> >> Switch to: Text-OnlyWTOAdultChildren1-traditional ?subject=Change+Delivery+\ Format:+Traditional>, >> Daily DigestWTOAdultChildren1-digest ?subject=Email+Delivery:+Digest>• >> UnsubscribeWTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe ?subject=Unsubscribe>• Terms >> of Use http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> • Send us Feedback >> ygroupsnotifications ?subject=Feedback+on+the+redesigned+individ\ ual+mail+v1> >> . >> >> >> > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 Google " open on Thanksgiving Day 2012 " and your city. I just did; I live near a very large city and apparently even a theme park will be open all day and presenting Thanksgiving-themed activities and dinner. Holy cow, I never realized so many T-day events for the public were going on around here. I hope you find some in your area, too. -Annie > > > > > I'm doing the same thing Jen- I could tag along on someone else's > >> Thanksgiving but would rather be alone. You could rent a movie, or read a > >> book- I went to Amazon's top books and picked out something I want to read > >> for the portion of the day that I'm not going to be working. I haven't > >> given myself permission to just read a fun, non-BPD, non-self-help book in > >> so long, Thanksgiving Day when I really shouldn't be working anyway feels > >> like the perfect time to give myself permission to do it. > >> > > > > Yeah, I'm planning on reading -- (Jon Ronson's " The Men Who Stare At > > Goats " , just for the wackiness) and I have a DVD borrowed from a friend I'm > > going to watch on my laptop. I've got plenty to do and enjoy and be > > thankful for, I just need to not be in Nada's house -- where I live for > > just one short more month -- that day because either I will be subjected to > > repeated attempts to get me to " participate " (we're NC, so I expect she'll > > be banging on my locked door and either screaming or sobbing, or > > alternating, or both at once) or at a minimum subjected to loud noises > > from upstairs as Nada and my reluctantly-still-in-contact brother and his > > family eat and proclaim loudly how much fun they're having (they're not, > > but " keeping up appearances " is important to Nada, so they'll play along.) > > I actively want to avoid the first option (screaming/sobbing) and the > > second will interfere with my attempts to relax and unwind while reading or > > watching a movie, so I need a different roof to be under for the day. > > > >> > >> I also highly recommend giving yourself a facial and a foot rub and take > >> some time to do some meditation, these are some of the things I never allow > >> myself to do for myself, you may not have any of these same hangups I do > >> though of not feeling worthy of your own time. I just think that self-care > >> will be really important on Thursday for all of us KOs so we don't wind up > >> feeling depressed about our (lack of) families. > >> > >> > >> I am also giving thought to visiting the (Buddhist) meditation center I > >> like to frequent, I bet they will be open. And that is the kind of place,if > >> you have one nearby, that will welcome you with open arms for as many hours > >> as you want to spend there! > >> > >> I do attend a Buddhist meditation center for weekly practice, but it's > > small (we're in the Midwest -- Buddhists tend to be regarded as a cult, > > sigh) and it will probably not be open that day, although I will check on > > it as I could be surprised by that. I very much enjoy meditating there, > > it's a wonderfully peaceful place. > > > > -- Jen H. > > > > > >> > >> > >> > >> in this topichttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1/message/144114;_ylc=X3oDMT\ M4ZGJiczQyBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BG1zZ0lkAz\ E0NDExNgRzZWMDZnRyBHNsawN2dHBjBHN0aW1lAzEzNTMyNjIwNjkEdHBjSWQDMTQ0MTE0>(3) > >> Recent Activity: > >> > >> - New Membershttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1/members;_ylc=X3oDMTJma2t\ xN2Q1BF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BHNlYwN2dGwEc2x\ rA3ZtYnJzBHN0aW1lAzEzNTMyNjIwNjk-?o=6> > >> 15 > >> > >> Visit Your Grouphttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1;_ylc=X3oDMTJlNmw5MGNrBF9TA\ zk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BHNlYwN2dGwEc2xrA3ZnaHAEc\ 3RpbWUDMTM1MzI2MjA2OQ--> > >> **This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new book The > >> Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tips and > >> Tools to Stop Walking on Eggshells, available at www.BPDCentral.com.