Rights of Age or Illness or Disability or Just Because

[Guest guest]

I've read a few posts recently talking about what one couldn't do or had

to have others do over the holidays and while I know its sometimes

frustrating, it's something we all need to find a way to not let it

impact us. As my mother aged, or my ex mother in law or father in law, I

learned to accept their rights. Rights to do things I thought made no

sense. Rights to do nothing if they chose. To just accept. So, I'm doing

the same with myself although not near the ages they were. I encourage

each of you to consider these " rights " .

My rights:

I've worked hard during my life and this is my time. Mine. To make the

best of in whatever way I can and see fit. It's my retirement although

forced but at an earlier age than anticipated and perhaps shorter and

ultimately more limited than hoped. I do what I can and I have no reason

to apologize to anyone about that I can't do or to feel guilty or bad

about it. Those who matter to me want me for myself and who I am, not

what I can do.

I get out and about when I can. I stay in and recover on the next day or

days if needed. I depend on others for help. I helped others all my

life. This is their chance. I don't think of it as a burden when done

reasonably but rather as allowing them the feeling of giving. I've

traveled and gotten help from strangers and I've seen them light up and

feel good about providing it.

I find the simplest ways I can do to things. I get someone in to hang

pictures or drapes or do small things like that. I simplify my

Thanksgiving meal by eating out or by purchasing precooked from the

grocery. I actually had a great turkey breast at no more cost than had I

cooked it and far better than most I had for years at my wife's aunt's

house.

I'm going to enjoy these days to the best of my ability and that means

making no apologies to myself or others about limitations that I in no

way brought on to myself. I still do small things to help others but not

very physical things. I listen and talk. I'm their confidant. I'm here

for them as they are here for me. Because things no longer center around

doing such active or exerting things, they can center more around

quality time together.

I'm going to protect myself from overdoing it, from unreasonable

expectations, from germs and risk, and from those who are emotionally or

otherwise unhealthy for me. I choose carefully and I set boundaries more

appropriately than ever before in my life.

I have a right not to perfect health, wealth or happiness from material

or physical things but I do have a right of peace and enjoyment as well

as my condition allows. I'm going to unabashedly assert that right.