Autism, Adolescence & Preparing for Adulthood

February 1, 2011

Autism Newsletter

Articles Resources Books Teaching Tools DVDs Music February 2011

Proudly brought to you by www.AutismTeachingTools.net & www.AutismResourceCenterofSouthFlorida.com

February 2011

Happy Valentine´s Day!

Topic This Month

Adolescence & Preparing for Adulthood

Member Articles

Brave New World: 13 Things to Keep in Mind as Your Child with ASD Reaches AdolescenceBy Chantal Sicile-Kira

Living with a child on the autism spectrum day after day, parents often miss the little changes that are so typical of all kids’ development. One day I looked at my son, , and realized he was already up to my chin. And what was that – facial hair? His behavior started to change as well. As a young child he’d always been compliant; we spent years trying to teach him to say “no” and mean it. So I was thrilled when he just didn’t want to do what we wanted him to do anymore.

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Books for Teens with Autism/Aspergers

Click here to view all books about Aspergers

The Aspie Teen's

Survival Guide:

Candid Advice for Teens, Tweens, and Parents

The teenage years are a time when being social is the #1 priority for kids. But for kids with Asperger's, who have acute social challenges, these years can be the most difficult, confusing time in their lives. Enter J. D. Kraus, a young man who has been there, done that! He offers practical advice to his peers so they can get the most out of middle school and high school, both academically and socially. From sensory sensitivity to awkwardness, dating to driving, he tackles it all!

Price: $19.95

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Asperger's Syndrome and Adolescence: Helping Preteens & Teens Get Ready for the Real World

Sex. Slang. Slumber parties. The preoccupations of adolescents with Asperger’s Syndrome are no different than those of other teens, but they can be much more confusing. The lack of social skills and ability to grasp conversational nuances make adolescence the most difficult life stage, especially for young adults with AS. Child psychologist Bolick presents strategies for helping the ten to eighteen-year-old achieve happiness and success by maximizing the benefits of AS and minimizing the drawbacks. Along the way, you’ll be inspired by success stories of dozens of AS teens.

Price: $14.95

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Books for Parents of Adolescents with Autism/Aspergers

Click here to view all books about Adolescents

Adolescents

on the Autism Spectrum

A Parent's Guide to the Cognitive, Social, Physical, and Transitional Needs

of Teenagers with Autism Spectrum Disorders

Using clear examples, practical advice, and supportive insights, this book covers: health risks such as seizures and depression; treatments, therapies, and teaching strategies; teaching skills to cope with puberty, self-care, and social skills; teenage emotions, sexuality, appropriate relationships, and dating; middle school, high school, and developing Individual Educational Programs; and preparing for life after high school.

Price: $14.95

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Asperger's in Pink:

A Mother & Daughter Guidebook

Join author and mom as she shares her "Pink Pearls of Wisdom" from "Inside the Bubble" of raising a daughter with Asperger's! On the way you'll be delighted and intrigued by candid commentary from her daughter a, whose spirit and perseverance outweigh any obstacle she may face.

Price: $14.95

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Curriculum/Inclusive Programming

Click here to view all books on curriculum and teacher resources

S.T.A.R.S.

Educate young adults and build their

self-esteem so they can make informed choices! Specially designed for teaching adolescents and adults with developmental disabilities, the STARS model focuses on four areas: Understanding Relationships, Social Skills Training, Sexual Awareness, and Assertiveness—with the goals of promoting positive sexuality and preventing sexual abuse. Assessment

tools help identify the strengths and needs of each individual, and then the activities can be catered to address specific needs.

Price: $19.95

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Inclusive Programming

for High School Students

with Autism or Asperger's Syndrome

This comprehensive guide will help you give your child or student the best possible high school experience. You will learn how to help students navigate the social minefields of friendships and dating, while fostering the executive functioning skills they will need as adults.

Price: $24.95

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Inclusive Programming

for Middle School Students

with Autism or Asperger's Syndrome

Middle school presents unique challenges to those with autism / Asperger’s, but it can also be exciting and rewarding. Inclusive Programming addresses transitioning to and from middle school, and everything in between: hormones, cliques, bullying, aggression, and “fitting in.” The ingredients for success are pre-planning, frequent monitoring of progress, teacher training, and regular communication between all concerned. Add committed teachers, peer mentors/tutors, sensible allowances for individual students’ needs (extra test time, visual/oral format, concrete language, less or different homework, sensory issues, social skills training) as called for, and you have a recipe for success.

Price: $24.95

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Career Planning Guides

Click here to view all books on Career Planning

Preparing for Life

ASD high school graduates may be

unprepared for the transition to independence. Early, ongoing training in the social skills is crucial to establishing successful adult relationships in college, vocational school, residential living, or on the job. This book contains 73 “Skill Lessons” targeting conversational skills, nonverbal communication, empathy, anger/anxiety management, and employment-related skills which can be taught by parents, teachers, or professionals.

Price: $34.95

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Asperger's on the Job

This book is great for people with Asperger's and employers of people with Asperger's, as well as educators, family members, job coaches, counselors, psychologists, coworkers, autism organizations, disability offices, and many more.

