Ingrid

May 4, 2005

Donelle, I am not too sure what happens next. The ONC told me I go in

for follow up bloodwork on the 17th. I think they will do a tumor

count. Then I will see him (ONC) a week later. I think (chemo brain)

that I will see him again in three months. I asked about CT and Pet

Scans. He told me none of these tests are reliable. Honestly I don't

know what to think. I just keep hoping that it does not come back.

Seems that the follow ups for now are so medival. I guess it's a wait

and see. And of course the always wondering for me. Thanks for

asking. Ingrid

>

> In a message dated 5/2/2005 10:30:47 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

> lowenco@h... writes:

>

> Donelle, Thank YOU!!

> I had finished my last chemo last Thursday. Treatment twelve. Am

> feeling very tired this evening. Had a rough day trying to get my

> regular chores done. Got up this morning and fed the horses and

> turned them out. Wanted so bad to go lay down again. Fought that

and

> went to store and bought stuff to make dinner. Had to do laundry

> then. By the time my husband came home I had dinner made but could

> not tolerate the salad dressing in my soooo sore mouth. Gave up

then.

> Told my husband and son to clean stuff up when done and I needed

to

> lay down. Slept a couple of hours and now am just checking e-mail

and

> going to go lay down again. Guess the low blood counts are doing

me

> in. Blood count was too low to do last chemo but I insisited since

I

> wanted this done with. Did not want a shot to help with the blood

> counts. Just thought time would make it better. Guess my

stubornness

> is now paying me back. (HUH) The docotr told me it might take a

month

> to feel better. Seems forever!!!!

> I know Janet has it rougher then me. When I feel down I think how

> awful she must be feeling. I have found myself meeting so many new

> friends over this illiness and I just never knew all the suffering

> till now. I Pray so hard each day that all would get better. Thak

YOU

> for all your support and Prayers. Ingrid

>

> Ingrid...hope you are feeling much perkier by now. Sorry for

taking so long

> to get back to you...but I have been praying for you and everyone

on this

> list. Out of sight does NOT mean out of mind...in this case!!!

If this is

> your last chemo treatment, what happens next...do you know??

>

> Donelle

> Caregiver to Glenn

>

May 4, 2005

Nonnie, I was a stage 3 with one lymph node positive. The tumor in my

colon was very large (softball size) and had me obstructed. Hence the

cramps and vomitting. The tumor at time of surgery had perforated the

colon wall. They removed my right side of the colon. I just completed

12 cycles of Folfox. Now where I go is up to God. Thanks for asking.

Ingrid

> What was your diagnosis and what level was your cancer?

>

> Nonnie

>

> IF THERE ARE NO DOGS OR HORSES IN HEAVEN THEN WHEN I DIE I WANT TO

GO WHERE

> THEY WENT.

>

> HOPEFULLY, there IS a RAINBOW BRIDGE!!

>

> Re: Re: Ingrid

>

> In a message dated 5/2/2005 10:30:47 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

> lowenco@h... writes:

>

> Donelle, Thank YOU!!

> I had finished my last chemo last Thursday. Treatment twelve. Am

> feeling very tired this evening. Had a rough day trying to get my

> regular chores done. Got up this morning and fed the horses and

> turned them out. Wanted so bad to go lay down again. Fought that

and

> went to store and bought stuff to make dinner. Had to do laundry

> then. By the time my husband came home I had dinner made but could

> not tolerate the salad dressing in my soooo sore mouth. Gave up

then.

> Told my husband and son to clean stuff up when done and I needed

to

> lay down. Slept a couple of hours and now am just checking e-mail

and

> going to go lay down again. Guess the low blood counts are doing

me

> in. Blood count was too low to do last chemo but I insisited since

I

> wanted this done with. Did not want a shot to help with the blood

> counts. Just thought time would make it better. Guess my

stubornness

> is now paying me back. (HUH) The docotr told me it might take a

month

> to feel better. Seems forever!!!!

> I know Janet has it rougher then me. When I feel down I think how

> awful she must be feeling. I have found myself meeting so many new

> friends over this illiness and I just never knew all the suffering

> till now. I Pray so hard each day that all would get better. Thak

YOU

> for all your support and Prayers. Ingrid

>

> Ingrid...hope you are feeling much perkier by now. Sorry for

taking so

> long

> to get back to you...but I have been praying for you and everyone

on this

> list. Out of sight does NOT mean out of mind...in this case!!!

If this

> is

> your last chemo treatment, what happens next...do you know??

>

> Donelle

> Caregiver to Glenn

>

May 4, 2005

I have had stage 2 twice .. two different places in the colon .. Had a

ostomy but was reversed. Too sick to have chemo because cancer was

discovered following a tummy tuck where I developed peritonitis. Long story.

Now trying to get strong to get a mesh repair done its sticking out. I'm

malnourished. had gastric bypass surgery in 2000 - went from 300 to now 124

and too weak for chemo but hopefully I will be able to.

How bad was your chemo.

Nonnie

IF THERE ARE NO DOGS OR HORSES IN HEAVEN THEN WHEN I DIE I WANT TO GO WHERE

THEY WENT.

HOPEFULLY, there IS a RAINBOW BRIDGE!!

Re: Re: Ingrid

>

> In a message dated 5/2/2005 10:30:47 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

> lowenco@h... writes:

>

> Donelle, Thank YOU!!