** > >> Problems? Write @... DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST. > >> > >> To unsub from this list, send a blank email to > >> WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe > >> > >> Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a Borderline Parent, " and > >> " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (hard to find) > >> [image: Yahoo! Groups]http://groups.yahoo.com/;_ylc=X3oDMTJkcTY3bThhBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAz\ IzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BHNlYwNmdHIEc2xrA2dmcARzdGltZQMxMzUzMjYyMDY5> > >> Switch to: Text-OnlyWTOAdultChildren1-traditional ?subject=Change+Delivery+\ Format:+Traditional>, > >> Daily DigestWTOAdultChildren1-digest ?subject=Email+Delivery:+Digest>• > >> UnsubscribeWTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe ?subject=Unsubscribe>• Terms > >> of Use http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> • Send us Feedback > >> ygroupsnotifications ?subject=Feedback+on+the+redesigned+individ\ ual+mail+v1> > >> . > >> > >> > >> > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 Starbucks? My local Starbucks is open always but I live in NYC so I know it is different elsewhere. I'm so sorry that it will be so hard to avoid Nada on Thanksgiving. That is a really tough and invalidating situation you are in! I have a considerably easier time avoiding Nada, which is something I'm now much more acutely grateful for!!! > > > > > I'm doing the same thing Jen- I could tag along on someone else's > >> Thanksgiving but would rather be alone. You could rent a movie, or read a > >> book- I went to Amazon's top books and picked out something I want to read > >> for the portion of the day that I'm not going to be working. I haven't > >> given myself permission to just read a fun, non-BPD, non-self-help book in > >> so long, Thanksgiving Day when I really shouldn't be working anyway feels > >> like the perfect time to give myself permission to do it. > >> > > > > Yeah, I'm planning on reading -- (Jon Ronson's " The Men Who Stare At > > Goats " , just for the wackiness) and I have a DVD borrowed from a friend I'm > > going to watch on my laptop. I've got plenty to do and enjoy and be > > thankful for, I just need to not be in Nada's house -- where I live for > > just one short more month -- that day because either I will be subjected to > > repeated attempts to get me to " participate " (we're NC, so I expect she'll > > be banging on my locked door and either screaming or sobbing, or > > alternating, or both at once) or at a minimum subjected to loud noises > > from upstairs as Nada and my reluctantly-still-in-contact brother and his > > family eat and proclaim loudly how much fun they're having (they're not, > > but " keeping up appearances " is important to Nada, so they'll play along.) > > I actively want to avoid the first option (screaming/sobbing) and the > > second will interfere with my attempts to relax and unwind while reading or > > watching a movie, so I need a different roof to be under for the day. > > > >> > >> I also highly recommend giving yourself a facial and a foot rub and take > >> some time to do some meditation, these are some of the things I never allow > >> myself to do for myself, you may not have any of these same hangups I do > >> though of not feeling worthy of your own time. I just think that self-care > >> will be really important on Thursday for all of us KOs so we don't wind up > >> feeling depressed about our (lack of) families. > >> > >> > >> I am also giving thought to visiting the (Buddhist) meditation center I > >> like to frequent, I bet they will be open. And that is the kind of place,if > >> you have one nearby, that will welcome you with open arms for as many hours > >> as you want to spend there! > >> > >> I do attend a Buddhist meditation center for weekly practice, but it's > > small (we're in the Midwest -- Buddhists tend to be regarded as a cult, > > sigh) and it will probably not be open that day, although I will check on > > it as I could be surprised by that. I very much enjoy meditating there, > > it's a wonderfully peaceful place. > > > > -- Jen H. > > > > > >> > >> > >> > >> in this topichttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1/message/144114;_ylc=X3oDMT\ M4ZGJiczQyBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BG1zZ0lkAz\ E0NDExNgRzZWMDZnRyBHNsawN2dHBjBHN0aW1lAzEzNTMyNjIwNjkEdHBjSWQDMTQ0MTE0>(3) > >> Recent Activity: > >> > >> - New Membershttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1/members;_ylc=X3oDMTJma2t\ xN2Q1BF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BHNlYwN2dGwEc2x\ rA3ZtYnJzBHN0aW1lAzEzNTMyNjIwNjk-?o=6> > >> 15 > >> > >> Visit Your Grouphttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1;_ylc=X3oDMTJlNmw5MGNrBF9TA\ zk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BHNlYwN2dGwEc2xrA3ZnaHAEc\ 3RpbWUDMTM1MzI2MjA2OQ--> > >> **This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new book The > >> Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tips and > >> Tools to Stop Walking on Eggshells, available at www.BPDCentral.com.** > >> Problems? Write @... DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST. > >> > >> To unsub from this list, send a blank email to > >> WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe > >> > >> Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a Borderline Parent, " and > >> " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (hard to find) > >> [image: Yahoo! Groups]http://groups.yahoo.com/;_ylc=X3oDMTJkcTY3bThhBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAz\ IzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BHNlYwNmdHIEc2xrA2dmcARzdGltZQMxMzUzMjYyMDY5> > >> Switch to: Text-OnlyWTOAdultChildren1-traditional ?subject=Change+Delivery+\ Format:+Traditional>, > >> Daily DigestWTOAdultChildren1-digest ?subject=Email+Delivery:+Digest>• > >> UnsubscribeWTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe ?subject=Unsubscribe>• Terms > >> of Use http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> • Send us Feedback > >> ygroupsnotifications ?subject=Feedback+on+the+redesigned+individ\ ual+mail+v1> > >> . > >> > >> > >> > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 Hello Lovely People! Please, just as a reminder. wherever you end up please thank the people working that day and tip extra extra well. Having managed a health club for 5 years, I never had a thanksgiving off nor did my staff. Although I have a NADA and did not mind too much, many on my staff were quite unhappy about not being able to be with family that day (or Christmas). While it is a blessing for the minority of us who want to be anywhere but with family those days, most do and I think it is soooooo greedy and uncaring that corporate America puts profits over staff well-being on two lousy days of the year. My two cents for whatever it is worth.. From: WTOAdultChildren1 [mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of mdg2101 Sent: Sunday, November 18, 2012 5:33 PM To: WTOAdultChildren1 Subject: Re: Looking for suggestions for where to spend a peaceful Thanksgiving Starbucks? My local Starbucks is open always but I live in NYC so I know it is different elsewhere. I'm so sorry that it will be so hard to avoid Nada on Thanksgiving. That is a really tough and invalidating situation you are in! I have a considerably easier time avoiding Nada, which is something I'm now much more acutely grateful for!!! > > > > > I'm doing the same thing Jen- I could tag along on someone else's > >> Thanksgiving but would rather be alone. You could rent a movie, or read a > >> book- I went to Amazon's top books and picked out something I want to read > >> for the portion of the day that I'm not going to be working. I haven't > >> given myself permission to just read a fun, non-BPD, non-self-help book in > >> so long, Thanksgiving Day when I really shouldn't be working anyway feels > >> like the perfect time to give myself permission to do it. > >> > > > > Yeah, I'm planning on reading -- (Jon Ronson's " The Men Who Stare At > > Goats " , just for the wackiness) and I have a DVD borrowed from a friend I'm > > going to watch on my laptop. I've got plenty to do and enjoy and be > > thankful for, I just need to not be in Nada's house -- where I live for > > just one short more month -- that day because either I will be subjected to > > repeated attempts to get me to " participate " (we're NC, so I expect she'll > > be banging on my locked door and either screaming or sobbing, or > > alternating, or both at once) or at a minimum subjected to loud noises > > from upstairs as Nada and my reluctantly-still-in-contact brother and his > > family eat and proclaim loudly how much fun they're having (they're not, > > but " keeping up appearances " is important to Nada, so they'll play along.) > > I actively want to avoid the first option (screaming/sobbing) and the > > second will interfere with my attempts to relax and unwind while reading or > > watching a movie, so I need a different roof to be under for the day. > > > >> > >> I also highly recommend giving yourself a facial and a foot rub and take > >> some time to do some meditation, these are some of the things I never allow > >> myself to do for myself, you may not have any of these same hangups I do > >> though of not feeling worthy of your own time. I just think that self-care > >> will be really important on Thursday for all of us KOs so we don't wind up > >> feeling depressed about our (lack of) families. > >> > >> > >> I am also giving thought to visiting the (Buddhist) meditation center I > >> like to frequent, I bet they will be open. And that is the kind of place,if > >> you have one nearby, that will welcome you with open arms for as many hours > >> as you want to spend there! > >> > >> I do attend a Buddhist meditation center for weekly practice, but it's > > small (we're in the Midwest -- Buddhists tend to be regarded as a cult, > > sigh) and it will probably not be open that day, although I will check on > > it as I could be surprised by that. I very much enjoy meditating there, > > it's a wonderfully peaceful place. > > > > -- Jen H. > > > > > >> > >> > >> > >> in this topichttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1/message/144114;_ylc=X3 oDMTM4ZGJiczQyBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BG 1zZ0lkAzE0NDExNgRzZWMDZnRyBHNsawN2dHBjBHN0aW1lAzEzNTMyNjIwNjkEdHBjSWQDMTQ0MT E0>(3) > >> Recent Activity: > >> > >> - New Membershttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1/members;_ylc=X3oDMTJ ma2txN2Q1BF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BHNlYwN 2dGwEc2xrA3ZtYnJzBHN0aW1lAzEzNTMyNjIwNjk-?o=6> > >> 15 > >> > >> Visit Your Grouphttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOAdultChildren1;_ylc=X3oDMTJlNmw5MGNrB F9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BHNlYwN2dGwEc2xrA 3ZnaHAEc3RpbWUDMTM1MzI2MjA2OQ--> > >> **This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new book The > >> Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tips and > >> Tools to Stop Walking on Eggshells, available at www.BPDCentral.com.