Re: Nada trying to use Hurricane Sandy as reason to force me to share contact info

[Guest guest]

You could always just give her a bogus number and then claim the phones are all

not working.  Which of course none of them will be if we get what is predicated

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Monday, October 29, 2012 9:48 AM

Subject: Nada trying to use Hurricane Sandy as reason to

force me to share contact info

 

Hi All,

Just wondering if any of you relate to this and you feel about it. I've been

basically no-contact with my family for several months, except for a few brief

emails with my sis. However, in the midst of Hurricane Sandy, my Nada has

emailed me trying to say I should give her my contact info " in case of

emergency. " To me this is illogical and manipulative. I do not share my real

phone number or address with nada, because she has greatly abused that

information in the past. Secondly, I'm totally fine, fully independent, and

don't need nada's help with ANYTHING. Not to mention, she can do NOTHING to help

me as she lives halfway across the country from me! I have my support system in

my town, and the people in my home are fully prepared for the storm. It's sad

and frustrating that nada is trying to use this event as a way to pry

information from me. I'm just one of the millions of people who are prepared for

winds to potentially knock the power out for few

days. In my location, we're not talking about a life-threatening situation,

we're talking about staying home for a few days and if power goes out, we'll be

playing card games with the flashlights on and waiting until the local officials

say it's safe to come back out. It's just so silly - nada and I don't

communicate for months and now all of sudden she " needs " my phone number because

she won't be able to contact me via email for the next few days?! " Ridiculous.

I've been through at least 5 major hurricanes, 3 of them completely BY MYSELF,

and as long as you stay safe and prepared, it's not the end of the world. The

whole situation for me is just a big reminder of how she tries to pressure you

into a corner where you suppose to be made to feel guilty for not giving her

what she wants. Plus it gives her and excuse to go lament to folks in her town

" Oh woe is me, my daughter didn't even give me her phone number during the

storm. " UGh!

[Guest guest]

I think you are right, your nada is using this as an opportunity to get your

address and phone number from you. Its sad when we are forced to go totally No

Contact in order to protect ourselves, but sometimes a parent is so abusive that

we must make this choice.

I would ignore the request, if it feels like a manipulative ploy to you. You

are right, if the electricity and telephone lines are down, there's no way to

communicate with each other, anyway. Do cel phones still work in such cases, if

they're charged up? I don't know. I think the Red Cross provides a means of

letting family members know who is injured or missing; perhaps check with the

Red Cross about that.

Best of luck you you in weathering this awful oncoming super-storm.

-Annie

>

> Hi All,

>

> Just wondering if any of you relate to this and you feel about it. I've been

basically no-contact with my family for several months, except for a few brief

emails with my sis. However, in the midst of Hurricane Sandy, my Nada has

emailed me trying to say I should give her my contact info " in case of

emergency. " To me this is illogical and manipulative. I do not share my real

phone number or address with nada, because she has greatly abused that

information in the past. Secondly, I'm totally fine, fully independent, and

don't need nada's help with ANYTHING. Not to mention, she can do NOTHING to help

me as she lives halfway across the country from me! I have my support system in

my town, and the people in my home are fully prepared for the storm. It's sad

and frustrating that nada is trying to use this event as a way to pry

information from me. I'm just one of the millions of people who are prepared for

winds to potentially knock the power out for few days. In my location, we're not

talking about a life-threatening situation, we're talking about staying home for

a few days and if power goes out, we'll be playing card games with the

flashlights on and waiting until the local officials say it's safe to come back

out. It's just so silly - nada and I don't communicate for months and now all of

sudden she " needs " my phone number because she won't be able to contact me via

email for the next few days?! " Ridiculous. I've been through at least 5 major

hurricanes, 3 of them completely BY MYSELF, and as long as you stay safe and

prepared, it's not the end of the world. The whole situation for me is just a

big reminder of how she tries to pressure you into a corner where you suppose to

be made to feel guilty for not giving her what she wants. Plus it gives her and

excuse to go lament to folks in her town " Oh woe is me, my daughter didn't even

give me her phone number during the storm. " UGh!