> I had finished my last chemo last Thursday. Treatment twelve. Am

> feeling very tired this evening. Had a rough day trying to get my

> regular chores done. Got up this morning and fed the horses and

> turned them out. Wanted so bad to go lay down again. Fought that

and

> went to store and bought stuff to make dinner. Had to do laundry

> then. By the time my husband came home I had dinner made but could

> not tolerate the salad dressing in my soooo sore mouth. Gave up

then.

> Told my husband and son to clean stuff up when done and I needed

to

> lay down. Slept a couple of hours and now am just checking e-mail

and

> going to go lay down again. Guess the low blood counts are doing

me

> in. Blood count was too low to do last chemo but I insisited since

I

> wanted this done with. Did not want a shot to help with the blood

> counts. Just thought time would make it better. Guess my

stubornness

> is now paying me back. (HUH) The docotr told me it might take a

month

> to feel better. Seems forever!!!!

> I know Janet has it rougher then me. When I feel down I think how

> awful she must be feeling. I have found myself meeting so many new

> friends over this illiness and I just never knew all the suffering

> till now. I Pray so hard each day that all would get better. Thak

YOU

> for all your support and Prayers. Ingrid

>

> Ingrid...hope you are feeling much perkier by now. Sorry for

taking so

> long

> to get back to you...but I have been praying for you and everyone

on this

> list. Out of sight does NOT mean out of mind...in this case!!!

If this

> is

> your last chemo treatment, what happens next...do you know??

>

> Donelle

> Caregiver to Glenn

>

May 4, 2005

Nonnie, I was on Folfox. Had the normal side effects. Had the

tingling in hands and feet. If you take chemo in the warmer months

and of where you live (warmer climate) that side effect will not be

so severe. It is an aversion to anything cold that causes the

tingling. I had chemo in our nasty midwest cold winter. Even touching

the metal dog bowl caused the burning in my hands. You learn to let

water run in the sink to warm it up before putting hands under the

faucet.

I did not have real bad problems with chemo till the last maybe

four treatments. Lost my sense of taste. Nothing has taste. Only

strong flavors did and then they would cause a burning in my mouth.

Again this did not happen till the last several treatments. Chemo is

cummlative and that is probably why.

My hair thinned considerably. You do not go bald with Folfox. Just

thins. Hair everywhere. Worse then my dogs shedding I think. Hated

taking showers and watching it in the bottom of tub. Combed it very

carefully since I hated it coming out. I wear it very long and still

have it long. But it has gotten thinner.

Had some sores in the corners of my mouth where my lips meet. That

lasted a few days after each go around. Mind you all the side effects

went away between chemo treatments.

Now want you to realize that not everyone has these side effects.

And some have it with less problems. I had met others in my chemo

group on the same chemo that it did not even thin their hair. It all

depends on your body and how you react.

I do NOT want to scare you with my side effects. But feel that I

must be truthful with it. Chemo is not that bad!!!! It is bearable.

Had diareha. Some cycles worse then others. Every cycle was

different. Somrtimes I got sick and sometimes not. Blood counts

dropped but did not drop horribley till the last three cycles. The

last two cycles I ended up napping a lot more during the day. Usually

the day after chemo I slept on and off.

Now I must also tell you that I still made dinners for the family

and still kept house. Managed to feed the horses and care of the

menageree of critters here. Very few times did I miss days where my

husband and son took over. So you see it can be done. You will

survive it and can function. Do not let any of this scare you. Not

everyone has the same effects. You will have to just see how your

system reacts. I was in great shape before all this. Stacked 80 pound

bales of hay. Did feed runs and unloaded. Now I find that I let the

guys do it. Just the weekness that the chemo does. I just hope I did

not scare you with all this. Wanted to be honest and not put rose

colored glasses on for you to read. Wished they would of told me all

this before I went through it. But the Onc will only tell you that

they have no idea how it will do you. I hope the best for you.

Did they suggest chemo for stage 2?? Ingrid

> > What was your diagnosis and what level was your cancer?

> >

> > Nonnie

> >

> > IF THERE ARE NO DOGS OR HORSES IN HEAVEN THEN WHEN I DIE I WANT

TO

> GO WHERE

> > THEY WENT.

> >

> > HOPEFULLY, there IS a RAINBOW BRIDGE!!

> >

> > Re: Re: Ingrid

> >

> > In a message dated 5/2/2005 10:30:47 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

> > lowenco@h... writes:

> >

> > Donelle, Thank YOU!!

> > I had finished my last chemo last Thursday. Treatment twelve. Am

> > feeling very tired this evening. Had a rough day trying to get

my

> > regular chores done. Got up this morning and fed the horses and

> > turned them out. Wanted so bad to go lay down again. Fought that

> and

> > went to store and bought stuff to make dinner. Had to do laundry

> > then. By the time my husband came home I had dinner made but

could

> > not tolerate the salad dressing in my soooo sore mouth. Gave up

> then.

> > Told my husband and son to clean stuff up when done and I needed

> to

> > lay down. Slept a couple of hours and now am just checking e-

mail

> and

> > going to go lay down again. Guess the low blood counts are doing

> me

> > in. Blood count was too low to do last chemo but I insisited

since

> I

> > wanted this done with. Did not want a shot to help with the

blood

> > counts. Just thought time would make it better. Guess my

> stubornness

> > is now paying me back. (HUH) The docotr told me it might take a

> month

> > to feel better. Seems forever!!!!

> > I know Janet has it rougher then me. When I feel down I think

how

> > awful she must be feeling. I have found myself meeting so many

new

> > friends over this illiness and I just never knew all the

suffering

> > till now. I Pray so hard each day that all would get better.

Thak

> YOU

> > for all your support and Prayers. Ingrid

> >

> > Ingrid...hope you are feeling much perkier by now. Sorry for

> taking so

> > long

> > to get back to you...but I have been praying for you and

everyone

> on this

> > list. Out of sight does NOT mean out of mind...in this

case!!!

> If this

> > is

> > your last chemo treatment, what happens next...do you know??

> >

> > Donelle

> > Caregiver to Glenn

> >

May 4, 2005

They want to give me oxyplatin, FU5, and some other stuff but I'm weak now.

I'm anemic now. Doc said no chemo till I'm stronger.

It scares the hell out of me to be honest with you.

Nonnie

IF THERE ARE NO DOGS OR HORSES IN HEAVEN THEN WHEN I DIE I WANT TO GO WHERE

THEY WENT.

HOPEFULLY, there IS a RAINBOW BRIDGE!!

Re: Re: Ingrid

> >

> > In a message dated 5/2/2005 10:30:47 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

> > lowenco@h... writes:

> >

> > Donelle, Thank YOU!!

> > I had finished my last chemo last Thursday. Treatment twelve. Am

> > feeling very tired this evening. Had a rough day trying to get

my

> > regular chores done. Got up this morning and fed the horses and

> > turned them out. Wanted so bad to go lay down again. Fought that

> and

> > went to store and bought stuff to make dinner. Had to do laundry

> > then. By the time my husband came home I had dinner made but

could

> > not tolerate the salad dressing in my soooo sore mouth. Gave up

> then.

> > Told my husband and son to clean stuff up when done and I needed

> to

> > lay down. Slept a couple of hours and now am just checking e-

mail

> and

> > going to go lay down again. Guess the low blood counts are doing

> me

> > in. Blood count was too low to do last chemo but I insisited

since

> I

> > wanted this done with. Did not want a shot to help with the

blood

> > counts. Just thought time would make it better. Guess my

> stubornness

> > is now paying me back. (HUH) The docotr told me it might take a

> month

> > to feel better. Seems forever!!!!

> > I know Janet has it rougher then me. When I feel down I think

how

> > awful she must be feeling. I have found myself meeting so many

new

> > friends over this illiness and I just never knew all the

suffering

> > till now. I Pray so hard each day that all would get better.

Thak

> YOU

> > for all your support and Prayers. Ingrid

> >

> > Ingrid...hope you are feeling much perkier by now. Sorry for

> taking so

> > long

> > to get back to you...but I have been praying for you and

everyone

> on this

> > list. Out of sight does NOT mean out of mind...in this

case!!!

> If this

> > is

> > your last chemo treatment, what happens next...do you know??

> >

> > Donelle

> > Caregiver to Glenn

> >

May 4, 2005

Yes, Those were the chemicals I was on. It is the OXY that does the

tingling. The 5FU that does the hair thinning and mouth tenderness.

Do not be too scared. Think of the better chance you will have of not

having a reoccurance. The one ONC told me give me six months of your

life and I will give you a liftime. I know I was scared too. But you

really have no choice. It will increase your odds. Do you want better

chance of life without cancer? Then it is the only choice. But again

remember that chemo does not give you 100%. There are no promises

with chemo or without. It is a soul-searching choice you have to

make. Also remember if the chemo is too the point where you cannot

take it you can stop. That choice is always yours!!!!!!! A little

chemo is better then no chemo. They give you a drip at first that

will help keep you from getting sick. This does help. Chemo is not

like it was many years ago. You do not have to vomit. They do

everything to help with that. But you must get yourself in better

shape before you start. I hope this does help you. I feel for you

very much. But then you just might be some of the ones who just

breeze through it. Others here got through it and did not suffer.

Always keep in the back of you mind that if it gets too bad you can

always stop it. That choice is always there for you. Keep us posted

on how you doing. Do you drink Ensure and Boost. They have the Boost

Plus that has the extra calories. Hoping you get stronger soon. Ingrid

> > > What was your diagnosis and what level was your cancer?

> > >

> > > Nonnie

> > >

> > > IF THERE ARE NO DOGS OR HORSES IN HEAVEN THEN WHEN I DIE I WANT

> TO

> > GO WHERE

> > > THEY WENT.

> > >

> > > HOPEFULLY, there IS a RAINBOW BRIDGE!!

> > >

> > > Re: Re: Ingrid

> > >

> > > In a message dated 5/2/2005 10:30:47 P.M. Eastern Daylight

Time,

> > > lowenco@h... writes:

> > >

> > > Donelle, Thank YOU!!

> > > I had finished my last chemo last Thursday. Treatment twelve.

Am

> > > feeling very tired this evening. Had a rough day trying to

get

> my

> > > regular chores done. Got up this morning and fed the horses

and

> > > turned them out. Wanted so bad to go lay down again. Fought

that

> > and

> > > went to store and bought stuff to make dinner. Had to do

laundry

> > > then. By the time my husband came home I had dinner made but

> could

> > > not tolerate the salad dressing in my soooo sore mouth. Gave

up

> > then.

> > > Told my husband and son to clean stuff up when done and I

needed

> > to

> > > lay down. Slept a couple of hours and now am just checking e-

> mail

> > and

> > > going to go lay down again. Guess the low blood counts are

doing

> > me

> > > in. Blood count was too low to do last chemo but I insisited

> since

> > I

> > > wanted this done with. Did not want a shot to help with the

> blood

> > > counts. Just thought time would make it better. Guess my

> > stubornness

> > > is now paying me back. (HUH) The docotr told me it might take

a

> > month

> > > to feel better. Seems forever!!!!

> > > I know Janet has it rougher then me. When I feel down I think

> how

> > > awful she must be feeling. I have found myself meeting so many

> new

> > > friends over this illiness and I just never knew all the

> suffering

> > > till now. I Pray so hard each day that all would get better.

> Thak

> > YOU

> > > for all your support and Prayers. Ingrid

> > >

> > > Ingrid...hope you are feeling much perkier by now. Sorry for

> > taking so

> > > long

> > > to get back to you...but I have been praying for you and

> everyone

> > on this

> > > list. Out of sight does NOT mean out of mind...in this

> case!!!

> > If this

> > > is

> > > your last chemo treatment, what happens next...do you know??

> > >

> > > Donelle

> > > Caregiver to Glenn

> > >

May 4, 2005

I have never breezed through anything. It will be 2 years in August since

my " personal hell " started. But I'm tough otherwise I would have died from

the periontinitis. But there is only so much psychologically and physically

I can take. I will know tomorrow if I need another transfusion. I wish

they would put me on ferrocyette infusions.. When I was on them I didn't

have as much an anemia problem.

Nonnie

IF THERE ARE NO DOGS OR HORSES IN HEAVEN THEN WHEN I DIE I WANT TO GO WHERE

THEY WENT.

HOPEFULLY, there IS a RAINBOW BRIDGE!!

Re: Re: Ingrid

> > >

> > > In a message dated 5/2/2005 10:30:47 P.M. Eastern Daylight

Time,

> > > lowenco@h... writes:

> > >

> > > Donelle, Thank YOU!!

> > > I had finished my last chemo last Thursday. Treatment twelve.

Am

> > > feeling very tired this evening. Had a rough day trying to

get

> my

> > > regular chores done. Got up this morning and fed the horses

and

> > > turned them out. Wanted so bad to go lay down again. Fought

that

> > and

> > > went to store and bought stuff to make dinner. Had to do

laundry

> > > then. By the time my husband came home I had dinner made but

> could

> > > not tolerate the salad dressing in my soooo sore mouth. Gave

up

> > then.

> > > Told my husband and son to clean stuff up when done and I

needed

> > to

> > > lay down. Slept a couple of hours and now am just checking e-

> mail

> > and

> > > going to go lay down again. Guess the low blood counts are

doing

> > me

> > > in. Blood count was too low to do last chemo but I insisited

> since

> > I

> > > wanted this done with. Did not want a shot to help with the

> blood

> > > counts. Just thought time would make it better. Guess my

> > stubornness

> > > is now paying me back. (HUH) The docotr told me it might take

a

> > month

> > > to feel better. Seems forever!!!!

> > > I know Janet has it rougher then me. When I feel down I think

> how

> > > awful she must be feeling. I have found myself meeting so many

> new

> > > friends over this illiness and I just never knew all the

> suffering

> > > till now. I Pray so hard each day that all would get better.

> Thak

> > YOU

> > > for all your support and Prayers. Ingrid

> > >

> > > Ingrid...hope you are feeling much perkier by now. Sorry for

> > taking so

> > > long

> > > to get back to you...but I have been praying for you and

> everyone

> > on this

> > > list. Out of sight does NOT mean out of mind...in this

> case!!!

> > If this

> > > is

> > > your last chemo treatment, what happens next...do you know??

> > >

> > > Donelle

> > > Caregiver to Glenn

> > >

May 4, 2005

Nonnie, Yeah I know what you mean. This whole thing has been hell.

But, you are a horse person with a lot of reason to fight for your

life. Horse people are tough!!!! Just remember that. Hang tough!!!!

You will get through this!!!!! You seem to be strong mentally!!! And

that means a lot. We are all here for you on this group. Get through

this anyway you can. I know you can do it. Look how tough you have

been showing horses. If that is not tough then I do not know what is.

I know you can get through it!!

Did you get on your horse last weekend. I thought you said you were

going to? How did it go??? Ingrid

> > > > What was your diagnosis and what level was your cancer?

> > > >

> > > > Nonnie

> > > >

> > > > IF THERE ARE NO DOGS OR HORSES IN HEAVEN THEN WHEN I DIE I

WANT

> > TO

> > > GO WHERE

> > > > THEY WENT.

> > > >

> > > > HOPEFULLY, there IS a RAINBOW BRIDGE!!

> > > >

> > > > Re: Re: Ingrid

> > > >

> > > > In a message dated 5/2/2005 10:30:47 P.M. Eastern Daylight

> Time,

> > > > lowenco@h... writes:

> > > >

> > > > Donelle, Thank YOU!!

> > > > I had finished my last chemo last Thursday. Treatment

twelve.

> Am

> > > > feeling very tired this evening. Had a rough day trying to

> get

> > my

> > > > regular chores done. Got up this morning and fed the horses

> and

> > > > turned them out. Wanted so bad to go lay down again. Fought

> that

> > > and

> > > > went to store and bought stuff to make dinner. Had to do

> laundry

> > > > then. By the time my husband came home I had dinner made but

> > could

> > > > not tolerate the salad dressing in my soooo sore mouth. Gave

> up

> > > then.

> > > > Told my husband and son to clean stuff up when done and I

> needed

> > > to

> > > > lay down. Slept a couple of hours and now am just checking e-

> > mail

> > > and

> > > > going to go lay down again. Guess the low blood counts are

> doing

> > > me

> > > > in. Blood count was too low to do last chemo but I insisited

> > since

> > > I

> > > > wanted this done with. Did not want a shot to help with the

> > blood

> > > > counts. Just thought time would make it better. Guess my

> > > stubornness

> > > > is now paying me back. (HUH) The docotr told me it might

take

> a

> > > month

> > > > to feel better. Seems forever!!!!

> > > > I know Janet has it rougher then me. When I feel down I

think

> > how

> > > > awful she must be feeling. I have found myself meeting so

many

> > new

> > > > friends over this illiness and I just never knew all the

> > suffering

> > > > till now. I Pray so hard each day that all would get better.

> > Thak

> > > YOU

> > > > for all your support and Prayers. Ingrid

> > > >

> > > > Ingrid...hope you are feeling much perkier by now. Sorry

for

> > > taking so

> > > > long

> > > > to get back to you...but I have been praying for you and

> > everyone

> > > on this

> > > > list. Out of sight does NOT mean out of mind...in this

> > case!!!

> > > If this

> > > > is

> > > > your last chemo treatment, what happens next...do you

know??

> > > >

> > > > Donelle

> > > > Caregiver to Glenn

> > > >

May 4, 2005

I rode Rusty for 10 minutes that was l could take and was exhausted. He was

a perfect little angel as if he knew not to upset his mom. I barely could

keep him jogging I have absolutely no muscles any more.

Nonnie

IF THERE ARE NO DOGS OR HORSES IN HEAVEN THEN WHEN I DIE I WANT TO GO WHERE

THEY WENT.

HOPEFULLY, there IS a RAINBOW BRIDGE!!

Re: Re: Ingrid

> > > >

> > > > In a message dated 5/2/2005 10:30:47 P.M. Eastern Daylight

> Time,

> > > > lowenco@h... writes:

> > > >

> > > > Donelle, Thank YOU!!

> > > > I had finished my last chemo last Thursday. Treatment

twelve.

> Am

> > > > feeling very tired this evening. Had a rough day trying to

> get

> > my

> > > > regular chores done. Got up this morning and fed the horses

> and

> > > > turned them out. Wanted so bad to go lay down again. Fought

> that

> > > and

> > > > went to store and bought stuff to make dinner. Had to do

> laundry

> > > > then. By the time my husband came home I had dinner made but

> > could

> > > > not tolerate the salad dressing in my soooo sore mouth. Gave

> up

> > > then.

> > > > Told my husband and son to clean stuff up when done and I

> needed

> > > to

> > > > lay down. Slept a couple of hours and now am just checking e-

> > mail

> > > and

> > > > going to go lay down again. Guess the low blood counts are

> doing

> > > me

> > > > in. Blood count was too low to do last chemo but I insisited

> > since

> > > I

> > > > wanted this done with. Did not want a shot to help with the

> > blood

> > > > counts. Just thought time would make it better. Guess my

> > > stubornness

> > > > is now paying me back. (HUH) The docotr told me it might

take

> a

> > > month

> > > > to feel better. Seems forever!!!!

> > > > I know Janet has it rougher then me. When I feel down I

think

> > how

> > > > awful she must be feeling. I have found myself meeting so

many

> > new

> > > > friends over this illiness and I just never knew all the

> > suffering

> > > > till now. I Pray so hard each day that all would get better.

> > Thak

> > > YOU

> > > > for all your support and Prayers. Ingrid

> > > >

> > > > Ingrid...hope you are feeling much perkier by now. Sorry

for

> > > taking so

> > > > long

> > > > to get back to you...but I have been praying for you and

> > everyone

> > > on this

> > > > list. Out of sight does NOT mean out of mind...in this

> > case!!!

> > > If this

> > > > is

> > > > your last chemo treatment, what happens next...do you

know??

> > > >

> > > > Donelle

> > > > Caregiver to Glenn

> > > >

May 4, 2005

You and I both know that it takes time to get built up again. Try

riding for short times and just work into it. Right now I am not even

sure I can saddle my own horse. Been cleaning some of their feet out

since the old stallion and the pony both have thrush. Been treating

that. The pony went down on me yesterday while doctoring his front

feet and I did have the strength to keep him from doing it. You will

find the strength. You just need to get your blood counts up again.

It will get there. Someone as determined as you in the show ring can

get themselves built up again. I know you are a determined Lady!!!!

Just get that fighting spirit worked into it. Hang in there. You will

get better. You are a fighter to come this far. Just a little

more!!!!! Ingrid

> > > > > What was your diagnosis and what level was your cancer?

> > > > >

> > > > > Nonnie

> > > > >

> > > > > IF THERE ARE NO DOGS OR HORSES IN HEAVEN THEN WHEN I DIE I

> WANT

> > > TO

> > > > GO WHERE

> > > > > THEY WENT.

> > > > >

> > > > > HOPEFULLY, there IS a RAINBOW BRIDGE!!

> > > > >

> > > > > Re: Re: Ingrid

> > > > >

> > > > > In a message dated 5/2/2005 10:30:47 P.M. Eastern Daylight

> > Time,

> > > > > lowenco@h... writes:

> > > > >

> > > > > Donelle, Thank YOU!!

> > > > > I had finished my last chemo last Thursday. Treatment

> twelve.

> > Am

> > > > > feeling very tired this evening. Had a rough day trying

to

> > get

> > > my

> > > > > regular chores done. Got up this morning and fed the horses

> > and

> > > > > turned them out. Wanted so bad to go lay down again. Fought

> > that

> > > > and

> > > > > went to store and bought stuff to make dinner. Had to do

> > laundry

> > > > > then. By the time my husband came home I had dinner made

but

> > > could

> > > > > not tolerate the salad dressing in my soooo sore mouth.

Gave

> > up

> > > > then.

> > > > > Told my husband and son to clean stuff up when done and I

> > needed

> > > > to

> > > > > lay down. Slept a couple of hours and now am just checking

e-

> > > mail

> > > > and

> > > > > going to go lay down again. Guess the low blood counts are

> > doing

> > > > me

> > > > > in. Blood count was too low to do last chemo but I

insisited

> > > since

> > > > I

> > > > > wanted this done with. Did not want a shot to help with

the

> > > blood

> > > > > counts. Just thought time would make it better. Guess my

> > > > stubornness

> > > > > is now paying me back. (HUH) The docotr told me it might

> take

> > a

> > > > month

> > > > > to feel better. Seems forever!!!!

> > > > > I know Janet has it rougher then me. When I feel down I

> think

> > > how

> > > > > awful she must be feeling. I have found myself meeting so

> many

> > > new

> > > > > friends over this illiness and I just never knew all the

> > > suffering

> > > > > till now. I Pray so hard each day that all would get

better.

> > > Thak

> > > > YOU

> > > > > for all your support and Prayers. Ingrid

> > > > >

> > > > > Ingrid...hope you are feeling much perkier by now. Sorry

> for

> > > > taking so

> > > > > long

> > > > > to get back to you...but I have been praying for you and

> > > everyone

> > > > on this

> > > > > list. Out of sight does NOT mean out of mind...in this

> > > case!!!

> > > > If this

> > > > > is

> > > > > your last chemo treatment, what happens next...do you

> know??

> > > > >

> > > > > Donelle

> > > > > Caregiver to Glenn

> > > > >

May 5, 2005

I am lucky my horses live at the trainers who keeps them in immaculate

condition. They are fully groomed every single day. My horses have never

had thrush. Sometimes I think their stalls are cleaner than people's houses

.. The are completely done 2x a day and always look great with fluffy

shavings.

At 51, I don't know how much showing I want to do. Its hard to explain

this. But when it is more effort than fun. and you know you have the best

horse. sometimes I feel what's the point.

I keep the horses because they are family as much as my little dog is. I

don't enjoy riding like I did years ago and you or anyone else couldn't give

me another horse free if you begged me.

I'm going to call the doctor and find out about the blood results a bit

later.

Nonnie

IF THERE ARE NO DOGS OR HORSES IN HEAVEN THEN WHEN I DIE I WANT TO GO WHERE

THEY WENT.

HOPEFULLY, there IS a RAINBOW BRIDGE!!

Re: Re: Ingrid

> > > > >

> > > > > In a message dated 5/2/2005 10:30:47 P.M. Eastern Daylight

> > Time,

> > > > > lowenco@h... writes:

> > > > >

> > > > > Donelle, Thank YOU!!

> > > > > I had finished my last chemo last Thursday. Treatment

> twelve.

> > Am

> > > > > feeling very tired this evening. Had a rough day trying

to

> > get

> > > my

> > > > > regular chores done. Got up this morning and fed the horses

> > and

> > > > > turned them out. Wanted so bad to go lay down again. Fought

> > that

> > > > and

> > > > > went to store and bought stuff to make dinner. Had to do

> > laundry

> > > > > then. By the time my husband came home I had dinner made

but

> > > could

> > > > > not tolerate the salad dressing in my soooo sore mouth.

Gave

> > up

> > > > then.

> > > > > Told my husband and son to clean stuff up when done and I

> > needed

> > > > to

> > > > > lay down. Slept a couple of hours and now am just checking

e-

> > > mail

> > > > and

> > > > > going to go lay down again. Guess the low blood counts are

> > doing

> > > > me

> > > > > in. Blood count was too low to do last chemo but I

insisited

> > > since

> > > > I

> > > > > wanted this done with. Did not want a shot to help with

the

> > > blood

> > > > > counts. Just thought time would make it better. Guess my

> > > > stubornness

> > > > > is now paying me back. (HUH) The docotr told me it might

> take

> > a

> > > > month

> > > > > to feel better. Seems forever!!!!

> > > > > I know Janet has it rougher then me. When I feel down I

> think

> > > how

> > > > > awful she must be feeling. I have found myself meeting so

> many

> > > new

> > > > > friends over this illiness and I just never knew all the

> > > suffering

> > > > > till now. I Pray so hard each day that all would get

better.

> > > Thak

> > > > YOU

> > > > > for all your support and Prayers. Ingrid

> > > > >

> > > > > Ingrid...hope you are feeling much perkier by now. Sorry

> for

> > > > taking so

> > > > > long

> > > > > to get back to you...but I have been praying for you and

> > > everyone

> > > > on this

> > > > > list. Out of sight does NOT mean out of mind...in this

> > > case!!!

> > > > If this

> > > > > is

> > > > > your last chemo treatment, what happens next...do you

> know??

> > > > >

> > > > > Donelle

> > > > > Caregiver to Glenn

> > > > >

May 5, 2005

Ingrid,

Congrats on making it to the finish line!!!!

I hope and pray that you've finally achieved victory over the disease, and

will see only good results from all of the follow-up tests for years and

years to come!!!

I have just made it to the starting line of the second heat of MY race...I

start chemo next Monday...12 rounsd of FOLFOX4+Avastin..

I have to travel 90 minutes each way to the hospital, 3 days in a row, every

other week...the usual routine, I guess...

Day 1-- blood tests, 3+ hours of infusion, hook up the Baxter pump, go home

Day 2-- 3+hours of infusion, refill the Baxter, go home

Day 3-- come back to disconnect the Baxter

I'm scared to death, since it's so impossible to know what to expect!!! I

guess almost anything will be better than the uncertainty (he said

confidently--Ha, ha!!)

All the best,

Marty

Israel News Radio - http://www.Israelnewsradio.net

Audio Blog:

http://www.israelnewsradio.net/the-marty-roberts-show.html

Podcast: http://www.israelnewsradio.net/podcast.html

Re: Ingrid

> Donelle, I am not too sure what happens next. The ONC told me I go in

> for follow up bloodwork on the 17th. I think they will do a tumor

> count. Then I will see him (ONC) a week later. I think (chemo brain)

> that I will see him again in three months. I asked about CT and Pet

> Scans. He told me none of these tests are reliable. Honestly I don't

> know what to think. I just keep hoping that it does not come back.

> Seems that the follow ups for now are so medival. I guess it's a wait

> and see. And of course the always wondering for me. Thanks for

> asking. Ingrid

>

>>

>> In a message dated 5/2/2005 10:30:47 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

>> lowenco@h... writes:

>>

>> Donelle, Thank YOU!!

>> I had finished my last chemo last Thursday. Treatment twelve. Am

>> feeling very tired this evening. Had a rough day trying to get my

>> regular chores done. Got up this morning and fed the horses and

>> turned them out. Wanted so bad to go lay down again. Fought that

> and

>> went to store and bought stuff to make dinner. Had to do laundry

>> then. By the time my husband came home I had dinner made but could

>> not tolerate the salad dressing in my soooo sore mouth. Gave up

> then.

>> Told my husband and son to clean stuff up when done and I needed

> to

>> lay down. Slept a couple of hours and now am just checking e-mail

> and

>> going to go lay down again. Guess the low blood counts are doing

> me

>> in. Blood count was too low to do last chemo but I insisited since

> I

>> wanted this done with. Did not want a shot to help with the blood

>> counts. Just thought time would make it better. Guess my

> stubornness

>> is now paying me back. (HUH) The docotr told me it might take a

> month

>> to feel better. Seems forever!!!!

>> I know Janet has it rougher then me. When I feel down I think how

>> awful she must be feeling. I have found myself meeting so many new

>> friends over this illiness and I just never knew all the suffering

>> till now. I Pray so hard each day that all would get better. Thak

> YOU

>> for all your support and Prayers. Ingrid

>>

>> Ingrid...hope you are feeling much perkier by now. Sorry for

> taking so long

>> to get back to you...but I have been praying for you and everyone

> on this

>> list. Out of sight does NOT mean out of mind...in this case!!!

> If this is

>> your last chemo treatment, what happens next...do you know??

>>

>> Donelle

>> Caregiver to Glenn

>>

May 5, 2005

Nonnie,

I am not surprised you are scared. I had my last oxy treatment throw me

into an allergic reaction that sent me to the hospital two days. Yesterday,

as I was slipping into depression again (this seems to be my side effect), I

called an emergency number to " talk " and was asked if I was being treated

for

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and I said not to my knowledge and the woman

said that the allergic reaction, etc. is what would create PTSD in me. So,

I am sure many of us are suffering from some form of PTSD with these damn

treatments.

Oh f..., I am crying while I type. If I could only let it all out.

Karima

Re: Re: Ingrid

> > >

> > > In a message dated 5/2/2005 10:30:47 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

> > > lowenco@h... writes:

> > >

> > > Donelle, Thank YOU!!

> > > I had finished my last chemo last Thursday. Treatment twelve. Am

> > > feeling very tired this evening. Had a rough day trying to get

> my

> > > regular chores done. Got up this morning and fed the horses and

> > > turned them out. Wanted so bad to go lay down again. Fought that

> > and

> > > went to store and bought stuff to make dinner. Had to do laundry

> > > then. By the time my husband came home I had dinner made but

> could

> > > not tolerate the salad dressing in my soooo sore mouth. Gave up

> > then.

