Nada and birth giving stories

[Guest guest]

Does anyone else's Nada tell martyr stories about giving birth to them?

My Nada at every family gathering talks about how difficult her labor with me

(and my brother) was. It's a general piece of her martyr complex. The story goes

on about how she suffered for sometimes 30 minutes or more at a time, everyone

mistreated her, she was in so much pain for 30 hours with pushing in active

labor (yeah right- it's not even possible!), we are so lucky she did this for

us, etc.

Meanwhile when my daughter was born 2 years ago the anesthesia didn't work and I

blacked out from the pain before I got a functioning epidural (not I think worse

than an average birth, I'm no martyr, I just got no empathy whatsoever from

jerkoff Nada). Nada then took her time to come to the hospital and stopped for a

sit down meal en route. I had been up for 36 hours straight in the birthing

process but still had to stay up and wait for Nada to finally make her

appearance and open the gifts she brought before I could rest after giving

birth.

Other than Nada's influence I think it was a totally normal birth and nothing to

complain about, just that she's so inconsiderate of anyone else and thinks she's

the biggest martyr around. If she were telling the story of the birth I gave it

would be 8 pages long about what a victim she is and how much of a jerk her

mother was for not being there for her and making her wait for her appearance

after being awake so long. But to Nada, I don't matter at all. She's still a

child in her head, not a mother much less a grandmother.

Anyone else's Nada make themselves into a martyr around giving birth to them?

[Guest guest]

I know two bpds who also do this.

> **

>

>

> Does anyone else's Nada tell martyr stories about giving birth to them?

>

> My Nada at every family gathering talks about how difficult her labor with

> me (and my brother) was. It's a general piece of her martyr complex. The

> story goes on about how she suffered for sometimes 30 minutes or more at a

> time, everyone mistreated her, she was in so much pain for 30 hours with

> pushing in active labor (yeah right- it's not even possible!), we are so

> lucky she did this for us, etc.

>

> Meanwhile when my daughter was born 2 years ago the anesthesia didn't work

> and I blacked out from the pain before I got a functioning epidural (not I

> think worse than an average birth, I'm no martyr, I just got no empathy

> whatsoever from jerkoff Nada). Nada then took her time to come to the

> hospital and stopped for a sit down meal en route. I had been up for 36

> hours straight in the birthing process but still had to stay up and wait

> for Nada to finally make her appearance and open the gifts she brought

> before I could rest after giving birth.

>

> Other than Nada's influence I think it was a totally normal birth and

> nothing to complain about, just that she's so inconsiderate of anyone else

> and thinks she's the biggest martyr around. If she were telling the story

> of the birth I gave it would be 8 pages long about what a victim she is and

> how much of a jerk her mother was for not being there for her and making

> her wait for her appearance after being awake so long. But to Nada, I don't

> matter at all. She's still a child in her head, not a mother much less a

> grandmother.

>

> Anyone else's Nada make themselves into a martyr around giving birth to

> them?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Mine does this as well!! I know all the details, down to even what she ate that

day!

>

> > **

> >

> >

> > Does anyone else's Nada tell martyr stories about giving birth to them?

> >

> > My Nada at every family gathering talks about how difficult her labor with

> > me (and my brother) was. It's a general piece of her martyr complex. The

> > story goes on about how she suffered for sometimes 30 minutes or more at a

> > time, everyone mistreated her, she was in so much pain for 30 hours with

> > pushing in active labor (yeah right- it's not even possible!), we are so

> > lucky she did this for us, etc.

> >

> > Meanwhile when my daughter was born 2 years ago the anesthesia didn't work

> > and I blacked out from the pain before I got a functioning epidural (not I

> > think worse than an average birth, I'm no martyr, I just got no empathy

> > whatsoever from jerkoff Nada). Nada then took her time to come to the

> > hospital and stopped for a sit down meal en route. I had been up for 36

> > hours straight in the birthing process but still had to stay up and wait

> > for Nada to finally make her appearance and open the gifts she brought

> > before I could rest after giving birth.

> >

> > Other than Nada's influence I think it was a totally normal birth and

> > nothing to complain about, just that she's so inconsiderate of anyone else

> > and thinks she's the biggest martyr around. If she were telling the story

> > of the birth I gave it would be 8 pages long about what a victim she is and

> > how much of a jerk her mother was for not being there for her and making

> > her wait for her appearance after being awake so long. But to Nada, I don't

> > matter at all. She's still a child in her head, not a mother much less a

> > grandmother.