Price: $19.95

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Developing Talents

Author(s): Temple Grandin, Kate Duffy

This career planning guide is written specifically for high-functioning adolescents and young adults on the autism spectrum, and their families, teachers, and counselors. This extremely useful and practical book introduces step-by-step processes for the job search with a major section on the impact ASD has in the workplace, including managing sensory problems, how to nurture and turn talents and special interests into paid work, jobs that are particularly suited to individuals on the spectrum, and much more.Price: $19.95

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Books on Hygiene/Sexuality

Click here to view all books on Sexuality

Taking Care of Myself:

A Hygiene, Puberty,

and Personal Curriculum

for Young People

with Autism

Puberty can be especially tough when young people have autism or other special needs. This book addresses hygiene, modesty, body growth and development, menstruation, touching, personal safety, and more. Young students can benefit from self-care skills such as using the toilet, brushing teeth, and washing hands.

Price: $24.95

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Autism Asperger’s

and Sexuality

Many people on the spectrum never get “the talk” from their parents, and suffer from “information deficit.” This book goes a long way toward filling in the gaps in their knowledge. It takes a candid look at aspects of sex and relationships as they apply to people on the autism spectrum

Price: $19.95

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Asperger’s and Girls

Winner of the Gold Award in the 2006 ForeWord Book of the Year competition, this groundbreaking book describes the unique challenges of women and girls with Asperger’s Syndrome. This book includes practical solutions school systems can implement for girls; social tips for teenage girls, navigating puberty, the transition to work or university, and the importance of careers.

Price: $19.95

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Loving Mr. Spock

If you love someone with Asperger’s, or have Asperger’s yourself, you can learn a lot from this book. Note: This book addresses some mature topics.

Price: $19.95

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Making Sense of Sex

This book is ideal for those who need clear explanations and direct answers to the many questions raised by puberty and sexual maturity. Attwood describes developments in both the male and female body, and explains how to maintain hygiene and promote good health. She examines emotional changes, offers coping strategies for different social experiences, and includes essential behavior tips. Parental guidance recommended.

Price: $19.95

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Living Fully with Autism/Aspergers

Click here to view all First Person Accounts

Your Life is Not a Label

A Guide to Living Fully with Autism and Asperger's Syndrome for Parents, Professionals and You! Don’t believe you must be “normal” to be happy; learn to co-exist with “neuro-typicals,” and become the best human being you can be.

Price: $19.95

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Young Adult Package

Click here to view all Specialty Packages

Young Adult Package

Author(s): Temple Grandin, Barron, Jed Baker, Jerry Newport,

Barbara s & Norm Ledgin

One of the questions we hear most often at conferences is, “What do you have for older kids?” Well, here is your answer! People with autism grow up and continually face different challenges as the years pass, as we all do. These books offer you expert advice, helpful tools, and the power of retrospect and experience.

Price: $305.00

Click here to learn more...

Member Articles

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Brave New World: 13 Things to Keep in Mind as Your Child with ASD Reaches AdolescenceBy Chantal Sicile-Kira

Autism and adolescence: each on their own can be interesting and challenging, to say the least. Together, they form a volatile mix that can arouse daily anxiety in even the most prepared adult. If you live with or work with a pre-teen or teen with an autism spectrum diagnosis, attention to the following 13 points can help you and your child navigate those years a little more smoothly. One caveat: it doesn’t matter the functioning level of your child with autism or Asperger’s; everything here applies. You’ll work them out differently depending upon his or her cognitive, emotional and/or communication abilities, but don’t overlook them, thinking they don’t relate to you child. They do!

1. Noncompliance: it may not be autism, it may be adolescence. Whether or not they have autism, there’s a definite ‘shift’ in behavior and personality when children turn into teenagers. Wanting your attention changes to wanting their independence. For kids on the spectrum, this behavior change may look like non-compliance; they don’t follow through on your requests as before. But it’s actually a normal part of their development, entirely aside from their autism. As a parent it’s important to support your teen as he struggles to become his own person, and even though it may be hard to appreciate, this is a positive development. After years of being taught to do as he is told, your teen needs to start learning that it is acceptable at times to say ‘No,’ or he might find himself in dangerous situations with peers or others looking for an easy victim to prey upon.

2. Teenagers need to learn to make their own choices. Giving choices to your growing teen will teach him about decision making and accepting the consequences of his choice (good and bad), as well as help him realize he will eventually have more control over his own life. This applies no matter what the functioning level of the child. Offer him choices, regularly, and abide by the choice he makes. Remember, as he gets older he will want and need to be more involved in his life and his transition planning. By letting him make choices now (within your parameters at first) you are teaching him valuable life skills.

3. Chores teach responsibility. At any age, it’s good to teach children that being part of a group (whether it is a family, a work group, or a community) brings with it a certain level of responsibility. If your pre-teen has somehow been exempt from chores and group responsibility, let this slide no longer. Teens need to learn that living in a house with other people entails responsibilities as well as pleasures. Chores teach the teen to be responsible for himself, to live independently, as well as foster self-worth and self-esteem. ALL individuals with autism can be taught to contribute at some level. Do make sure your child has opportunities to do so.

4. Watch out for seizures. One of every four teenagers with ASD will develop seizures during puberty. Although the exact reason is not known, this seizure activity may be due to hormonal changes in the body. For many the seizures are small and sub-clinical, and are typically not detected by simple observation. Some signs that a teen may be experiencing sub-clinical seizures include making little or no academic gains after doing well during childhood and preteen years, losing behavioral and/or cognitive gains, or exhibiting behavior problems such as self injury, aggression and severe tantruming.

