Re: Fwd: Start your day with a laugh

[Guest guest]

Peggy, Thanks for the laughs!

We're having a miserable day here...rain and 40 degrees!!!I even saw

snow..

really big snow flakes mixed with this horrid rain. I'm staying in...I

hope Pink is too!!!

The remaining innings of the series game are postponed until

Wednesday!!!!

GO PHILLIES

Z fibriotic NSIP/05

Z 64,

fibriotic NSIP/o5/PA

And “mild”

PH/10/07 and Reynaud’s too!!

No, NSIP was not

self-inflicted…I never smoked!

Potter,

reader,carousel lover and MomMom to

Darah

and Sara

“I’m gonna

be iron like a lion in Zion” Bob Marley

Vinca

Minor-periwinkle is my flower

Peggy wrote:

Subject: Start your day with a laugh

Reporters

interviewing a

104-year-old woman:

'And what do you think is the best thing

about being 104?' the reporter asked.

She

simply replied, 'No peer pressure'

Three

old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one

says, 'No, it's Thursday!'

Third

one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'

I've

sure gotten old!

I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip

replacement,

new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.

I'm half blind,

can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,

take 40 different medications that

make me dizzy, winded , and subject to blackouts.

Have bouts with dementia.

Have poor circulation;

hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.

Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.

Have

lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,

so I got my doctor's permission to

join a fitness club and start exercising.

I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.

I

bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,

by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and

told her preacher she had two final requests.

First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,

she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart

'Wal-Mart ?'

the preacher exclaimed.

'Why

Wal-Mart ?' 'Then

I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.'

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Also,

my memory's not as sharp as it used to be

Two

elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench

under a tree when one turned to the other and said: 'Slim, I'm 83 years

old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my

age. How do you feel?'

Slim

said, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'

'Really!?

Like a newborn baby?'

'Yep.

No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

Know how to prevent sagging?

Just

eat till the wrinkles fill out.

A

man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid... It

cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the art. It's perfect.'

'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'

'Twelve thirty', he replied.

It's scary when you start making the same noises

as your coffee maker.

An

elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.

He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a

set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%... He went back in a

month and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must

be really pleased that you can hear again.'

The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit

around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three

times!'

These days about half the stuff

in my shopping cart says,

'For fast relief.'

THE SENILITY PRAYER :

Grant me the senility to forget the people

I never liked anyway ,

the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell

the difference.

Always

Remember This:

You don't stop

laughing because you grow old,

You grow old because you stop laughing

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.175 / Virus Database: 270.8.4/1751 - Release Date: 10/27/2008 10:44 PM

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the really funny jokesw! Made my day - Lynda Mac

signature

Subject: Start your day with a laugh

Reporters interviewing a

104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.She simply replied, 'No peer pressure' Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'

Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'

I've sure gotten old!

I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded , and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license. I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over. An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart 'Wal-Mart ?' the preacher exclaimed. 'Why Wal-Mart ?' 'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.'

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim said, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn baby?' 'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

Know how to prevent sagging?

Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid... It cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty', he replied.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%... He went back in a month and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.' The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says,

'For fast relief.'

THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway , the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Always Remember This:

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.175 / Virus Database: 270.8.4/1751 - Release Date: 10/27/2008 10:44 PM

[Guest guest]

We have been cold here (for us) it was in the 39 last night and they are saying a freeze tonight. I am not sticking my nose out.. I was worried about Pink being out last night. Ya know it looks like the SMART MONEY MEN could figure out to take the pro games to the best weather spotsin the country.. makes me scratch my head..  Love & Prayers, PeggyFlorida,  IPF/UIP 2004"I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet, when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."  Peggy, Thanks for the laughs!We're having a miserable day here...rain and 40 degrees!!!I even saw snow..really big snow flakes mixed with this horrid rain. I'm staying in...I hope Pink is too!!!The remaining innings of the series  game are postponed until Wednesday!!!!GO PHILLIES Z 64, fibriotic NSIP/o5/PAAnd “mild” PH/10/07 and Reynaud’s too!!No, NSIP was not self-inflicted…I never smoked!Potter, reader,carousel lover and MomMom to Darahand Sara      “I’m gonna be iron like a lion in Zion”  Bob MarleyVinca Minor-periwinkle is my flower  Peggy wrote:Subject: Start your day with a laughReporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.She simply replied, 'No peer pressure' Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!' Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.' I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded , and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license. I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over. An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart 'Wal-Mart ?' the preacher exclaimed. 'Why Wal-Mart ?' 'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.' My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim said, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn baby?' 'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.' Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out. A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid... It cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty', he replied. It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker. An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%... He went back in a month and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.' The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!' These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, 'For fast relief.' THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway , the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.Always Remember This: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing 

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.175 / Virus Database: 270.8.4/1751 - Release Date: 10/27/2008 10:44 PM