> >

> > Anyone else's Nada make themselves into a martyr around giving birth to

> > them?

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Nada swore I pushed all of her ribs out of place and " ruined, utterly and

forever ruined " her body. NOthing was wrong with her ribs at all and for her age

she had a a very attractive shape.

Nada also said that her feet and leg became so swollen that they " cracked open

and bled " every time she walked out to get the mail. This story is discounted by

fada and the FOO.

MB

Does anyone else's Nada tell martyr stories about giving birth to them?

[Guest guest]

Nada told me she had to take the bus to the hospital to have me as nobody

would give her a ride. Wah, wah, wah...

She then told me as I was making me way from the womb to the world, the

nurse screamed at her to stop the process and then took my head and shoved

me back inside....for countless excruciating hours. I guess I owe her...

I was also told by nada that I was a twin...that she miscarried the other

baby and flushed her down the toilet. She has repeatedly told me she

flushed the wrong twin down the toilet.

Needless to say, there were no twins. Just another " Nada Tale " ...

[Guest guest]

The casual cruelty of nadas never ceases to amaze and shock me; they must truly

either not comprehend that children/other people *have feelings*, or they must

truly *want* to stick the knife in because they enjoy watching us writhe.

Either way, the cruelty is both shocking and tragic. Holy freaking cow.

-Annie

>

> Nada told me she had to take the bus to the hospital to have me as nobody

> would give her a ride. Wah, wah, wah...

>

> She then told me as I was making me way from the womb to the world, the

> nurse screamed at her to stop the process and then took my head and shoved

> me back inside....for countless excruciating hours. I guess I owe her...

>

> I was also told by nada that I was a twin...that she miscarried the other

> baby and flushed her down the toilet. She has repeatedly told me she

> flushed the wrong twin down the toilet.

> Needless to say, there were no twins. Just another " Nada Tale " ...

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Omg Janice, that is horrible!

_____

From: WTOAdultChildren1

[mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of anuria67854

Sent: November-27-12 11:55 PM

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Subject: Re: Nada and birth giving stories

The casual cruelty of nadas never ceases to amaze and shock me; they must

truly either not comprehend that children/other people *have feelings*, or

they must truly *want* to stick the knife in because they enjoy watching us

writhe. Either way, the cruelty is both shocking and tragic. Holy freaking

cow.

-Annie

>

> Nada told me she had to take the bus to the hospital to have me as nobody

> would give her a ride. Wah, wah, wah...

>

> She then told me as I was making me way from the womb to the world, the

> nurse screamed at her to stop the process and then took my head and shoved

> me back inside....for countless excruciating hours. I guess I owe her...

>

> I was also told by nada that I was a twin...that she miscarried the other

> baby and flushed her down the toilet. She has repeatedly told me she

> flushed the wrong twin down the toilet.

> Needless to say, there were no twins. Just another " Nada Tale " ...

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I'm trying not to smile at this nada birth story because I know as a child

hearing such things, it hurts. But as an adult, your nada's birth story sure

beats my nada's birth story. I'm impressed. My nada tells how she was in

" excruciating " labor for 3 days, her long hair tossed every which way. She said

she probably looked like a witch (snicker, snicker). Then she started bleeding

so the nurse put her in a hot shower and left her there with blood running down

her legs. Yeah, right. I don't think the medical community was that barbaric

back in 1952.

If we pooled our nada birth stories, imagine what a wonderful horror film it

would make. The sad part is they really believe this stuff.

>

> Nada told me she had to take the bus to the hospital to have me as nobody

> would give her a ride. Wah, wah, wah...

>

> She then told me as I was making me way from the womb to the world, the

> nurse screamed at her to stop the process and then took my head and shoved

> me back inside....for countless excruciating hours. I guess I owe her...

>

> I was also told by nada that I was a twin...that she miscarried the other

> baby and flushed her down the toilet. She has repeatedly told me she

> flushed the wrong twin down the toilet.

> Needless to say, there were no twins. Just another " Nada Tale " ...

