Re: Re: My Son ph...............................

[Guest guest]

ML ... thank you for reading my words as they were intended...to be helpful and caring.

You can belabor this forever ML...and run your brain crazy with suppositions and memories and rehearsals until you get paralysis of analysis!

It appears obvious Sonny had a troubled life. I feel compassion for all of you.

Can you let him go and keep praying for him??

Give yourself some Peace in your remaining years...

MamaSher, age 70. IPF 3-06, OR. NasturtiumsDon't fret about tomorrow, God is already there!

My Son ph...............................> > > Today is my Son ph's 54th birthday. He left here to move to > Missoula, MT a year ago August after he found out I was terminally > ill with PF. He also left in 1981 in Virginia Beach ( was just > divorced) at the time when I had just had a breast removed from > cancer. He and his Dad came to the hospital day after my breast > surgery and never saw my Son again for 10 years. He disappeared off > the face of the earth. Didn't want the responsibility of anything to > do with my illness. Again, Earl (I was dating him then) and my > daughtr were the only ones who could help me through the 1 yr. > of chemo. It was awful.> > Ten years later I found my son (can't devulge how) and I paid for a > bus trip from CA to SD for him to come and see me. Earl and I were > married then and he stayed for a week. It was then 8 more years I > didn't know where he was, never contacted us or . Then in 1995 > when we moved here to Richmond, I found him again "persistent > fighter" I am, and paid for another plane ticket ( sharing the > cost) for him to come for a week. It was so difficult to ask him > much as he was always a very sensitive person and private soul. > Again, silence on the other end of his and our life until he called > in 2005 and said he wanted to come to see us. He bought his own bus > ticket from Grants Pass OR and stayed with his sister and her husband > here as we didn't have room. So he got a job as a Security Guard at > the Stony Park Fashion Park here (mall) and kept that job, moved into > an apt with some dude he didn't know, then last July he got fired > from his job, then he came over to our apt one morning and asked Earl > if he would drive him to the bus station. For 2 years while he was > here, he was using my car, an old crown vic we had as a spare. 1986. > After he left we sold it. He just up and left on the bus, moving to > a place he had never been before, we didn't hear from him for a year, > then last year, Jan we got an email from him. He had a job at the > mall. He lives in a motel.> > TODAY IS JOSEPH'S 54TH BIRTHDAY AND I FINALLY REALIZED WHEN I WROTE > THAT EARLIER POST TODAY ABOUT GOD TAKING ME HOME AND SEEING MY > GRANDKIDS FROM PA THAT I NEVER SEE, IT DAWNED ON ME THAT THEY > REMINDED ME OF MY OWN SON WHOM I HAVE MISSED IN MY LIFE FOR SO SO SO > MANY YEARS. My son who we always called "Sonny" had been very heavy > on my mind and in my heart this last week, him knowing of my PF and > also my up coming surgeries and my detached retinal surgery last > March has never said a thing about how I am, how are you, or > anything, Just ignores all of it. WHY? We can't figure it out. It > has not been very fun for me for the that 26 years he has been gone > because he wanted to. I can't judge him, but he can only think of > his family the way he wants to and we have to accept that.> > Any suggestions to help me get through this horrible mountain in my > heart? I know we can't help him anymore, we have tried, but each > time he disappears.> > I LOVE YOU THIS DAY> MARY LOU RICHMOND> IPF - 02>