>

[Guest guest]

I agree with Annie-you should follow your instincts. After the storm, when

things have settled, she will be armed with this new info. on you, and that is

powerful access to get at you whether there is an 'emergency' or not.

You mentioned you have a support system right there- I would go with who you

feel you would be safest going to and most reliable in an emergency situation.

If that isn't your mom, then you would be giving precious information away out

of something other than necessity. She seems more a risk than a person to fall

back on. Just my 2 cents-M

> >

> > Hi All,

> >

> > Just wondering if any of you relate to this and you feel about it. I've been

basically no-contact with my family for several months, except for a few brief

emails with my sis. However, in the midst of Hurricane Sandy, my Nada has

emailed me trying to say I should give her my contact info " in case of

emergency. " To me this is illogical and manipulative. I do not share my real

phone number or address with nada, because she has greatly abused that

information in the past. Secondly, I'm totally fine, fully independent, and

don't need nada's help with ANYTHING. Not to mention, she can do NOTHING to help

me as she lives halfway across the country from me! I have my support system in

my town, and the people in my home are fully prepared for the storm. It's sad

and frustrating that nada is trying to use this event as a way to pry

information from me. I'm just one of the millions of people who are prepared for

winds to potentially knock the power out for few days. In my location, we're not

talking about a life-threatening situation, we're talking about staying home for

a few days and if power goes out, we'll be playing card games with the

flashlights on and waiting until the local officials say it's safe to come back

out. It's just so silly - nada and I don't communicate for months and now all of

sudden she " needs " my phone number because she won't be able to contact me via

email for the next few days?! " Ridiculous. I've been through at least 5 major

hurricanes, 3 of them completely BY MYSELF, and as long as you stay safe and

prepared, it's not the end of the world. The whole situation for me is just a

big reminder of how she tries to pressure you into a corner where you suppose to

be made to feel guilty for not giving her what she wants. Plus it gives her and

excuse to go lament to folks in her town " Oh woe is me, my daughter didn't even

give me her phone number during the storm. " UGh!

> >

>

[Guest guest]

You don't even have to justify it to yourself. Even if you were going to be in

danger during the storm, if you have chosen to go no-contact, that is what you

have chosen, and you have chosen what that entails, even if it means they do not

find out right away if something happens to you during the storm.

You are right that your nada was just using this as an excuse. Mine tries to do

the same all the time, when really, like you said, there is nothing she could do

in an emergency.

>

> Hi All,

>

> Just wondering if any of you relate to this and you feel about it. I've been

basically no-contact with my family for several months, except for a few brief

emails with my sis. However, in the midst of Hurricane Sandy, my Nada has

emailed me trying to say I should give her my contact info " in case of

emergency. " To me this is illogical and manipulative. I do not share my real

phone number or address with nada, because she has greatly abused that

information in the past. Secondly, I'm totally fine, fully independent, and

don't need nada's help with ANYTHING. Not to mention, she can do NOTHING to help

me as she lives halfway across the country from me! I have my support system in

my town, and the people in my home are fully prepared for the storm. It's sad

and frustrating that nada is trying to use this event as a way to pry

information from me. I'm just one of the millions of people who are prepared for

winds to potentially knock the power out for few days. In my location, we're not

talking about a life-threatening situation, we're talking about staying home for

a few days and if power goes out, we'll be playing card games with the

flashlights on and waiting until the local officials say it's safe to come back

out. It's just so silly - nada and I don't communicate for months and now all of

sudden she " needs " my phone number because she won't be able to contact me via

email for the next few days?! " Ridiculous. I've been through at least 5 major

hurricanes, 3 of them completely BY MYSELF, and as long as you stay safe and

prepared, it's not the end of the world. The whole situation for me is just a

big reminder of how she tries to pressure you into a corner where you suppose to

be made to feel guilty for not giving her what she wants. Plus it gives her and

excuse to go lament to folks in her town " Oh woe is me, my daughter didn't even

give me her phone number during the storm. " UGh!

>

[Guest guest]

This is another reminder of how irrational a nada can be, and also how they will

not STOP, no matter what. Which, of course, is why many of us are NC or LC. arg.

