You Meet Nasties Everywhere!

[Guest guest]

I just had to share this with the group, because I keep shaking my head and

thinking, geez, you meet nasties everywhere!

Many of you know that my borderline mom is in a nursing home with severe

dementia. I did not visit her on Christmas because she doesn't know if it's the

actual day or not when I come. She gets confused as to whether I'm her mother or

her daughter and one fairly recent visit I don't think she knew we were even

related - dementia really waxes and wanes. (It's not Alzheimer's, just senile

dementia exacerbated by a bpd suicide overdose.)

Anyway, we are sitting there in her room, where I had woken her from a nap, as

she sleeps a lot, and we had been opening presents, and eating chocolate covered

cherries which she loves, and a woman walked in with a little dog.

She was visiting one of my mom's roommates, a really obnoxious woman who hasn't

been there for very long, who wails for the nurses the entire time I am there

but appears to be faking a lot of it. Just before the woman came she had been

faking being unable to handle her styrofoam cup of water with a lid and straw

that all the residents have by their beds, The faking, wailing resident had

THROWN it on the floor. I knew this because I heard it through the room divider

curtains - and then the aide came in and said: Why did you throw that on the

floor? And started chastising her (nicely) in such a way that I realized this

was a regular occurrence. Anyway, my point is the mother is nuts.

So the visitor with the dog, who it seems is the woman's daughter, and is in her

60s or older, looks at me after I say: " Oh, what a cute little dog! " and says in

a cold, nasty voice with an evil look:

" I see you are opening presents. Good. She was crying yesterday because NOBODY

CAME. "

Uh. I am polite and didn't give her the finger.

Really bitch? Like, you were there from dawn to dusk? Was she really crying? I

doubt it and if she was it's because she cries all the time (they have her on

meds for this - SHE " S GOT BPD!)

I was flabbergasted that someone would say something like that. I am young and

look younger than my age, and could easily be a nurse, firefighter, police

officer or have another job that required me to work all day Christmas. I could

have just flown in from California or Alaska or Paris to visit her. Mind you, I

have NEVER laid eyes on this woman before and she knows NOTHING about our

situation. And HOW is this her business anyway?

Anyhoo, please believe me when I tell you this didn't upset me. It just blew my

mind that someone would be such a buttinsky and say something so uncalled for

and, well just nasty - I am at a loss for another word. The one thing I can't

get past is that I keep encountering MEAN PEOPLE everywhere! WTF? LOL.

Em

[Guest guest]

My Mother-in-law had a wonderful name for such people - I think it's

German. " Trompel " it refers to someone who has all of the presence,

demeanor, and social graces of a self-righteous cow. And yes, they are

mean and stupid. The next time you encounter this silly bitch, just think

of her with a bell around her neck, and great moooooooos bellowing out of

her mouth as she speaks.

One of my favorite tactics with such people, is to ask them, very

sweetly, to repeat what they have just said. " I'm sorry, I didn't quite

hear you, would you repeat that? " They don't like to do it, since they feel

their initial barbed statement looses its punch when repeated. Doing this

once or twice is usually enough to shut them down.

I'm really sorry you are having to face this added crap at a time when your

plate is already full.

You might also put her on notice, by asking her if her dog has all of its

shots, is it trained for nursing-home visits, and remind her that some

people are allergic to dogs, and you are concerned about the impact this

may have on your moms health. Allergies run in your family, and then sneeze

to prove your point. She should get the message, and back off.

Poor little dog! I'd hate to have to live with a mad cow! (living with a

werewolf was bad enough!)

'

Sunspot

> **

>

>

> I just had to share this with the group, because I keep shaking my head

> and thinking, geez, you meet nasties everywhere!

>

> Many of you know that my borderline mom is in a nursing home with severe

> dementia. I did not visit her on Christmas because she doesn't know if it's

> the actual day or not when I come. She gets confused as to whether I'm her

> mother or her daughter and one fairly recent visit I don't think she knew

> we were even related - dementia really waxes and wanes. (It's not

> Alzheimer's, just senile dementia exacerbated by a bpd suicide overdose.)

>

> Anyway, we are sitting there in her room, where I had woken her from a

> nap, as she sleeps a lot, and we had been opening presents, and eating

> chocolate covered cherries which she loves, and a woman walked in with a

> little dog.

>

> She was visiting one of my mom's roommates, a really obnoxious woman who

> hasn't been there for very long, who wails for the nurses the entire time I

> am there but appears to be faking a lot of it. Just before the woman came

> she had been faking being unable to handle her styrofoam cup of water with

> a lid and straw that all the residents have by their beds, The faking,

> wailing resident had THROWN it on the floor. I knew this because I heard it

> through the room divider curtains - and then the aide came in and said: Why

> did you throw that on the floor? And started chastising her (nicely) in

> such a way that I realized this was a regular occurrence. Anyway, my point

> is the mother is nuts.

>

> So the visitor with the dog, who it seems is the woman's daughter, and is

> in her 60s or older, looks at me after I say: " Oh, what a cute little dog! "

> and says in a cold, nasty voice with an evil look:

>

> " I see you are opening presents. Good. She was crying yesterday because

> NOBODY CAME. "

>

> Uh. I am polite and didn't give her the finger.

>

> Really bitch? Like, you were there from dawn to dusk? Was she really

> crying? I doubt it and if she was it's because she cries all the time (they

> have her on meds for this - SHE " S GOT BPD!)

>

> I was flabbergasted that someone would say something like that. I am young

> and look younger than my age, and could easily be a nurse, firefighter,

> police officer or have another job that required me to work all day

> Christmas. I could have just flown in from California or Alaska or Paris to

> visit her. Mind you, I have NEVER laid eyes on this woman before and she

> knows NOTHING about our situation. And HOW is this her business anyway?

>

> Anyhoo, please believe me when I tell you this didn't upset me. It just

> blew my mind that someone would be such a buttinsky and say something so

> uncalled for and, well just nasty - I am at a loss for another word. The

> one thing I can't get past is that I keep encountering MEAN PEOPLE

> everywhere! WTF? LOL.

>

> Em

>

>

>