Re: Fwd: Start your day with a laugh

[Guest guest]

Peggy

Well, the NFL figured out out to play the Super Bowl either in a warm

climate or indoors. But the home games are so much tradition and so

important to the teams, baseball really has no choice. Every once in a

while we have snow during the series but so be it.

It was 35 degrees here when I first went out this morning. Wore a coat

and then the hospital and doctors office was roasting. It turned out to

be a nice day and in the upper 60's. I drove to the doctor with the heat

on and drove home with the air conditioning on.

> >

> >

> >

> > Subject: Start your day with a laugh

> >>

> >

> >

> > Reporters interviewing a

> >>>> 104-year-old woman:

> >>>> 'And what do you think is the best thing

> >>>> about being 104?' the reporter asked.

> >>>> She simply replied, 'No peer pressure'

> >>>>

> >>>> Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't

> >>>> it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'

> >>>> Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'

> >>>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>

> >

> >

> > I've sure gotten old!

> >>>> I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,

> >>>> new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.

> >>>> I'm half blind,

> >>>> can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,

> >>>> take 40 different medications that

> >>>> make me dizzy, winded , and subject to blackouts.

> >>>> Have bouts with dementia.

> >>>> Have poor circulation;

> >>>> hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.

> >>>> Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.

> >>>>

> >>>> Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my

> >>>> driver's license.

> >>>>

> >>>> I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,

> >>>> so I got my doctor's permission to

> >>>> join a fitness club and start exercising.

> >>>> I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.

> >>>> I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for

> >>>> an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was

over.

> >>>>

> >>>> An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and

> >>>> told her preacher she had two final requests.

> >>>> First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,

> >>>> she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart

> >>>> 'Wal-Mart ?' the preacher exclaimed.

> >>>>

> >>>> 'Why Wal-Mart ?' 'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice

> >>>> a week.'

> >>>>

> >>>> My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>> Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>> Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a

> >>>> bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said: 'Slim,

> >>>> I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I

> >>>> know you're about my age. How do you feel?'

> >>>> Slim said, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'

> >>>> 'Really!? Like a newborn baby?'

> >>>> 'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>> Know how to prevent sagging?

> >>>>

> >>>> Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>> A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing

> >>>> aid... It cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the

> >>>> art. It's perfect.'

> >>>> 'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'

> >>>> 'Twelve thirty', he replied.

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>> It's scary when you start making the same noises

> >>>> as your coffee maker.

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>> An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number

> >>>> of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have

> >>>> him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear

> >>>> 100%... He went back in a month and the doctor said, 'Your

> >>>> hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you

> >>>> can hear again.'

> >>>> The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just

> >>>> sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will

> >>>> three times!'

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>> These days about half the stuff

> >>>> in my shopping cart says,

> >>>>

> >>>> 'For fast relief.'

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>> THE SENILITY PRAYER :

> >>>> Grant me the senility to forget the people

> >>>> I never liked anyway ,

> >>>> the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to

> >>>> tell the difference.

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>

> >

> >

> > Always Remember This:

> >>>> You don't stop laughing because you grow old,

> >>>> You grow old because you stop laughing

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>

> >>

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > No virus found in this incoming message.

> > Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com

> > Version: 8.0.175 / Virus Database: 270.8.4/1751 - Release Date:

> > 10/27/2008 10:44 PM

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Lynda, I noticed your post because I had

an aunt that insisted that my name

was spelled Lynda.

She even had a bracelet made with that spelling!

I always thought that was funny.

Are you a newbie? I don't recall having seen your name before. If so,

WELCOME.

Z fibriotic NSIP/05

Z 64,

fibriotic NSIP/o5/PA

And “mild”

PH/10/07 and Reynaud’s too!!

No, NSIP was not

self-inflicted…I never smoked!