> > > Told my husband and son to clean stuff up when done and I needed

> > to

> > > lay down. Slept a couple of hours and now am just checking e-

> mail

> > and

> > > going to go lay down again. Guess the low blood counts are doing

> > me

> > > in. Blood count was too low to do last chemo but I insisited

> since

> > I

> > > wanted this done with. Did not want a shot to help with the

> blood

> > > counts. Just thought time would make it better. Guess my

> > stubornness

> > > is now paying me back. (HUH) The docotr told me it might take a

> > month

> > > to feel better. Seems forever!!!!

> > > I know Janet has it rougher then me. When I feel down I think

> how

> > > awful she must be feeling. I have found myself meeting so many

> new

> > > friends over this illiness and I just never knew all the

> suffering

> > > till now. I Pray so hard each day that all would get better.

> Thak

> > YOU

> > > for all your support and Prayers. Ingrid

> > >

> > > Ingrid...hope you are feeling much perkier by now. Sorry for

> > taking so

> > > long

> > > to get back to you...but I have been praying for you and

> everyone

> > on this

> > > list. Out of sight does NOT mean out of mind...in this

> case!!!

> > If this

> > > is

> > > your last chemo treatment, what happens next...do you know??

> > >

> > > Donelle

> > > Caregiver to Glenn

> > >

May 5, 2005

I'm not stressed as long as I have my dog and computer. I love staying home

and hanging out. I have all the toys and bells and whistles I need at home.

I didn't used to go out much except work if I wasn't working at home at the

time. I would like to go to the club to go swimming and sunning but with

the mesh exposed that may cause another infection so I can't.

I don't have the energy to play tennis anymore.

Nonnie

IF THERE ARE NO DOGS OR HORSES IN HEAVEN THEN WHEN I DIE I WANT TO GO WHERE

THEY WENT.

HOPEFULLY, there IS a RAINBOW BRIDGE!!

Re: Re: Ingrid

Nonnie,

I am not surprised you are scared. I had my last oxy treatment throw me

into an allergic reaction that sent me to the hospital two days. Yesterday,

as I was slipping into depression again (this seems to be my side effect), I

called an emergency number to " talk " and was asked if I was being treated

for

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and I said not to my knowledge and the woman

said that the allergic reaction, etc. is what would create PTSD in me. So,

I am sure many of us are suffering from some form of PTSD with these damn

treatments.

Oh f..., I am crying while I type. If I could only let it all out.

Karima

Re: Re: Ingrid

> > >

> > > In a message dated 5/2/2005 10:30:47 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

> > > lowenco@h... writes:

> > >

> > > Donelle, Thank YOU!!

> > > I had finished my last chemo last Thursday. Treatment twelve. Am

> > > feeling very tired this evening. Had a rough day trying to get

> my

> > > regular chores done. Got up this morning and fed the horses and

> > > turned them out. Wanted so bad to go lay down again. Fought that

> > and

> > > went to store and bought stuff to make dinner. Had to do laundry

> > > then. By the time my husband came home I had dinner made but

> could

> > > not tolerate the salad dressing in my soooo sore mouth. Gave up

> > then.

> > > Told my husband and son to clean stuff up when done and I needed

> > to

> > > lay down. Slept a couple of hours and now am just checking e-

> mail

> > and

> > > going to go lay down again. Guess the low blood counts are doing

> > me

> > > in. Blood count was too low to do last chemo but I insisited

> since

> > I

> > > wanted this done with. Did not want a shot to help with the

> blood

> > > counts. Just thought time would make it better. Guess my

> > stubornness

> > > is now paying me back. (HUH) The docotr told me it might take a

> > month

> > > to feel better. Seems forever!!!!

> > > I know Janet has it rougher then me. When I feel down I think

> how

> > > awful she must be feeling. I have found myself meeting so many

> new

> > > friends over this illiness and I just never knew all the

> suffering

> > > till now. I Pray so hard each day that all would get better.

> Thak

> > YOU

> > > for all your support and Prayers. Ingrid

> > >

> > > Ingrid...hope you are feeling much perkier by now. Sorry for

> > taking so

> > > long

> > > to get back to you...but I have been praying for you and

> everyone

> > on this

> > > list. Out of sight does NOT mean out of mind...in this

> case!!!

> > If this

> > > is

> > > your last chemo treatment, what happens next...do you know??

> > >

> > > Donelle

> > > Caregiver to Glenn

> > >

May 5, 2005

Marty

Going in I didn't know beans from buckshot, so I didn't expect anything. Or

expected whatever I got.

I think your first session will go okay. I didn't experience much of anything

the first time. Though I did realize that the Decadron they gave me for whatever

reason made my hip and knees stop hurting. So for that it is worth it to be pain

free for a week anyway. As time progresses I am experiencing more side effects

etc. So take it as it comes. Don't be scared, it might make you sick but you can

take it. You will be surprised what you can take at get further into your chemo.

I choose to stay upbeat with a good attitude. The stuff might be drano but it is

killing those cancer cells. Visualize all those little tiny karate guys fighting

away. LOL..

You will do fine.. Cheers Jolene