5. Talk to your child about his/her changing body. Imagine how scary it must be to realize your body is going through some strange metamorphosis, you don’t know why and there is nothing you can do about it. Whether your child has Asperger’s Syndrome and has sat through hygiene classes at school, or he is more impacted by autism and you’re not sure how much he understands, it is important to discuss the changing male and female body in a simple way he can understand. Otherwise, your teen may be overly anxious and agitated when she starts menstruating or when he has wet dreams. Visuals that include photos or drawings and simple words may be helpful, especially at the beginning. Be concrete and don’t overwhelm – this is certainly not a one-time talk!

6. Masturbation: a fact of life. Let’s face it; masturbation is a normal activity that almost all teenagers engage in. Once discovered, it is an activity hard to stop, especially for individuals who enjoy self-stimulatory activities and can be obsessive compulsive, as are many people on the autism spectrum. The best approach is teaching your teen that this is a private activity to be done only in private at home, in a designed place such as his bedroom or bathroom.

7. Relationships and sexuality: topics that need to be discussed. Sexuality is a topic that most parents are not comfortable discussing with their children, even their neurotypical teens. However, it is necessary to talk to your teen on the spectrum about sex and the many types of relationships that exist between people. It is naïve of parents to think that because their child has autism s/he won’t need this information. Teens talk, and invariably your child will be hearing about it from their NT peers at school. Whatever the functioning level of your child, he needs to be taught about appropriate/inappropriate greetings, touch and language when interacting with members of the opposite or same sex. Don’t leave this important part of his social-emotional development to locker room education.

8. Self-regulation is important for life as an adult. An important skill for every teen to learn is the ability to control his or her reactions to emotional feelings and sensory overload. Hopefully, by the time they are teens your child or student has learned to recognize their feelings and impending emotional or sensory overload, and ways to handle the situation. In school this could mean practicing self-calming techniques or signaling to the aide or teacher they need a break and having a ‘safe place’ or quiet room to go to. At home, teens should have their own quiet spot to retreat to when overwhelmed. And parents: respect their need to do so!

9. Self-esteem is the foundation for success. While children are young, start building this foundation by emphasizing strengths rather than weaknesses. If your child with ASD, no matter what his age, has low self-esteem pay attention to the messages he is receiving from people around him at home, at school and in the community. In all likelihood, the message he is hearing is that he can’t do anything right. Teens need to be told when they are acting, responding and communicating appropriately, as well as that their (considerable) efforts to do so are appreciated. Where there are challenges, it is up to us, as the adults in their lives, to help them find strategies to be effective. Teens can be at high risk for depression. Parents should ensure their teen knows they are valued and loved under all circumstances, not just when they ‘get it right.’

10. Self-advocacy is required for independence. Eventually your teen will be living away from home and will not be under your protection. He needs to know how to speak up for himself. Start this training while he is in school. IDEA 2004 mandates that students be invited to participate in transition planning and this supportive environment can be good ‘training ground.’ Make sure your teen is aware of his strengths and weaknesses and how he is different from others. In this way the teen can gain a real-life understanding of areas he may need to improve upon or that require assistance from others, and areas in which he is proficient, or that are his strong points to build upon.

11. Bullying is a serious problem and should be treated as such. Bullying can range from verbal taunts to physical encounters. At any level it is not an individual problem, but a school problem. Unless your child’s school strongly enforces a no-bullying policy from the principal on down, your teen may have a difficult time. Teens on the spectrum are poor at picking up social cues, understanding ulterior motives, sarcasm, and predicting behaviors in others. As such, they unknowingly put themselves in unsafe situations. At other times their unconventional grooming or dress, often stilted language and rule-bound obsessions can render them targeted victims. Ensure your teen learns the meaning of non-verbal behaviors and the hidden curriculum (i.e. the unstated rules in social situations). Enlist the help of a neurotypical teen or sibling when shopping for clothes or getting a new hairstyle so your teen has at least a semblance of ‘fitting in’ with his peer group.

12. The Individualized Transition Plan (ITP) is your teenager’s business plan for the future. Second only to the early intervention years, the transition years in high school are the most important years in your child’s educational life. Skills your teen needs to learn to survive and thrive as an adult, in adult settings, should be the focus of this time in school. The ITP, mandated through federal special education law, is the roadmap for your teen’s future. Once your child graduates or ages out of high school, mandated services are few and programs have waiting lists that extend into years. Spend time (and include your child as much as possible) thinking about what he wants to be doing when high school ends, and 5-10 years from now. Then plan how he will get there and what skills will be needed. This “futures planning” should drive the ITP, with individual goals written into his IEP.

13. Parents, you need to take time out for yourself; it’s good for your child too. With all the responsibilities you have as a parent of an adolescent on the spectrum, you need to take some time out for yourself. Whether it is a short break you take every day to go for a walk, exercise or engage in a favorite activity, or a weekly evening out with your significant other, you need to recharge your batteries. This is also positive modeling for your pre-teen and teen. It teaches that life can be stressful and overwhelming at times for all of us, and that we need to develop ways to manage our stress, and enjoy life, not just live it.

Just the other day I was looking around the house for , who is now 17. I knocked on his bedroom door. He opened the door a crack, one of his Guitar World magazines in hand. I could hear Panic at the Disco playing in the background. “Go away, Mom,” he said, and I did, with a little smile on my face. is significantly impacted by his autism. Yet moments such as this remind me that he is first and foremost a teenager, with his own personality, his own wants and wishes. He’s on the road to becoming his own person, figuring things out in preparation for adulthood. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

BIOChantal Sicile-Kira is author of Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum and the award-winning Autism Spectrum Disorders. She provides consultations on adolescence and work issues, and hosts a weekly program on Autism One Radio. For more information, visit http://www.chantalsicile-kira.comReprinted

Reprinted with permission, Autism Asperger’s Digest, Sept/Oct 2006 issue. www.autismdigest.com.