Potter,

reader,carousel lover and MomMom to

Darah

and Sara

“I’m gonna

be iron like a lion in Zion” Bob Marley

Vinca

Minor-periwinkle is my flower

Lynda McFall wrote:

Thanks for the really funny jokesw! Made my day - Lynda

Mac

signature

Subject: Start your day with a laugh

Reporters

interviewing a

104-year-old woman:

'And what do you think is the best thing

about being 104?' the reporter asked.

She simply replied, 'No peer

pressure'

Three old guys are out

walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's

Thursday!'

Third one says, 'So am I.

Let's go get a beer.'

I've sure

gotten old!

I've

had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,

new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.

I'm half blind,

can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,

take 40 different medications that

make me dizzy, winded , and subject to blackouts.

Have bouts with dementia.

Have poor circulation;

hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.

Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.

Have lost

all my friends. But, thank God, I still have

my driver's license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,

so I got my doctor's permission to

join a fitness club and start exercising.

I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.

I bent,

twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my

leotards on, the class was over.

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and

told her preacher she had two final requests.

First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,

she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart

'Wal-Mart ?' the preacher exclaimed.

'Why

Wal-Mart ?' 'Then I'll be sure my

daughters visit me twice a week.'

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Also, my memory's not as sharp

as it used to be

Two elderly gentlemen from a

retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned

to the other and said: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of

aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'

Slim said,

'I feel just like a newborn baby.'

'Really!?

Like a newborn baby?'

'Yep. No

hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

Know how to prevent sagging?

Just eat till the wrinkles

fill out.

A man was telling his

neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid... It cost me four thousand

dollars, but its state of the art. It's perfect.'

'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'

'Twelve thirty', he replied.

It's scary when you start making the same noises

as your coffee maker.

An elderly gentleman had

serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor

and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids

that allowed him to hear 100%... He went back in a month and the doctor

said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that

you can hear again.'

The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit

around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three

times!'

These days about half the stuff

in my shopping cart says,

'For fast relief.'

THE SENILITY PRAYER :

Grant me the senility to forget the people

I never liked anyway ,

the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell

the difference.

Always

Remember This:

You don't stop laughing because you grow old,

You grow old because you stop laughing

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com

Version: 8.0.175 / Virus Database: 270.8.4/1751 - Release Date: 10/27/2008 10:44 PM

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.175 / Virus Database: 270.8.4/1751 - Release Date: 10/27/2008 10:44 PM

[Guest guest]

i slept all afternoon today--did nothing in the house--did not go out at all

even Rocky [my dog] wouldn't go outside today

[i have pads for him near the front door for him to do his business]Pink Joyce IPF 3/06 Pennsylvania

Subject: Start your day with a laugh

Reporters interviewing a

104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.She simply replied, 'No peer pressure' Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'

Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'

I've sure gotten old!

I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded , and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license. I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over. An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart 'Wal-Mart ?' the preacher exclaimed. 'Why Wal-Mart ?' 'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.'

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim said, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn baby?' 'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

Know how to prevent sagging?

Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid... It cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty', he replied.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%... He went back in a month and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.' The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says,

'For fast relief.'

THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway , the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Always Remember This:

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.175 / Virus Database: 270.8.4/1751 - Release Date: 10/27/2008 10:44 PM

[Guest guest]

peggy

these jokes were really funny

thanksPink Joyce IPF 3/06 Pennsylvania

Subject: Fwd: Start your day with a laughTo: Breathe-Support Date: Tuesday, October 28, 2008, 11:21 AM

Subject: Start your day with a laugh

Reporters interviewing a

104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.' Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'

Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'

I've sure gotten old!

I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded , and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license. I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over. An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart 'Wal-Mart ?' the preacher exclaimed. 'Why Wal-Mart ?' 'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.'

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim said, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn baby?' 'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

Know how to prevent sagging?

Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid... It cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty', he replied.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%... He went back in a month and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.' The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says,

'For fast relief.'

THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway , the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Always Remember This:

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing