Re: Re: Whom to tell--when

[Guest guest]

Thats what I say too.. My son has such pretty silver hair.. I keep telling him to color it and DON'T tell anyone how old you are. lol.. Mine are 48, 46 & 45.. I'm 34.. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN ??? Love and Prayers, Peggy   IPF  2004,  Florida"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back,  Faith looks up." ,My mom says frequently she doesn't understand how she got so many children who are older than she.Funny, they still see us a "children" even at our age.Roxanne, 58, South Carolina2006 Asthma/ PF2008 IPF/ Sarcoidosis/GerdLady Slipper Orchid> >> > > From: Bruce Moreland <brucemoreland (AT) gmail (DOT) com > > <mailto:brucemoreland%40gmail.com>>> > > Subject: Re: Whom to tell--when> > > To: Breathe-Support  > > <mailto:Breathe-Support%40yahoogroups.com>> > > Date: Saturday, August 16, 2008, 12:11 PM> > > Roxanne> > >> > > Mother is a difficult one. Do you have kids> yourself?> > > Sounds like your> > > mother has a lot of physical problems but still> mentally> > > doing fine. If> > > so, while not worrying her is one side of it, let> me just> > > offer, not> > > pushing, the other. I can bet she feels somewhat> useless at> > > this point> > > in her life. She can't do the things she once> did that> > > she felt made her> > > a benefit to others and society. Many of us here> feel that> > > way> > > sometimes. At her age, most everyone has some of> those> > > thoughts. My> > > ex-wife's father worked to the age of 79 and> when he> > > had to stop he felt> > > that a lot. Fortunately told him that he> still had> > > one most> > > important thing of value to do and that was be> her father.> > > With him in> > > his 80's, having had two hip and two knee> replacements,> > > she would still> > > get in his lap. But she didn't just share> good things.> > > She shared> > > problems at work or with friends and sought his> advice. He> > > always was a> > > calming effect on her. So, think about what it> means to> > > your mother to> > > still "mother" you. That includes it> all. Might> > > just take her mind a bit> > > more off herself. She might even have good> support advice> > > from her> > > experiences. If explained clearly she'd know> your> > > disease is much> > > different from hers and not think it was her> fault. I> > > don't know if she> > > has close friends or doctors you might discuss it> with and> > > get opinions> > > from. I don't know a mother or father in the> world who> > > wouldn't want to> > > know. Yes, you have rights to your privacy if you> like.> > > But, doesn't she> > > have rights as a mother too? I know sometimes we> start> > > thinking of one> > > as an 85 year old cancer survivor with health> problems,> > > instead of as> > > our mother, our advisor, our supporter.> > >> > >> > >> > >> > > > > > >> > > > Hi all,> > > >> > > > I'd like to weigh in on this discussion> too. I> > > know we all have> > > preferences and reasons for doing it however we> choose.> > > I've gotten> > > valuable information from you all regarding this> issue but> > > I still have> > > a huge dilemma which I am facing and don't> know how to> > > handle it.> > > >> > > > I've told my 4 sisters, 2 brothers and 2> oldest> > > nieces (who are grown> > > and married). They are all sent updates each time> I visit> > > doctors and> > > have tests. I've told the 3 people at work> with whom I> > > work the closest.> > > My boss knows more than the other 2, but even she> > > doesn't know all the> > > details. It helps to have their support at work> due to time> > > off for drs> > > appts etc.> > > >> > > > My dilemma is my mother. She's 85 years> and not in> > > the best health> > > herself. She is a cancer survivor and 20 year> sufferer of> > > COPD and> > > chronic bronchitis. I have told her that I have> Sarcoid and> > > that it is> > > an inflammation which is causing all the> coughing. I am> > > scared to tell> > > her any more for fear she will feel it's her> fault and> > > worry too much> > > which could lead to further declining health for> her.> > > >> > > > My sisters are split on this issue, the 2> oldest> > > don't agree with me> > > and the 2 youngest do. My feeling is that as I> continue to> > > decline, I> > > may have no choice, but for right now I don't> want to> > > worry her> > > needlessly.> > > >> > > > Roxanne, 58, South Carolina> > > > 2006 Asthma/ PF> > > > 2008 IPF/ Sarcoidosis/Gerd> > > > Lady Slipper Orchid> > > >> >> > > >> >No virus found in this incoming message.> >Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com > >Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.6.4/1615 -> Release Date: 8/16/2008 7:11 AM> > > >