His Own Best AdvocateA 10 year-old Boy Talks to his 4th Grade Class About AutismBy Pamela LePage

My son was eight years old when he came home one day from summer camp crying - bawling really - and said to me, “Why doesn’t anyone like me? Why do other kids have lots of friends and I don’t have any friends? What is wrong with me?”

I told him there was nothing wrong with him, but there was a reason he had trouble making friends; he was autistic. “What is that?” he asked. I told him he saw the world differently, he liked different things, and he talked about things in a different way. This made perfect sense to him because he knew it was true.

Fourth grade is a turning point for children; they start becoming aware of social status and peer group pressures. During this year children started rejecting my son even more than they had in the past. As a result, he was having more trouble getting along with other children in his class.

I asked Garrett if he wanted someone to talk to his class about autism. As a professor of special education, I knew this was a technique people used to bridge the gap between children with autism and their peers, though I believe inclusion works best when it’s embedded in a school’s philosophy and structure. Still, when Garrett told me he wanted someone to talk to his class about autism, I agreed to help.

I talked to his teacher and principal, and both were resistant. The principal said they did not want someone coming into the class and excusing Garrett’s behaviors. I was appalled. My son had no behavior problems. Obviously, the school viewed Garrett’s social disabilities as behavior problems and his relationship deficits as his fault.

Still, there was more to it; the school officials were caught off guard. This was the first time a 10 year-old child had asked to be singled out as autistic. Usually, the school’s policy was just to pretend everyone had challenges and therefore everyone was the same. Isn’t the school supposed to avoid mentioning the word “autism?”

After a few discussions the principal and the teacher finally agreed to my request and told me they would look for someone to do a presentation. I waited and waited until I started getting worried because Garrett’s class was getting ready for their 4th grade camping trip. Garrett was so excited about the trip; I didn’t want him to be disappointed and walk away from this experience with bad memories.

I asked Pamela Wolfberg, an expert in autism and a personal friend, for advice. She suggested I ask McCracken, creator of the Friend 2 Friend (F2F) social learning program, to talk to the class. The F2F program helps typically developing peers understand and connect with children who have autism. I also asked Garrett’s teacher from his integrated video socialization group at the Autism Social Connection in San Francisco to help. Both agreed.

When everyone told me the presentation went well, the kids loved , the videos were a hit, and the teacher was impressed, I was relieved. And, when they told me that Garrett got up and told his class he was autistic, I almost cried. I was so proud.

Garrett made it through his camping trip without incident. He had a great time and, even better, he was not teased. I warned him, however, he shouldn’t expect things to change overnight.

As the year dragged on, I kept asking Garrett if things were better in his class. He would shrug his shoulders and say, “I guess so.” Things did seem better. He didn’t complain as much, but he still didn’t seem happy.Soon a substitute took over Garrett’s class, when his regular teacher left for maternity leave. Garrett seemed to connect better with this new teacher, but his relationships with the children in his class still seemed strained. warned me we needed to follow up and I knew that was true.Things must have been brewing because only a few days passed before Garrett surprised me on our walk home by saying, “This was the best day I ever had at school.”

“Why?” I asked. He told me he finally sat down and talked to his class about his autism all by himself. “Really?” I said. “What did you say? What happened?”

I got some detais from Garrett and the rest from his teacher. It seems that Garrett had a conflict with a boy in his class and crawled onto a table (I take it to do bodily harm to the child on the other side of the table). According to Garrett, the boy was teasing him. The teacher took Garrett and the other boy outside. She listened to Garrett first, and then talked to the other boy. When the teacher came back inside the other kids were laughing at Garrett because they thought he was joking around on top of the table. The teacher took Garrett outside again and he told her that someday he wanted to talk to the class about his autism again, and she asked, “Well, how about now?” To her surprise, he agreed.

She told me Garrett talked to the class for about an hour. Garrett told the class that he flapped his arms and whispered under his breath, but that he couldn’t help it. He said he was trying to stop, but it was hard. The kids asked him a lot of questions about autism. One child said she thought kids with autism went to different schools. Another kid said it was good that Garrett was smart enough to go to their school. A few others told him they thought it was “cool” that he could memorize all the names of directors of different movies. Garrett was surprised that the children knew a bit about him and acknowledged some of his talents, even though sometimes he had trouble with schoolwork.

The teacher was amazed that Garrett was so articulate and knew so much about autism. She was also surprised that he was so self-aware. It almost made me cry again when she said that Garrett told the kids this was the most important day of his life.

A few days later, I asked Garrett how the kids were treating him. He told me they now seemed to care about him and understand his difficulties. When I asked again at the end of the year, he said they still cared. Garrett changed these children; even I noticed a difference.

A few days ago, my son asked me straight out: did I wish I had a child without autism rather than a kid like himself with autism? I thought about this very carefully. When he started to show signs of autism between 2-3 years old, I was worried about him and how his life might turn out (unhappy). But, my son is becoming his own best advocate. I can’t imagine how I could be any more proud of him. I am proud of who Garrett is now, and the man he is becoming. I told him I was happy he was my son and I wouldn’t want him to be anyone else. I love him, and I like him, just the way he is!