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you all for validating that one. There's a couple of interesting themes

that seem to me to reoccur in the Nada birth stories:

martyrdom (that's the one what really triggers me, this need to be seen as a

self sacrificing hero when in reality she is the most immature, selfish person

I've ever met), but also you've all raised two other themes:

lack of nurturing/empathy (how do you think you would feel if someone told you

how awful it was to give you the gift of life? You can't even stand hearing that

dinner was a little burnt one time!)

and the invalidation of misremembering history, as half the stories they tell

about birth-giving aren't even possible! (this one for some reason doesn't

bother me that much, I internalized at a very early age that Nada suffered from

paranoid delusions and that nothing she said ever comported with reality, but I

know in particular my brother struggles with internalizing Nada's inaccurate

retelling of history, and I know a number of other members have voiced the same

struggles especially on this subject)

Very interesting. Thank you all again for your perspective,

> >

> > Nada told me she had to take the bus to the hospital to have me as nobody

> > would give her a ride. Wah, wah, wah...

> >

> > She then told me as I was making me way from the womb to the world, the

> > nurse screamed at her to stop the process and then took my head and shoved

> > me back inside....for countless excruciating hours. I guess I owe her...

> >

> > I was also told by nada that I was a twin...that she miscarried the other

> > baby and flushed her down the toilet. She has repeatedly told me she

> > flushed the wrong twin down the toilet.

> > Needless to say, there were no twins. Just another " Nada Tale " ...

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Amen to everything you had to say...

[Guest guest]

Oh dear, yes.

Not only that, but I would get detailed gyno reports of difficulties she

had both in my birth, the birth of my lucky younger sisters and brother,

who died at birth or within days after, and the type of thing that I

understand you women will freely discuss among yourselves, but that men

really don t want to hear, especially from their mothers, when they are

small boys or adolescents.

It did not matter that I would beg , and plead with her NOT to discuss

such thing with me, she would , as Nada s do, cloak herself in self

rightoeousness and say " I just think you ought to know whats going on

with your mother. "

I d like to go on the record as saying she was wrong.

I wanted so badly to say at times , if you had listened to your mom, and

kept your legs together in the back of the 52 Buick, none of that would

have happened, would it?

But I didnt.

Damn.

Doug

>

> Does anyone else's Nada tell martyr stories about giving birth to

them?

>

> My Nada at every family gathering talks about how difficult her labor

with me (and my brother) was. It's a general piece of her martyr

complex. The story goes on about how she suffered for sometimes 30

minutes or more at a time, everyone mistreated her, she was in so much

pain for 30 hours with pushing in active labor (yeah right- it's not

even possible!), we are so lucky she did this for us, etc.

>

> Meanwhile when my daughter was born 2 years ago the anesthesia didn't

work and I blacked out from the pain before I got a functioning epidural

(not I think worse than an average birth, I'm no martyr, I just got no

empathy whatsoever from jerkoff Nada). Nada then took her time to come

to the hospital and stopped for a sit down meal en route. I had been up

for 36 hours straight in the birthing process but still had to stay up

and wait for Nada to finally make her appearance and open the gifts she

brought before I could rest after giving birth.

>

> Other than Nada's influence I think it was a totally normal birth and

nothing to complain about, just that she's so inconsiderate of anyone

else and thinks she's the biggest martyr around. If she were telling the

story of the birth I gave it would be 8 pages long about what a victim

she is and how much of a jerk her mother was for not being there for her

and making her wait for her appearance after being awake so long. But to

Nada, I don't matter at all. She's still a child in her head, not a

mother much less a grandmother.

>

> Anyone else's Nada make themselves into a martyr around giving birth

to them?

>

[Guest guest]

In a similar vein, while watching family films where I was nursing from her

after birth, still at the hospital, my (well endowed) NADA paused her hand to

her breast saying, in the tone of someone who had just been robbed of precious

goods that were vital to HER, " she took all of my milk " ! She then seemed baffled

for the lack of outpouring of compassion in the room! " LOL "

In one of her manipulative, behind my back e-mails to my husband, she closed her

message saying " I love her, even though she doesn't love me " . The thought

" Yeah, right you've loved me since when I took all of your milk from you, like

thief " bounced right into my mind upon reading it.

C.

>

> Does anyone else's Nada tell martyr stories about giving birth to them?

>

> My Nada at every family gathering talks about how difficult her labor with me

(and my brother) was. It's a general piece of her martyr complex. The story goes

on about how she suffered for sometimes 30 minutes or more at a time, everyone

mistreated her, she was in so much pain for 30 hours with pushing in active

labor (yeah right- it's not even possible!), we are so lucky she did this for

us, etc.

