Special Mom by Erma Bombeck

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A Holiday message to all the Special Mom's

Happy Holidays

The Special Mom by Erma Bombeck, 1980

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures

and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of

handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children

are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his

instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he

instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

" Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint, . Forrest, Marjorie, daughter,

patron saint, Cecilia. Rudledge, , twins, patron saint, give her Gerard.

He's used to profanity. "

Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles, " Give her a handicapped

child. "

The angel is curious. " Why this one, God? She's so happy. "

" Exactly, " says God. " Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not

know laughter? That would be cruel. "

" But has she patience? " asks the angel.

" I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of

self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it.

I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so

rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has

his own world. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be

easy. "

" But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you. "

God smiles. " No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough

selfishness. "

The angel gasps, " Selfishness? Is that a virtue? "

God nods. " If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll

never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than

perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never

take for granted a 'spoken word.' She will never consider a 'step' ordinary.

When her child says 'Momma'* for the first time, she will be present at a

miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child,

she will see it as few people ever see my creations. "

" I will permit her to see clearly the things I see . . . ignorance, cruelty,

prejudice . . . and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I

will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing

my work as surely as she is here by my side. "

" And what about her patron saint? " asks the angel, pen poised midair. God

smiles. " A mirror will suffice. "