anyone spending the holidays alone?

[Guest guest]

We are this year. It's hard.

[Guest guest]

Same. Better alone than in bad company, tho, no?

fortyblu3 pthonney@...> wrote:

>We are this year. It's hard.

>

[Guest guest]

Here with hubby and we too are not seeing either FOO. I realize that so much of

what bothers me is what is built up in my mind. When I was " Good " in nada's mind

(ages 3 to about 9) I was given every toy I wanted (and a few more) then

expected to obey and stay out of her way. In my teen years, while mother was

married to an atheist, Christmas was forbidden in our house and I was pure evil

for suggesting that I wanted such a holiday or desired a gift.

Hubby's family is scattered across the county now. I won't miss the " strong

willed " older in-laws. I won't miss the niece who refuses to care for her own

daughter or the gangbanger " boyfriends " that she drags in and out of the house

at all hours of the day and night to loudly party with and " entertain " in her

bedroom. We are literally afraid for our physical safety there. I won't miss the

younger sister's unending divorce from the drug addict she enabled for years. I

won't miss the house being in the 50's all the time because no one could be

troubled to deal with the non functioning furnace. I won't miss the demands that

we show up from 2 and a half hours away with a fully cooked ham large enough to

feed 25 or that no one eat ANYTHING until eldest sister-in-laws skimpy gourmet

meal is served (and you damn well best eat and rave of all Hell will break

loose.) We used toeat a huge breakfast before hand and then plead running out

for ice, walking on doctor's orders, or buying school shoes for one of the

nieces or nephew so that we could go out and feed the children after 5-6 hours

with no food or water allowed. That we all walked on eggshells to keep the peace

was pure insanity.

So tomorrow I'll cook a nice ham, some veggies, and biscuits. We'll hold off on

gifts until we go to the Napa Valley on the 27th for a little get away. I'll

surf about on the computer and watch some television if I get moody. I'm lucky

to have a good husband and lucky to be away from mental illness and addiction.

That's enough this year. It's not NOrman Rockwell but it beats the physical and

mental beatings of Christmas' past.

Beth

anyone spending the holidays alone?

We are this year. It's hard.

[Guest guest]

Absolutely. It's at least healthy and safe here, no threats to self-esteem, no

cloaked attacks under a veneer of caring.

it would be nice to have friends to spend the day with, but we're in a dry spell

with friends, and anyway, aren't most normal people having a healthy family get

together?

my family are far away, and his family nearby is the family we're NC with. i've

spent holidays with other families and it makes me feel like a charity case to

be intruding on another family's traditions. It's awkward and I prefer to be

here alone and just make a good meal and watch a movie.

We're not even exchanging presents as gift-giving is so loaded with negative

baggage that it's preferable to avoid that. focusing on good food, which is

always good for endorphins.

I think we're conflicted as to whether the holidays are something to even

celebrate or not.

>

> >We are this year. It's hard.

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[Guest guest]

I'm fortunate as I'm spending it alone by choice, have been invited to friends

but find a pj day with good food and dvds (in this case all five seasons of Big

Bang Theory) make for a wonderfully relaxing day

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Tuesday, December 25, 2012 2:41 PM

Subject: Re: anyone spending the holidays alone?

 

Absolutely. It's at least healthy and safe here, no threats to self-esteem, no

cloaked attacks under a veneer of caring.

it would be nice to have friends to spend the day with, but we're in a dry spell

with friends, and anyway, aren't most normal people having a healthy family get

together?

my family are far away, and his family nearby is the family we're NC with. i've

spent holidays with other families and it makes me feel like a charity case to

be intruding on another family's traditions. It's awkward and I prefer to be

here alone and just make a good meal and watch a movie.

We're not even exchanging presents as gift-giving is so loaded with negative

baggage that it's preferable to avoid that. focusing on good food, which is

always good for endorphins.

I think we're conflicted as to whether the holidays are something to even

celebrate or not.

>

> >We are this year. It's hard.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

For the first time in 27 years I didn't spend Christmas with my Family. I

decided in August that I was not going home for Christmas after the hellish

Christmas the year before. It was the best decision I ever made. It was sad

not to be with my family but at the same time I had a wonderful stress free

holiday and I was able to spend it with friends.

You're not the only one. There are so many people out there. Hopefully you all

had a wonderful holiday and enjoyed yourself!

> >

> > >We are this year. It's hard.

> > >

> >

>

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[Guest guest]

Hi Ponnie and Everyone,

I spent Xmas eve at a church meetup group party for those experiencing the end

of a relationship (in my case, widowhood, but the others were divorced)...Then I

went to Xmas Eve Vigil Mass at my other church (which was just down the

street....didn't even have to re-park my car!)....Then on Xmas day, I went to a

wonderful morning Bikram Yoga class...there were lots of people....So, I wasn't

'alone'.....And, I wasn't with nada, who I haven't seen in more than 14

years....

Nada did get very guilt-invoking and whiny on the phone....I thought that she

was going to go off the deep end...She would have, if I were physically with

her....She expressed anger at my wanting to possibly date and have a life. She

is so sick and needy....The ultimate waif / witch.....

Xmas afternoon got weird b/c there was nowhere to go....So, early in the

evening, I took a sleeping pill and had a great night's sleep!

It's still pretty weird b/c there's not much to do.....

But I think that it's joyful to spend the holidays doing things that you enjoy

and not having to eat a lot of crappy food!

-

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Thursday, December 27, 2012 10:46 AM

Subject: Re: anyone spending the holidays alone?

 

For the first time in 27 years I didn't spend Christmas with my Family. I

decided in August that I was not going home for Christmas after the hellish

Christmas the year before. It was the best decision I ever made. It was sad

not to be with my family but at the same time I had a wonderful stress free

holiday and I was able to spend it with friends.

You're not the only one. There are so many people out there. Hopefully you all

had a wonderful holiday and enjoyed yourself!

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> > >We are this year. It's hard.

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