Garrett’s suggestions to kids who want to talk to their class about autism

1. Tell your teacher you want to talk to the class about autism and pick a good time.

2. Ask the teacher to be present in case you get asked a question you don’t know how to answer; your teacher can help.

3. When I talked in front of the class the teacher told the other kids that if they laughed they would have to leave the room. That made me feel better. Ask the teacher what she will do if the kids laugh.

4. Don’t feel afraid to tell kids what you don’t do well because you think they will tease you. I was afraid at first about telling them, but it wasn’t so bad.

5. Don’t be afraid to ask your parents if you want them to come too.

6. Don’t be afraid to tell kids about what makes you mad. The first time adults talked to my class about autism, they only talked about what kids with autism did well. You should also talk about what makes you mad. I wish I told my class that sometimes when they help me do things it makes me mad. I get a bit jealous because I wish I could do those things myself, and I sometimes say pouty words.

BIODr. Pamela LePage is an Associate Professor of Special Education at San Francisco State University. Her research is in teacher education. Before earning a Ph.D. she was a special education teacher for 11 years. Pamela and Garrett welcome comments at plepage@....

Reprinted with permission, Autism Asperger’s Digest, Jan/Feb 2009 issue. www.autismdigest.com.

Developing Dating and Relationship SkillsBy McIlwee Myers

Please allow me to introduce myself. I am a forty-one-year-old woman with Asperger’s Syndrome, and I have been happily married for thirteen years. Despite (or because of) the many issues related to growing up with undiagnosed AS, I’ve learned quite a bit about relationships, both from good research and my own experience.

Relationships and dating can be quite difficult when you have AS. Dating today is an odd mish-mosh of unstructured social behaviors that involve amorphous goals and much indirect communication. What is most daunting to people on the autism spectrum is not the nature of modern dating – after all, structure can be imposed if necessary.

What poses the greatest difficulty is acquiring the skills needed to date. Many people with AS, high-functioning autism, or other autism spectrum disorders don’t work on developing relationship skills until they start dating (or trying to date). Unfortunately, learning the actual dating process leaves little time and energy to work on these skills.

Being prepared with basic relationship skills can give a person with AS an “edge” which is useful in many areas. But how to develop these skills?

How To Develop Relationship SkillsThe most important skills for dealing with relationships have little to do with the traditional idea of “what to do on a date.” The single most important set of relationship skills are, in fact, friendship skills.

Many humans with AS have trouble developing basic friendship skills: the give-and-take of mutual conversation, the issue of being clean and neat so as not to stink, and other basics often elude us. The main reason we don’t develop friendship skills is that we don’t develop friendships. The main reason we don’t develop friendships is that we spend most of our childhoods exposed only to people we can’t make friends with.

Many typical peers are just not suited to aspie friendship. These typical kids go through an assorted set of rapidly discarded social skills and expectations, so that what was completely cool for the kids who were three months into sixth grade is totally geeky for kids who are five months into sixth grade. When a child with AS is expected to make sense of this constantly changing mass of unwritten, unspoken behaviors, just getting through the day is amazingly tough, never mind developing one-on-one friendships.

The best basis for friendship is common interests. The best basis for marriage is a solid base of common interests, values, and a shared idea of what married life should be like. Knowing this, take a guess: how likely is it that a teen or adult with AS is going to find someone who fits the NT profile of an appropriate friend or partner and then develop a relationship with that person?

The answer is just about nil. The good news is there are a lot of grown-up people out there, both male and female, who share the kinds of interests and ideas of fun that we aspies have. They are usually called “geeks.”So where does the single with AS meet people?

He meets them in common interest groups. There are dozens of science-fiction book clubs, model train clubs, chess societies, Sherlock Holmes reader societies, Scrabble® clubs, and other groups of dedicated geeks, wonks and nerds all over the place.

While Internet dating can be fraught with peril, the Internet is a good place to find groups that meet in the real world. Enter the special interest and your location into any decent search engine and you have a good chance of finding something.

Common special interests are the most important social tool and basis for social contacts among aspies. Read that again. And again. And again. Okay, now you can stop and go on.

You may not feel your son’s dream girl should speak fluent Klingon, but he may be happiest if they write their own vows in it. For some girls with AS, what matters most is size – the size of a fellow’s Lego® model train layout, that is.

Even if the local Jane Austen club is a little short on available men, it’s a great way to get social. If the local model train club doesn’t have any potential dates as members, the club will still provide the aspie guy or girl with a chance to develop friendships and learn to relate to other people. Even a ten-year-old with AS is more likely to make friends at such a group than at school.

And don’t forget: everyone in that model train club, Jane Austin book club, or other group will also have a family and friends. They have sisters, brothers, children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews. The granddaughter of a model railroad buff or other special interest geek is more likely than average to be “AS friendly;” she’s been programmed by genetics and upbringing either to be one or to live with them!

No special interest groups around? There is another opportunity no lonely person with AS should miss: volunteering!

When I was in my early teens, my mother got good and sick of having me mope at home all summer. She did a little research and found that I was old enough for the summer volunteer program at a local nursing home. She knew that particular home very well, as my grandfather volunteered there often.

At the nursing home, everyone was happy to see me – it was just the opposite of school. The residents liked having someone to talk to, and the nurses liked the fact that the volunteers raised the morale of the residents. My special interests of Fred Astaire movies and old-time radio shows were of much greater interest to people at the home than to any typical peer.

Just as good was the fact that I got clear but kind feedback from the volunteer supervisor, so I knew when I made social errors and got helpful suggestions to correct them. It was so great I did it for several summers, and put in more hours than any other teen volunteer!

