Re: Communication

May 1, 2006

In a message dated 5/1/2006 1:53:17 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

lalvarez1022@... writes:

Sooooo I had a question for all parents..... How do you communicate with

your child? Is sign language very very important?

Don't feel stupid about signing or not signing. The choice for communication

style is what suits your child and your family's needs, not what the rest of

the world think is " right. " You make that choice based on what works for

your family.

Our son is the only D/HOH member in it on either side of our family --

unless we count his grandmother who got her aids at 78. We are an oral because

we

are hearing and have had no opportunity or reason to learn sign. The only

sign I knew was from 3rd grade when we use to finger spell across the classroom

under our desks, thinking we were so smart and " talking " without the teacher

knowing. (She knew and figured it was good spelling practice for us.) I

didn't even remember most of the letters.

So, we talk. Our primary mode of communication is verbal. We make sure we

face Ian, we repeat as needed, and are very conscious of places where it is hard

to hear. Ian's services at school are orally based, all supports are to

support him in an oral fashion. No interpreters -- he doesn't sign well enough

to

be instructed using ASL.

His loss was found when he was 7 and he was/is so verbal that no one

suspected a hearing loss, including several very good doctors who were seeing

him

for other reasons. He lip read his way through his first booth test (stupid

doctor!!) so this kid had been developing lip reading skills for quite a while.

He's really good at it and he speaks as clearly as any hearing person. He had

us all fooled.

When I found out about his hearing loss, I quickly found the online

dictionaries and started to sign to him. He HATED it. He wanted to hear, not to

sign.

I stopped because signing made him very sad and sometimes angry. The only

time I used sign was at the pool or beach. After a while -- several years, he

became more receptive about signing. He started to sign with me a little so I

went back online and taught myself more signs. Ian expressed interest in

learning ASL instead of our pidgen signing of ASL signs in English-word-order

as

we spoke.

So, after a long process, I found us a tutor and we're now learning ASL.

It's been a little over a year and my new challenge is finding people around

here to sign with. There's not much in the way of an organized Deaf population.

Besides, being as oral as we are, we're not always warmly welcomed.

Signing can be as important or unimportant as you choose for it to be. Is

signing important for our family? Depends on how you interpret " important. " On

a day-to-day living basis: no, it is not at all necessary or important. We

can easily live without it and life is just fine. But we are choosing to learn

because our son wants to learn. ASL and signing are becoming part of who he

is, so we are choosing to support that.

My husband and I rarely ever sign with each other. My daughter signs in

stores and noisy places where we don't want to yell over the crowd, or in

museums

or church where talking is rude. Ian and I sign all the time.

But as a family, we have to work to remember to use our signing. Talking is

so much easier and quicker for us. Locally, we have almost no one to sign

with except each other. But Ian wants to learn. He likes to be able to " talk "

without working so hard at listening. Sometimes in public, he gets shy and

refuses to sign with me. Other times he gets impatient when I answer him

orally.

Signing is becoming more a part of what we do, but it is also something we

could easily do without. Someday perhaps we will need to sign, but for now, it

is something we choose to do.

Best -- Jill

May 1, 2006