** > >> Problems? Write @... DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST. > >> > >> To unsub from this list, send a blank email to > >> WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe > >> > >> Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a Borderline Parent, " and > >> " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (hard to find) > >> [image: Yahoo! Groups]http://groups.yahoo.com/;_ylc=X3oDMTJkcTY3bThhBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycE lkAzIzNDI3NDUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYxMjQ4BHNlYwNmdHIEc2xrA2dmcARzdGltZQMxMzUzMj YyMDY5> > >> Switch to: Text-OnlyWTOAdultChildren1-traditional ?subject=Change+Delivery+Format:+Traditional>, > >> Daily DigestWTOAdultChildren1-digest ?subject=Email+Delivery:+Digest>. > >> UnsubscribeWTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe ?subject=Unsubscribe>. Terms > >> of Use http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> . Send us Feedback > >> ygroupsnotifications ?subject=Feedback+on+the+redesigned+individual+mail+v1> > >> . > >> > >> > >> > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 > ** > > > Starbucks? My local Starbucks is open always but I live in NYC so I know > it is different elsewhere. > > I'm so sorry that it will be so hard to avoid Nada on Thanksgiving. That > is a really tough and invalidating situation you are in! I have a > considerably easier time avoiding Nada, which is something I'm now much > more acutely grateful for!!! > Ah HAH! I knew I was forgetting something! There is a Starbucks in town (it's not THAT small, thank God) and it looks like they will be open Thanksgiving Day, so even though it means driving across town it looks like that's where I'll be headed. Whew! Many thanks for the suggestion! (Something ELSE to be thankful for XD ) Yes, this kind of thing is why I was hoping to have my move made before Thanksgiving (the original plan I made in the spring), but I wasn't quite able to pull it off due to a variety of complicating factors. I'm determined to be out before Christmas though, as I happen to love Christmas too much to want to have yet another one spoiled by my Nada. (One year a while ago, she spend a couple hours screaming at me on Christmas because she didn't think I was " grateful enough " for the gifts because I " though they hadn't spent enough money on me. " I of course had thought no such thing, but Nada's convinced she's a mind-reader, like so many of them.) Anyway, thanks again for the tip! -- Jen H. (PS: Oh, I did try the " Google to see what's open " trick before I read this message, but the list was oriented toward retail shopping not coffeehouses so if Starbucks was on the list I missed it. I was contemplating going to my local Target since they have a little dining area with tables and chairs where I could sit and mess with my laptop or read, but I don't think they have wireless and I was worried about how many hours they'd be willing to let me just sit there, heh.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 Yay, many thanks that we have our friends on WTO to help with all sorts of Nada-created issues!! Glad we came up with something on this one! Keep us posted, I'm sure I speak for everyone on the board in saying we will be rootig for you to make it out before Christmas! > > > ** > > > > > > Starbucks? My local Starbucks is open always but I live in NYC so I know > > it is different elsewhere. > > > > I'm so sorry that it will be so hard to avoid Nada on Thanksgiving. That > > is a really tough and invalidating situation you are in! I have a > > considerably easier time avoiding Nada, which is something I'm now much > > more acutely grateful for!!! > > > > Ah HAH! I knew I was forgetting something! There is a Starbucks in town > (it's not THAT small, thank God) and it looks like they will be open > Thanksgiving Day, so even though it means driving across town it looks like > that's where I'll be headed. Whew! Many thanks for the suggestion! > (Something ELSE to be thankful for XD ) > > Yes, this kind of thing is why I was hoping to have my move made before > Thanksgiving (the original plan I made in the spring), but I wasn't quite > able to pull it off due to a variety of complicating factors. I'm > determined to be out before Christmas though, as I happen to love Christmas > too much to want to have yet another one spoiled by my Nada. (One year a > while ago, she spend a couple hours screaming at me on Christmas because > she didn't think I was " grateful enough " for the gifts because I " though > they hadn't spent enough money on me. " I of course had thought no such > thing, but Nada's convinced she's a mind-reader, like so many of them.) > > Anyway, thanks again for the tip! > > -- Jen H. > > (PS: Oh, I did try the " Google to see what's open " trick before I read this > message, but the list was oriented toward retail shopping not coffeehouses > so if Starbucks was on the list I missed it. I was contemplating going to > my local Target since they have a little dining area with tables and chairs > where I could sit and mess with my laptop or read, but I don't think they > have wireless and I was worried about how many hours they'd be willing to > let me just sit there, heh.) > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.