Talk About ItThese friendship/relationship skills are something that typical folks don’t need to be told about, but we with AS do. Teens (and many adults) with AS need to be told out loud about these chances for developing skills, and that these skills apply in more than one place.Tell your child, out loud, that when you learn to interact with one person, you learn important things about interacting with humans in general.My mom always made it clear that dating wasn’t about “finding Mr. Right.” She must have told me dozens of times, “Dating is a process. It’s about interacting with a variety of people and learning. You learn about that person, and also about what works and doesn’t work for you in interactions. That’s how you learn about people and about yourself.”

It took me a long and roundabout route to get where I am today, but these facts, frequently stated by my mother, made it less circuitous and much less painful than it might have been. You can’t prevent all mistakes and you can’t save your child from every heartache, but you can give him or her a push in the right direction.

Dysfunctional Relationship IdeasUnfortunately, the world we live in is full of silly, strange, and just plain bad relationship concepts. Parents, teachers, and psychologists can help people with AS sort the good from the bad. Here are a few to watch out for.

Bad Idea 1:

All people are happier if they are dating or married than if they are single.This idea permeates our culture, despite the fact there are many routes to happiness in the world. Some people prefer being single; others are not suited to dating or long term relationships – or need time to mature and develop before they are ready for them.

Bad Idea 2:

Romantic love is the Most Important Thing.Our culture is in love with love. Movies, TV, songs and stories teach that the intense feelings that happen in the earliest phase of romantic love are so important that one should abandon all the rules of logic and self-preservation in favor of what falling in love dictates doing. Yet most of us know that people often fall deeply and sincerely “in love” with someone who turns out to be, well, less than ideal. If noone teaches us that romantic feelings can easily blind us from what is best for us, it is easy to head straight into trouble.

Certainly everyone, whether they have AS or not, should know that falling in love with someone does not in any way obligate that person to fall in love back. Sincere feelings of love can steer you wrong just as often as right.

Bad Idea 3:

Singles events, parties, and clubs are great places to meet a mate.Even the most social neurotypical is unlikely to meet a life-mate at a crowded club or stress-filled “speed dating” party. For a person with AS/HFA, the stress is tripled – not to mention that sensory issues and group events often don’t mix. Connecting to other people through book clubs, volunteer work, and other meaningful contacts can help us link up to possible mates much more sanely and safely.

BIO McIlwee Myers has both Asperger’s Syndrome and a penetrating curiosity about all things autism. She was diagnosed at the age of 36 following her younger brother’s diagnosis of autism. met her husband of the past thirteen years in a fantasy/sci fi book club. They live happily ever after, just without the fairytale.

Reprinted with permission, Autism Asperger’s Digest, July/Aug 2007 issue. www.autismdigest.com.

Does My Child Need A Guardian?

By: Minerva Vazquez , Esq.

The law presumes that people age eighteen and older are competent and able tomake their own decisions. This means that regardless of how severe your child’s disability might be, if your child is eighteen or older and does not have a guardian appointed, your child has the right to make all decisions about his or her future. This presumption of competence is only overcome by a guardianship proceeding.

A guardian is an individual or institution appointed by the court to care for an incapacitated person, called the “ward”, and/or for the ward’s assets. You may petition the court for one of the following guardianships:

Limited guardianship, limits the guardians authority to very specific types of decisions;

Plenary guardianship, also known as full guardianship, which grants broad powers to the guardian.

Guardian Advocate, similar to a limited guardianship in its effect; this type of guardianship is only available for persons with developmental disabilities.

A limited guardian or guardian advocate is most commonly used for individuals whose conditions impair some, but not all of their ability to care for themselves and/or their finances. If the ward is unable to make any decisions or perform necessary tasks on his or her own, then a plenary guardian is most often used. Courts are very reluctant to take away more rights than necessary from the ward. It is important to encourage independence of the ward by giving the guardian authority over only those activities that an individual is unable to handle.

"Serving the World's Most Deserving Clients"

Minerva Vazquez , Esq.

Special Kids Law Center

2241 Hollywood Boulevard

Hollywood, Florida 33020

Phone/Fax:

The Role of a Special Needs Trust

By: Minerva Vazquez , Esq.

The special needs trust (SNT) is the most useful estate-planning tool available for providing future financial security for persons with disabilities. A trust is a legal entity that allows a person, known as the grantor, to give something to another person or organization, known as the trustee, with qualifications that it must be used for the benefit of someone else, known as the beneficiary. A trust can accomplish some of the followingestate planning goals:

Allow the trust property to bypass probate proceedings;

Avoid the problems of direct inheritance that may jeopardize government benefits for a person with a disability;

Parents can control distribution of their property after their child’s death;

Parents can manage money properly and investing it wisely for a child with adisability.

Ordinarily, an inheritance improves a person’s lifestyle. Unfortunately, if the person receiving the inheritance has special needs, it will most likely have a negative impact on his or her lifestyle. Under current law, if a disabled individual receives more than $2,000, the individual can be disqualified from most federal needs based programs and possibly other state public assistance programs. The SNT is a legal device created tomake sure an inheritance or even a financial settlement reaches the disabled person without interfering with his or her government benefits. The disabled individual does not actually own the assets in the trust, but the trust assets can provide benefits for the person with special needs.

Assets of a SNT can be used to pay for supplemental needs the disabled person might have.