> >

> > Hi All,

> >

> > Just wondering if any of you relate to this and you feel about it. I've been

basically no-contact with my family for several months, except for a few brief

emails with my sis. However, in the midst of Hurricane Sandy, my Nada has

emailed me trying to say I should give her my contact info " in case of

emergency. " To me this is illogical and manipulative. I do not share my real

phone number or address with nada, because she has greatly abused that

information in the past. Secondly, I'm totally fine, fully independent, and

don't need nada's help with ANYTHING. Not to mention, she can do NOTHING to help

me as she lives halfway across the country from me! I have my support system in

my town, and the people in my home are fully prepared for the storm. It's sad

and frustrating that nada is trying to use this event as a way to pry

information from me. I'm just one of the millions of people who are prepared for

winds to potentially knock the power out for few days. In my location, we're not

talking about a life-threatening situation, we're talking about staying home for

a few days and if power goes out, we'll be playing card games with the

flashlights on and waiting until the local officials say it's safe to come back

out. It's just so silly - nada and I don't communicate for months and now all of

sudden she " needs " my phone number because she won't be able to contact me via

email for the next few days?! " Ridiculous. I've been through at least 5 major

hurricanes, 3 of them completely BY MYSELF, and as long as you stay safe and

prepared, it's not the end of the world. The whole situation for me is just a

big reminder of how she tries to pressure you into a corner where you suppose to

be made to feel guilty for not giving her what she wants. Plus it gives her and

excuse to go lament to folks in her town " Oh woe is me, my daughter didn't even

give me her phone number during the storm. " UGh!

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Elana,

This attempt by your nada is completely consistent with the behaviors I've known

of nadas over the years (including my own 10 years of study and about 8 years on

this board!) It might be useful to think of it as an addiction or compulsion.

An addict will steal, lie, cheat, use whatever means at their disposal to get

the 'drug'. Nada's 'drug' is manipulation of their children--trying to force

their will on any given situation. This is why there are countless reports of

nadas trying to 'use' funerals, weddings, births, their own illnesses, their

childrens' illnesses--and, yes, hurricanes too! They try to use them to get

whatever they want from the KO, be it contact if there's no contact, attention,

the need to project something they fear is 'bad' in themselves--the list goes

on. My nada most recently attempted to use an uncle's death in attempt to force

me out of no contact. (It didn't work.) If you can comprehend borderlines as

the emotional predators of the human species, and then think of them as having

compulsions or addictions to 'forcing' their childrens' actions at vulnerable

times, the patterns start to become visible.

--Charlie

>

> Hi All,

>

> Just wondering if any of you relate to this and you feel about it. I've been

basically no-contact with my family for several months, except for a few brief

emails with my sis. However, in the midst of Hurricane Sandy, my Nada has

emailed me trying to say I should give her my contact info " in case of

emergency. " To me this is illogical and manipulative. I do not share my real

phone number or address with nada, because she has greatly abused that

information in the past. Secondly, I'm totally fine, fully independent, and

don't need nada's help with ANYTHING. Not to mention, she can do NOTHING to help

me as she lives halfway across the country from me! I have my support system in

my town, and the people in my home are fully prepared for the storm. It's sad

and frustrating that nada is trying to use this event as a way to pry

information from me. I'm just one of the millions of people who are prepared for

winds to potentially knock the power out for few days. In my location, we're not

talking about a life-threatening situation, we're talking about staying home for

a few days and if power goes out, we'll be playing card games with the

flashlights on and waiting until the local officials say it's safe to come back

out. It's just so silly - nada and I don't communicate for months and now all of

sudden she " needs " my phone number because she won't be able to contact me via

email for the next few days?! " Ridiculous. I've been through at least 5 major

hurricanes, 3 of them completely BY MYSELF, and as long as you stay safe and

prepared, it's not the end of the world. The whole situation for me is just a

big reminder of how she tries to pressure you into a corner where you suppose to

be made to feel guilty for not giving her what she wants. Plus it gives her and

excuse to go lament to folks in her town " Oh woe is me, my daughter didn't even

give me her phone number during the storm. " UGh!

>