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Thanks ,

This kind of came up out of nowhere but I'm definitely on the mend and already chafing at the doctors restrictions.

If I'm really honest with myself I know that I've been doing a little too much and have been stressed. Looking after my friends mom those three days a week. It's really such a small thing. 3 days a week for 4 or 5 hours, fix her a meal, make sure she's had her meds, take her out to get her hair done when I can talk her into it and occasionally take her to a doctor appointment. Doesn't sound exhausting does it? But I get home from there and pass out in my recliner completely spent. It may be a matter of mental strain, she does have dementia and and keeping her grounded in the here and now is a constant task. She's also becoming less and less steady on her feet and more short of breath even slowly walking around her own home. Fortunately her children are finally starting to see what I've been trying to tell them for months. Mom cannot live alone anymore. It's just not safe. She put a stainless saucepan in the microwave last week one day. I was in the

bathroom for 2 minutes and by the time I came back there were blue sparks shooting around the inside of the microwave and she's blithely watching something on MTV. (Don't ask, it wasn't my idea. She insisted it was her favorite show....sigh) She also took double doses of all her meds one day last week because she couldn't remember that her daughter had been there earlier and she had already taken them. There are more stories but it all amounts to the same thing. She needs to be supervised. Her daughters are taking her today to look at a place called Spring Arbor that's closeby. Hopefully this can all transpire quickly, for the sake of her safety. I will miss the income from this 'job' but I won't miss the strain. My sister reminded me today that I was approved for disability for a reason. "You're disabled Beth" she informed me. Shocking! I despise thinking of myself that way. I hate not being able to work. After over

two years you'd think I'd have gotten over it by now. There must be a little Taurus in me (though I'm a cancer) cause I can be STUBBORN. LOL

Anyway, I've rambled here. Hope I haven't bored you all to tears. Thanks to all of you for being my friends!

Beth

Age 49 Fibrotic NSIP 06/06 UCTD 07/08

Change everything. Love and Forgive

MB

I am so sorry you got sick, I know how disappointed you are . I was so angry when I couldn't go to Chattanooga. Take care of yourself. ipf 2/07IL

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MB ... you really struck a cord with me when you wrote, "I hate not being able to work". I was that way for such a long time and I learned for me that my self-esteem and self-worth were all tied up with "what I did".

It's been a hard adjustment for me too.

But strangely, not that my disability keeps me from doing much at all, it seems to be ok. Maybe I've finally adjusted, or I simply don't have the energy to fight it any more.

I'm so glad I no longer have to go to a job. I couldn't do it any longer...

MamaSher, age 70. IPF 3-06, OR. NasturtiumsDon't fret about tomorrow, God is already there!

MB

I am so sorry you got sick, I know how disappointed you are . I was so angry when I couldn't go to Chattanooga. Take care of yourself. ipf 2/07IL

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Bruce ... once again, for me at least, you have spoken words as though I dictated them. We may write differently but you spoke as though you are writing about me.

I hated it when I had to give up volunteering...something I have done with great gusto for 25 years. The commitment

and just a few hours a month soon became a drain and the energy of simply "thinking and tracking and follow-thru and planning and just the doing" became more than I could continue. You read my beads friend!

Emotional stuff puts me down so fast I hardly remember being up. I get silent, my breathing becomes depressed, on and on. I simply cannot cope any longer with the heavy emotional stuff... my granddaughter, Ashly recently had an abortion and we are numb with grief. We are sooooo anti-abortion. She told me she was going to adopt the baby out but then, had the abortion anyway.

The waves of her choice filter through the whole family but I notice it in my breathing...

Thanks for speaking for me too Bruce, as you do often .

"MamaSher, age 70. IPF 3-06, OR. NasturtiumsDon't fret about tomorrow, God is already there!

MB>>> I am so sorry you got sick, I know how disappointed you are . I was soangry when I couldn't go to Chattanooga. Take care of yourself.> ipf 2/07IL>>> Age 49 Fibrotic NSIP 06/06 UCTD 07/08>> Change everything. Love and Forgive>

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