>

> Meanwhile when my daughter was born 2 years ago the anesthesia didn't work and

I blacked out from the pain before I got a functioning epidural (not I think

worse than an average birth, I'm no martyr, I just got no empathy whatsoever

from jerkoff Nada). Nada then took her time to come to the hospital and stopped

for a sit down meal en route. I had been up for 36 hours straight in the

birthing process but still had to stay up and wait for Nada to finally make her

appearance and open the gifts she brought before I could rest after giving

birth.

>

> Other than Nada's influence I think it was a totally normal birth and nothing

to complain about, just that she's so inconsiderate of anyone else and thinks

she's the biggest martyr around. If she were telling the story of the birth I

gave it would be 8 pages long about what a victim she is and how much of a jerk

her mother was for not being there for her and making her wait for her

appearance after being awake so long. But to Nada, I don't matter at all. She's

still a child in her head, not a mother much less a grandmother.

>

> Anyone else's Nada make themselves into a martyr around giving birth to them?

>

[Guest guest]

What a victim! I hate that game! Good luck with this problem person. Hope

you can heal as well as possible.

On Tue, Dec 4, 2012 at 9:40 AM, cactusetpapillon Proferond@...>wrote:

> **

>

>

> In a similar vein, while watching family films where I was nursing from

> her after birth, still at the hospital, my (well endowed) NADA paused her

> hand to her breast saying, in the tone of someone who had just been robbed

> of precious goods that were vital to HER, " she took all of my milk " ! She

> then seemed baffled for the lack of outpouring of compassion in the room!

> " LOL "

>

> In one of her manipulative, behind my back e-mails to my husband, she

> closed her message saying " I love her, even though she doesn't love me " .

> The thought " Yeah, right you've loved me since when I took all of your milk

> from you, like thief " bounced right into my mind upon reading it.

>

> C.

>

>

> >

> > Does anyone else's Nada tell martyr stories about giving birth to them?

> >

> > My Nada at every family gathering talks about how difficult her labor

> with me (and my brother) was. It's a general piece of her martyr complex.

> The story goes on about how she suffered for sometimes 30 minutes or more

> at a time, everyone mistreated her, she was in so much pain for 30 hours

> with pushing in active labor (yeah right- it's not even possible!), we are

> so lucky she did this for us, etc.

> >

> > Meanwhile when my daughter was born 2 years ago the anesthesia didn't

> work and I blacked out from the pain before I got a functioning epidural

> (not I think worse than an average birth, I'm no martyr, I just got no

> empathy whatsoever from jerkoff Nada). Nada then took her time to come to

> the hospital and stopped for a sit down meal en route. I had been up for 36

> hours straight in the birthing process but still had to stay up and wait

> for Nada to finally make her appearance and open the gifts she brought

> before I could rest after giving birth.

> >

> > Other than Nada's influence I think it was a totally normal birth and

> nothing to complain about, just that she's so inconsiderate of anyone else

> and thinks she's the biggest martyr around. If she were telling the story

> of the birth I gave it would be 8 pages long about what a victim she is and

> how much of a jerk her mother was for not being there for her and making

> her wait for her appearance after being awake so long. But to Nada, I don't

> matter at all. She's still a child in her head, not a mother much less a

> grandmother.

> >

> > Anyone else's Nada make themselves into a martyr around giving birth to

> them?

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

A newborn helpless infant a thief? Geesh. Red flag right there...

My Nm resented me for being a girl, and for being a breech baby. Since I was

the firstborn, I ruined the birth plan and the doctor had to give her a

C-section. But it was great dramatic supply for stories. Of course, there are

more details and many colorful descriptions of her 'tough girl' attitude where

she barely felt the pain, etc. Right. I rushed her to hospital for her self

medicated fiascos when I was a teen, where a little pain was a family emergency.

I dunno. Something flipped somewhere-supermama in birth and limited tolerance a

decade later.

-Mel

> >

> > Does anyone else's Nada tell martyr stories about giving birth to them?

> >

> > My Nada at every family gathering talks about how difficult her labor with

me (and my brother) was. It's a general piece of her martyr complex. The story

goes on about how she suffered for sometimes 30 minutes or more at a time,

everyone mistreated her, she was in so much pain for 30 hours with pushing in

active labor (yeah right- it's not even possible!), we are so lucky she did this

for us, etc.

> >

> > Meanwhile when my daughter was born 2 years ago the anesthesia didn't work

and I blacked out from the pain before I got a functioning epidural (not I think

worse than an average birth, I'm no martyr, I just got no empathy whatsoever

from jerkoff Nada). Nada then took her time to come to the hospital and stopped

for a sit down meal en route. I had been up for 36 hours straight in the

birthing process but still had to stay up and wait for Nada to finally make her

appearance and open the gifts she brought before I could rest after giving

birth.