The following are some examples:

Education;

Medical & dental care beyond what is covered by government benefits;

Over-the counter medicines;

Advocates;

Legal services;

Transportation;

Developmental services;

Rehabilitation;

Recreation;

Vacations and trips;

Traveling companion;

Assistive devices;

Insurance;

Equipment;

Personal Care Assistant;

Social opportunities.

Most families fail to create trusts because they think a trust, including the SNT, is only for the wealthy population. Parents must plan their estates, regardless of size, to secure the future of their child. You do not need to be wealthy to create a SNT because there is no minimum amount of assets required to fund it. While the attorney can establish the trust for you, it is recommended that you discuss funding your SNT with a financial planner who has experience planning for the future of persons with disabilities.

nsurance;

Real estate property;

Stocks, bonds, mutual funds;

Savings;

Investments, IRAs, 401(K) plans;

Inheritances;

Gifts from family;

Parent’s estate.

In conclusion, with the proper legal and financial advice, an SNT enables parents to avoid a drastic interruption in care and do everything possible to ensure that their child will have a comfortable and fulfilling life.

"Serving the World's Most Deserving Clients"

Minerva Vazquez , Esq.

Special Kids Law Center

2241 Hollywood Boulevard

Hollywood, Florida 33020

Phone/Fax:

RESOURCES

Listed below

Support Groups

Activities

Announcements

Conferences

Workshops/Classes

Meetings

Events

BOOK TOPICS

In this issue...

Asperger Teen Help

Parent Guide

Aspergers and Girls

Curriculum

Inclusive Programming

Career Planning

Hygiene/Sexuality

Self Esteem

Social Skills

Living Fully with Autism

Young Adult Package

ARTICLES

In this issue...

Brave New World13 Things to Keep in Mind as Your Child with ASD Reaches AdolescenceBy Chantal Sicile-Kira

His Own Best AdvocateA 10 year-old Boy Talks to 4th Grade Class About Autism By Pamela LePage

Developing Dating

and Relationship SkillsBy McIlwee Myers

Does My Child

Need A Guardian?

By Minerva Vazquez , Esq.

The Role of A

Special Needs Trust

By Minerva Vazquez , Esq.

Click here for

Conversation Starter

Flipcards

(Topics include: daily living skills, everyday conversation, home & family, school, things

I like to do and more...)

Click here for

Florida

Parent Support Groups listed by county

Click here for

"WH" Question Series

Flashcards

SOME SKILLS YOU CAN TEACH WITH THESE ITEMS

Asking questions

Answering questions

Responding appropriately

Preparation for activities in the community

Question sequences

Click here for

Florida

Asperger Support Groups listed by county

Click here for

Learn to Talk About...

Flashcards

(Topics include: games, animals,

household items, nature, toys, play, vehicles and more...)

Click here for

Florida

Vocational Assistance

listed by county

Click here for

Responsibilty

Checklists

for Home & School

SOME SKILLS YOU CAN TEACH WITH THESE ITEMS

Responsibility

Independence

Organization skills

Following a schedule

Elementary skills in the home or school

Planning

Click here for

Florida

Social Skills Groups

listed by county

Click here for

Social Story Books

for

Home, School & Play

SOME SKILLS YOU CAN TEACH

WITH THESE ITEMS

Social skills

Personal safety

Reading & comprehension

Respect, negotiation & cooperation

Preparing for success

(Topics Include: fire drills, assemblies, beach, playground, manners, answering questions, greetings, school, bedtime,

asking for & giving help and playing with friends)

Support Groups Listed below...

Special Gals Program

The Special Gals program is designed for caregivers, professionals and all others who are involved in the life of a female with developmental disabilities.

Open to Special Gals of All Ages!Bring a special gal to socialize with her peers and teen peer volunteers (teen peers may not always be available)

Date: February 3, 2011

Location: Broward Mall

Meet at Macy’s makeup counterTime: 7:00pm to 8:30 pm

Please call and registerContact: Sotelo, Ed. D

Future Dates: 3/3, 4/14, 5/12

Location: * please call for directions and locationTime: 7:00pm to 8:30 pm

--------------------------------------------

Mane HIT Autism Support GroupThis group gives an opportunity to network. Our members are knowledgeable in the school system, your rights, IEP's, Legislative Process & homeschooling. Our parents have children of all ages who have been through different regiments & are willing to share their experiences & tips. Questions regarding Hemispheric Integration Therapy & Biomedic Interventions. will be answered by Dr. Mane, DCTampa 2nd Thu 6p.Green Iguana Bar & Grill2520 N. Dale Mabry Hwy Contact: Marilyn Santiago

--------------------------------------------

South Florida GFCF/SCD Group

This dietary support group is to assist parents that are seeking to pursue dietary intervention for the treatment of ASD. Mo. meetings include recipies, food saples, & help with shopping & food selection.

3rd Tue, 7p-9p Free.

Whole Foods

7720 s Rd

Plantation, 33324

Contact: Wallitsch

--------------------------------------------

Hernando Autism Parenting & Personal Experience Network

This is a support group for parents & other relatives of children on the Autism Spectrum, as well as for those who are seeking a diagnosis

120 Fountain Ct

Spring Hill, FL3rd Wed 7-9p

Contact: Bolen

-------------------------------------------

Parents Helping Parents Florida

PHPF Helping Hands support group for parents/families of children with autism & related disabilities. Ocala Last Wed 6-8p, Free

Ocala Public Library, 2720 East Silver Springs Blvd.

Contact: Sylvia

--------------------------------------------

Southwest Florida

Autism Coalition

Monthly support group for parents & professionals facing autism. Topics include Financial Planning, Sensory Integration, Social Skills Training, Communication, & more.3rd Thu, 7-8:30p

At the Pinnacle Academy

6215 Lorraine Rd

Bradenton, FL

Contact: Dr. Kirstina Ordetx

--------------------------------------------

CAREGIVERS Support GroupThe group will provide support

as well as discussion topics

that are meaningful today

and for planning the future.

MAR-JCC’s Zelcer board room18900 NE 25 Avenue, NMB 33180

Tuesdays, 6–7pmJanuary 4

Wednesdays, 10–11am, on the following dates:January 12, 19 & 26

Open to all, free of chargeContact:

, ext. 118 / @..., ext 135

-------------------------------------------Autism Monthly support group

for those affected by Autism

Various topics & speakers ranging from diet, therapy, & advocacy. 1st Tue

5740 Moog Rd.

Pasco County

Contact: Bice

--------------------------------------------

Parental Encouragement for Autistic Children Everywhere Our mission is to educate, empower & provide a positive support environment to Families with children on the Autism Spectrum. Lakeland 1st Tue 6p-8p, 1021 Lakeland Hills Blvd. 33805,

Contact:

ext. 228

--------------------------------------------

Parent to Parent of MiamiParent Resource Center7990 SW 117th AveSuite 201Miami, FL 33183Parent to Parent of Miami is a community parent resource center for families of children and adults with all disabilities. Located in Miami, Florida, our program serves families in Miami-Dade and Monroe counties, as well as the nation. With the help of Parent to Parent of Miami's specialized team, parents and professionals can find information, workshops, and other resources to help make decisions about early intervention, early childhood, education, vocational training, employment, college opportunities, as well as the laws that protect the rights of children and adults with disabilities.Contact: Isabel C. info@...

--------------------------------------------

BFOCASD Support Group for families, educators & therapists

of children & adults with

Autism spectrum disorders

7-9p - Free

1st Wed

First Baptist Church of Melbourne

3301 Dairy Road

West Volusia, FL

--------------------------------------------Aware 4 Autism- Support group

for all people affected by autism & the autism spectrum.

Speakers monthly. 1st Sat 2-4p. First Congregational Church, 7900 Fort King Rd.-, Zephyrhills

Contact: Johanna O'Toole

--------------------------------------------

Homeschool group for special needs families in the Central Florida area: Our Amazing Kids is a group for families in the Central Florida area who are homeschooling their special needs child(ren). We welcome families of every ability, focusing on providing resources to parents who are new to the homeschooling community. We are open-minded and have an interest on living and learning naturally.

Contact: Dory HubbardWinter Haven, FL(863)318-9461

Call for Articles

We are currently looking for

article submissions for our March 2011 Newsletter.

Topic:

Bully Prevention

Please paste all text directly into your email.

(Do not send your article

as an attachment.)

You may also submit any free:

Autism Support Groups, Activities, Announcements,

Conferences, Meetings, Events,

and Workshops/Classes

Submit all info to:

AutismResourceSF@...

(Be sure to include your contact phone number, event address, county, event date(s), and email.)

-----------------------------------

If you offer fee-for-services please view our

advertising options below:

Advertise

with us!

Reach nearly 5,000

families, service providers & individuals affected by Autism

Click here to learn how.

Activities

Buddy Baseball RegistrationBuddy Baseball, a recreational league for kids with special needs playing ball with the assistance of a “Buddy” if needed will be starting its next season on February 5, 2011. Registration is now open until January 21, 2011. All games will be played on the softball fields at the Temple Terrace Recreation Complex. Player ages, 8 - 18. Buddy ages 10 -18. $45 registration for players with special needs, no charge for the buddies. Meet and Greet - 2/5/2011. Season 2/12/2011 - 3/19/2011.

Contact: Russ Oberbroeckling

buddybaseball@...

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Tampa 'Playdates' Support Group

This time has been reserved for our support group members who have children on the spectrum only.3rd Tue 6p to 8p

$6 per child

Come Join Us at

Gator Fred's Party Center!

West Village Commons

5360 Ehrlich Rd. 33625.

Contact:

Kim Larochelle

Marilyn Santiago

Announcements

Free Autism Screening

For Toddlers

The Children’s Hospital of Southwest Florida in Lee County, in partnership with the Mc House Charities® of Southwest Florida, offers a free monthly autism spectrum disorder screening for toddlers 18 months to 36 months of age.

The ASD screening is conducted by the Neurosciences Center at The Children’s Hospital, under the guidance of pediatric neurologist Colon, MD, MPH, and pediatric psychiatrist nne Krouk, DO. The screenings are administered by an Advanced Registered Nurse Practitioner, who has extensive training and experience in typical child development and developmental disorders.

A physician referral is not required

Contact:

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Free Autism Screening

15 Months through 4 years of age

Face Autism, Inc. is providing free autism/ASD screenings to children 15 months through 4 years of age, in Sarasota/Manatee/Charlotte counties who show signs of autism/ASD.

The screenings will be performed by a certified Infant Toddler Developmental Specialist / certified Floortime Therapist. The tool used for the screening will be the Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule (ADOS). If a child is at risk for autism/ASD, they will then be referred back to their pediatrician, pediatric neurologist, child psychologist, or developmental pediatrician for further evaluation/diagnosis. Early detection leads to early intervention.

Contact:

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