Re: Re: Hello, I'm new to your group.

[Guest guest]

Dear Sharon,

Wow, what a powerful, meaningful e-mail, I don't know if you helped

.(don't know how you could not have) You have 110% helped me.

Thank you for that. I am facing surgery on Nov. 20th for invasive ductal

breast cancer after being diagnosed on Oct. 20th at 4:10 p.m.. That is the day

my world fell apart.

A lot of people under the age of 60ty, look at us at old. I am 63 and don't

feel " old " . I still have alot I want to accomplish in my life and I want to be

able to see my grandchildren grow up. After raising 4 wonderful sons I now have

6 wonderful granddaughters and 1 little grandson. All 6 yrs. and under.

I have a wonderful husband who had non invasive bladder cancer in '88 and has

been cancer free since then.

I don't know much about this as I am new too this but it sounds like you have

had good results from your surgery.

I don't know what a Oncotype dx test is and why or if your tumor is in the

grey area.

You have been so inspirational tome and I want to thank you for that.

Dee

Sharon M Fravel wrote:

Hi -

I found the lump 2nd to last week of August 2006, after mamo, ultrasound and

biopsy. On September 12, 2006 at 11:30 am I got the news. My main thing is

wanting to go back to the time - the afternoon before I found the lump, when

the biggest decision on my mind was coming up with a really good reason to

justify a $675 purse. My world was blown apart at that moment in the parking

garage at work - I fell to my knees and cried like a baby, called my husband

hyperventilating, called my Dad then my best friend - then I went to my PCP

to tell me what the heck the report actually said since after the word

positive I had no clue. I spent the next two days weeping uncontrollably -

from self pity to " to hell with this " . I have been through an emotional and

spiritual wringer in the past 7 weeks (gosh is that all it has been??) - I

have been poked and prodded by every person I have met. My surgery was

successful (lumpectomy) with negative SLN, clear good sized margins, pr/er

+, her2- - grade/stage 1 tumor. We have decided, based on research and

studies and convos with docs that we will be skipping chemo (being told that

they are basing the need for chemo on 5 mm (my tumor was 1.5 cm). My

insurance has agreed to pay for the Oncotype dx test, however, it took 3

weeks to get an appt with an oncologist (surgery was 10/3, appt was 10/19)

they put in the request for the test on 10/23 - it has been approved as of

today. They will tell the docs office tomorrow, who then will finally order

it beginning of next week - it takes two weeks - so the results should be

back about a week after my 5 week window for optimum radiation. So I had to

make this decision without the results of the test - why it is not done

AUTOMATICALLY for women/men whose tumors are in the grey area is a wonder to

me - but that is all in the past. I will be switching Oncologists in January

when my new insurance takes over - the person I go to now refuses to speak

to me if my husband is in the room - I understand it is a culture thing for

him, but it is outrageously disrespectful in my culture. My DH agrees 100%.

So, in a nutshell - I have had every single emotion, breakdown, lightbulb

moment, pissed off, enraged, calm, peaceful, loving, caring, holy crap these

people do care for me, scared to death moment you can imagine in 7 weeks

time. I will go through the radiation being poked and prodded again, I will

go through my 5 year battle with tamoxafin. I will come to terms with not

being able to have children, I will accept that I will never be cured, but

will be a survivor, I will wear that badge of the club no one wants to join

proudly and will tell everyone about self exams and mammograms for the

younger generation, I will learn to love my en-boob, I will learn to

love myself as much as my husband loves me and I will go on with my life to

the fullest extent - but I will never ever get over the looks of sadness and

pity coming from the eyes of the sweet older folks at the cancer centers -

that I will never ever learn to live with. I was not too young to get breast

cancer - cancer knows no age - I was not too self confident to get breast

cancer - cancer knows no beauty - I was not the invincible person I always

believed I would be - cancer knows no boundaries.

Hope that this helps you

Sharon in Vegas