> >

> > Other than Nada's influence I think it was a totally normal birth and

nothing to complain about, just that she's so inconsiderate of anyone else and

thinks she's the biggest martyr around. If she were telling the story of the

birth I gave it would be 8 pages long about what a victim she is and how much of

a jerk her mother was for not being there for her and making her wait for her

appearance after being awake so long. But to Nada, I don't matter at all. She's

still a child in her head, not a mother much less a grandmother.

> >

> > Anyone else's Nada make themselves into a martyr around giving birth to

them?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Wow! Yes, my mother does this!

The thing is, I DID have a difficult birth (I actually have a scar on my face to

prove it and I know it's from birth because it's even in pictures where I was

just born), but yes my mom talks about it in every detail.

She also talks about stuff like how a bird that my parents had died the day I

was born. She says, " weird stuff happened the day you were born! "

She said I came out and I was sooooo angry. " Mad at the world " , and that my

birth has been as difficult as my life as been, whatever that means really....

>

> Does anyone else's Nada tell martyr stories about giving birth to them?

>

> My Nada at every family gathering talks about how difficult her labor with me

(and my brother) was. It's a general piece of her martyr complex. The story goes

on about how she suffered for sometimes 30 minutes or more at a time, everyone

mistreated her, she was in so much pain for 30 hours with pushing in active

labor (yeah right- it's not even possible!), we are so lucky she did this for

us, etc.

>

> Meanwhile when my daughter was born 2 years ago the anesthesia didn't work and

I blacked out from the pain before I got a functioning epidural (not I think

worse than an average birth, I'm no martyr, I just got no empathy whatsoever

from jerkoff Nada). Nada then took her time to come to the hospital and stopped

for a sit down meal en route. I had been up for 36 hours straight in the

birthing process but still had to stay up and wait for Nada to finally make her

appearance and open the gifts she brought before I could rest after giving

birth.

>

> Other than Nada's influence I think it was a totally normal birth and nothing

to complain about, just that she's so inconsiderate of anyone else and thinks

she's the biggest martyr around. If she were telling the story of the birth I

gave it would be 8 pages long about what a victim she is and how much of a jerk

her mother was for not being there for her and making her wait for her

appearance after being awake so long. But to Nada, I don't matter at all. She's

still a child in her head, not a mother much less a grandmother.

>

> Anyone else's Nada make themselves into a martyr around giving birth to them?

>

[Guest guest]

I have experienced the opposite. I have no details regarding my birth. I never

realized this until I had my own child, which was the best, most amazing

experience and I wrote down every detail to share with her when she is older.

After giving birth, my nada simply exclaimed " I don't know what took you so

long, I was never in labor more than a few hours (she had 4 children). She also

wondered, aloud, what my problem was after a miscarriage of what would have been

my first child a year earlier ... since she never had any problems with

pregnancy! The nerve of my body to be different from hers!

> >

> > Does anyone else's Nada tell martyr stories about giving birth to them?

> >

> > My Nada at every family gathering talks about how difficult her labor with

me (and my brother) was. It's a general piece of her martyr complex. The story

goes on about how she suffered for sometimes 30 minutes or more at a time,

everyone mistreated her, she was in so much pain for 30 hours with pushing in

active labor (yeah right- it's not even possible!), we are so lucky she did this

for us, etc.

> >

> > Meanwhile when my daughter was born 2 years ago the anesthesia didn't work

and I blacked out from the pain before I got a functioning epidural (not I think

worse than an average birth, I'm no martyr, I just got no empathy whatsoever

from jerkoff Nada). Nada then took her time to come to the hospital and stopped

for a sit down meal en route. I had been up for 36 hours straight in the

birthing process but still had to stay up and wait for Nada to finally make her

appearance and open the gifts she brought before I could rest after giving

birth.

> >

> > Other than Nada's influence I think it was a totally normal birth and

nothing to complain about, just that she's so inconsiderate of anyone else and

thinks she's the biggest martyr around. If she were telling the story of the

birth I gave it would be 8 pages long about what a victim she is and how much of

a jerk her mother was for not being there for her and making her wait for her

appearance after being awake so long. But to Nada, I don't matter at all. She's

still a child in her head, not a mother much less a grandmother.

> >

> > Anyone else's Nada make themselves into a martyr around giving birth to

them?

> >

>