Guest guest Posted May 5, 2011 Report Share Posted May 5, 2011 Thoughts to Ponder... *I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. And tomorrow isn't looking good either. *I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. *Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege. *Young at Heart. Slightly Older in Other Places. *Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the hell is the ceiling?!" *Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I will show you a man who can't get his pants off! *We have a strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful, or should that be I'm strange and you're wonderful? *Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid doing altogether. *If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? *It's gonna be like threading a needle with a haystack. *The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. *Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know? *Not one shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious. *The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets. *I put the "fun" in dysfunctional. *Life is like a box of chocolates. It's full of nuts. *All I ask is that you treat me no differently than you would the Queen. *Does "anal retentive" have a hyphen? *I get plenty of exercise -- jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines. *Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me. *Does vacuuming count as Aerobic Exercise? *I have not yet begun to procrastinate. *I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier. *I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. *Just remember, no matter where you go, there you are. -- *It is much easier to apologize than to ask permission. *There are two rules for ultimate success in life. 1. Never tell everything you know. *Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you................ *I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode. *When I get to where I'm going, will somebody please tell me where I am? *Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it. *Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. *Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. *The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. *Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will Whiz on your computer. *Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 7, 2011 Report Share Posted May 7, 2011 LOL... I enjoyed this! SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. To: Open Your Mind egroup <Open-your-mind >Sent: Thu, May 5, 2011 3:50:48 PMSubject: Thoughts to Ponder... Thoughts to Ponder... *I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. And tomorrow isn't looking good either. *I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. *Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege. *Young at Heart. Slightly Older in Other Places. *Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the hell is the ceiling?!" *Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I will show you a man who can't get his pants off! *We have a strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful, or should that be I'm strange and you're wonderful? *Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid doing altogether. *If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? *It's gonna be like threading a needle with a haystack. *The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. *Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know? *Not one shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious. *The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets. *I put the "fun" in dysfunctional. *Life is like a box of chocolates. It's full of nuts. *All I ask is that you treat me no differently than you would the Queen. *Does "anal retentive" have a hyphen? *I get plenty of exercise -- jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines. *Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me. *Does vacuuming count as Aerobic Exercise? *I have not yet begun to procrastinate. *I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier. *I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. *Just remember, no matter where you go, there you are. -- *It is much easier to apologize than to ask permission. *There are two rules for ultimate success in life. 1. Never tell everything you know. *Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you................ *I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode. *When I get to where I'm going, will somebody please tell me where I am? *Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it. *Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. *Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. *The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. *Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will Whiz on your computer. *Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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