Re: Allergic to my children :-P

[Guest guest]

I suspect this may be why my mother would not hug or cuddle me, and why autistic

kids can't stand it. I am glad you at least try to give her some hugging and

cuddling and explain to her its you, not her. My mother left me with the idea I

was trash because she would not cuddle or hug me AT ALL. If I tried to climb in

her lap she would immediately shove me off. If I tried to hug her she would push

me away. Once I touched her arm and I watched her skin crawl. She wanted me to

go play by myself all the time and leave her alone. I was not even allowed to

have friends in, or go in anyone else's house because then " we'd have to

reciprocate. " She also could not stand the sound of my voice. Oxytocin is ALSO a

hormone. If one is low in adrenals and thyroid, that one might be low too.

Oxytocin is what makes us enjoy touching and being touched. It also helps facial

recognition and in reading facial expressions. I am face blind and mood blind.

Hensley

Posted by: " Cherie " said " . Sometimes, I just can't stand to have anyone

touching me and my 6 year old is constantly wanting to be in my lap or

hugging me. I just do the very best I can addn when I can't take it anymore

I explain to her that my skin feels weird and needs a break. She seems to

understand. "

Rie

[Guest guest]

Oh, Liz, that makes me want to give you a hug right now. How sad for both of

you. I do enjoy cuddling with my children, it's just that part of the time

my skin feels like it's on overload and I don't want anyone touching me. I

agree that touch is very important and since it is so important to my

youngest, I want to be able to do that for her whenever she needs it. I

worked with autistic kids for 10 years and they really varied on what they

needed and liked as far as touching goes. Some only wanted very minimal

touch, but they would instigate it or respond IF you did it on their terms.

It was still important to them, it just might be a much lighter touch and

not as often as others might prefer. One child I worked with needed/wanted

lots of pressure and touching. When he was younger he would sit and cuddle

with me in a chair for long periods of time. When he was older, he would ask

for me to squeeze his head or would try to get me to step on his fingers. I

would squeeze his head,b ut refused to step on his fingers. Instead we would

do a sort of deep massage on his hands and arms that he really seemed to

enjoy.

Rie

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy

enough people to make it worth the effort. Herm Albright

> I suspect this may be why my mother would not hug or cuddle me,

> and why autistic kids can't stand it. I am glad you at least try

> to give her some hugging and cuddling and explain to her its you,

> not her. My mother left me with the idea I was trash because she

> would not cuddle or hug me AT ALL. If I tried to climb in her lap

> she would immediately shove me off. If I tried to hug her she

> would push me away. Once I touched her arm and I watched her skin

> crawl. She wanted me to go play by myself all the time and leave

> her alone. I was not even allowed to have friends in, or go in

> anyone else's house because then " we'd have to reciprocate. " She

> also could not stand the sound of my voice. Oxytocin is ALSO a

> hormone. If one is low in adrenals and thyroid, that one might be

> low too. Oxytocin is what makes us enjoy touching and being

> touched. It also helps facial recognition and in reading facial

> expressions. I am face blind and mood blind.

>

>

No virus found in this outgoing message.

Checked by AVG Free Edition.

Version: 7.5.516 / Virus Database: 269.20.4/1276 - Release Date: 2/13/2008

9:41 AM

[Guest guest]

Re: Allergic to my children :-P

Posted by: " Cherie " hspurplemom@... riebie311

Thanks for understanding, my mother, those kids and me.

I am very worried about the Autism Epidemic: The Next Generation.

So many of us want to have kids of our own. We really do have so much to give.

But my mother was proof, a lot of us should not be doing that. I know I could

not have been a decent mother. I worry and try to point out the coming problem,

because there will be one!

Hensley <>< 8-)

Wed Feb 13, 2008 8:27 pm (PST)

Oh, Liz, that makes me want to give you a hug right now. How sad for both of

you. I do enjoy cuddling with my children, it's just that part of the time

my skin feels like it's on overload and I don't want anyone touching me. I

agree that touch is very important and since it is so important to my

youngest, I want to be able to do that for her whenever she needs it. I

worked with autistic kids for 10 years and they really varied on what they

needed and liked as far as touching goes. Some only wanted very minimal

touch, but they would instigate it or respond IF you did it on their terms.

It was still important to them, it just might be a much lighter touch and

not as often as others might prefer. One child I worked with needed/wanted

lots of pressure and touching. When he was younger he would sit and cuddle

with me in a chair for long periods of time. When he was older, he would ask

for me to squeeze his head or would try to get me to step on his fingers. I

would squeeze his head,b ut refused to step on his fingers. Instead we would

do a sort of deep massage on his hands and arms that he really seemed to

enjoy.

Rie

[Guest guest]

>

> I suspect this may be why my mother would not hug or cuddle me, and

> why autistic kids can't stand it. I am glad you at least try to

> give her some hugging and cuddling and explain to her its you, not

> her. My mother left me with the idea I was trash because she would

> not cuddle or hug me AT ALL. If I tried to climb in her lap she

> would immediately shove me off. If I tried to hug her she would

> push me away. Once I touched her arm and I watched her skin crawl.

> She wanted me to go play by myself all the time and leave her

> alone. I was not even allowed to have friends in, or go in anyone

> else's house because then " we'd have to reciprocate. " She also

> could not stand the sound of my voice. Oxytocin is ALSO a hormone.

> If one is low in adrenals and thyroid, that one might be low too.

> Oxytocin is what makes us enjoy touching and being touched. It also

> helps facial recognition and in reading facial expressions. I am

> face blind and mood blind.

Oh God this makes an awful sense to me and I'm feeling quite

miserable about it right now.

I have always hated being touched. DH has always said I'm an Aspie

which I thought explained my face-blindness & inability to make eye

contact but I've never really agreed with him and now it seems it's

just plain old adrenal fatigue. WHen DD#1 was little I suddenly

realised the lengths I would go to to avoid touching her. If she

came and sat next to me, I would get up and move away. Thank God I

noticed what I was doing.

AF is blindingly obviously the family disease. Me, my sister, my dad

& his sister. Wasn't sure about my mother until I read the above,

now I'm sure she has it too - so no wonder they passed it on to their

kids. She never touched me except to hit me, absolutely hated me -

well, hated all of us - hated the sound of my voice, hated the sight

of me, hated my being in the house but wouldn't let me out or have

anyone visit.

And now I can hear my toddler crying in her bed and I am so glad

because it means I can go and give her a cuddle.

Rosie/5