Re: MB

September 27, 2008

Hey you, what's going on with you today? I'm just hangin out working on Joyce's memorial page. Feeling tired so just lyin low today.

Love,

MB

Beth-Moderator

Fibrotic NSIP 06/06 UCTD 06/08

Message from Vicky

Vicky is in the hospital again. This time with dehydration. When I spoke with her last evening Drs were discussing putting her on massive input of fluids. However the outcome of that could throw her into congestive heart failure. I guess that in itself would not take her life but when she asked the Dr if she will survive CHF...will she be alive in a week... he replied "I don't know"....

She will give her brother my phone number so he can call in any event that she is unable...

And I think I have troubles.

MamaSher, age 70. IPF 3-06, OR. NasturtiumsDon't fret about tomorrow, God is already there!

September 27, 2008

This is just a Joyce type day. Her memorial was today. Leanne said it was beautiful. I went to the porchwith my coffee and was praying a bit and she came to my mind so strongly. What a beautiful day this has been. The sky is so blue, not a cloud. A gift.Have a Good Sunday. I am so excited to go. Our Pastor has a surprise for us tomorrow. Heavens only knows what. lolI know he is preaching out of Luke so who knows..Love & Prayers, PeggyFlorida, IPF/UIP 2004"I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet, when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly." Hey you, what's going on with you today? I'm just hangin out working on Joyce's memorial page. Feeling tired so just lyin low today. Love, MB Beth-ModeratorFibrotic NSIP 06/06 UCTD 06/08 Message from VickyVicky is in the hospital again. This time with dehydration. When I spoke with her last evening Drs were discussing putting her on massive input of fluids. However the outcome of that could throw her into congestive heart failure. I guess that in itself would not take her life but when she asked the Dr if she will survive CHF...will she be alive in a week... he replied "I don't know"....She will give her brother my phone number so he can call in any event that she is unable... And I think I have troubles.MamaSher, age 70. IPF 3-06, OR. NasturtiumsDon't fret about tomorrow, God is already there!

September 28, 2008

Bruce

Your third paragraph is what I find also. Commiting to anything besides doctor's appointments is very difficult. We just don't know how we are going to feel.

Yesterday i went to the baseball game with Jerry. It's a long day, because jerry works at the ballpark and has to be there before the gates open. I was fine. My new Marathon lasted the entire game. It stopped on the drive home.

Today, i am wiped out. The weather here doesn't help either. Warm and muggy--very humid. Misty, drizzley, rainy, t-storms.

I managed to do two errands--Macy's and the supermarket. Came home, ate lunch and took a nap.

Can't believe that i actually went into Macy's, went right to the department i wanted, made my purchase and left. That is out of character for me. Usually, i would wonder around and window shop for an hour.

Even at the supermarket, i usually go up and down every aisle. Not today, I went to a couple of aisles and left.

I will feel better tomorrow. I have to make dinner for the holiday even though it will just be Jerry and me.

And now when i cook, i have to be careful with the gas range. Take the hose off of my face, use the microwave, or have Jerry use the gas range/oven.

I think microwave ovens were created in anticipation of the increased number of people who are using oxygen these days.

I am starting to ramble and complain. Better end this email.

Pink Joyce IPF 3/06 Pennslvania

Subject: Re: MBTo: Breathe-Support Date: Thursday, September 18, 2008, 9:05 PM

MBI refused when healthy to recognize I had any limitations. Hence, I didthe work of three people, strove for perfection, and had a prettymiserable existence. One of the things I have learned since then isradical acceptance and to be happy with my limitations and setboundaries and limits. We talk in our society so much about productivityand start to equate our own worth to what we're able to do. Well, MB andothers, calling your child and reminding them you love him, hugging aparent, discussing old times with brothers or sisters, giving a kindword to someone you pass, supporting someone here-those are productiveand important. Why do we make ourselves feel guilty over that we can'tcontrol and even apologize for it? Ok, I know there's nothing worse thana reformed workaholic, even if my working to excess was caused in largepart by having Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (not to

beconfused with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).The thing is that where most of us are today, taking care of ourselves,of our homes, of our health is as much job as we can handle. We don'tknow what time we have left so we should enjoy our "retirement" such asit is. I'm not likely to make 66 (retirement age for my birth) so I'mgoing to make the most of 58 and make no apologies for it.As to your specifics you described with helping the friend's mom, I knowI couldn't do that. First, the stress of her and the situation is such ahuge energy drain. Stress drains me and when combined with the diseasereally does. Not feeling sorry for myself, just stating fact. Second, aregular commitment of time is something I couldn't deal with. Some days,4-5 hours of activity might come easy. Other days thats like a 16 hourday to me. I might do two in the morning, come home and rest, then doanother two of

activity. I could never commit to it. Even on my gooddays, 4-5 hours of activity, then sitting on sofa, will lead to nap.It's like volunteering. If there was something that allowed me to bethere when I was up to it and didn't have doctor's appointments andwasn't traveling, fine. But I couldn't commit to it several times a weekat fixed times for the exact same reasons I can't work. What your sistersaid is true. Social Security didn't just deem us disabled because theylike us.I always put myself last in thoughts, plans and actions. Now, i'vebecome protective and even a bit selfish toward myself. I will do what Ican for others and i've helped friends, but I won't do it to my owndetriment unless its an emergency situation (yes, I did see someone takea potentially bad fall and actually ran toward them months ago oxygenand all). I still worry more than I should about problems that aren'tmine. But,

I'm not trying to solve all of everyone's problems anymore.Plus, if I don't take care of myself, I'm not going to be able to helpothers.As to the friend's mom, I know they feel guilty about "putting hersomewhere" but how would they feel if something tragic happened becausethey didn't. They are so fortunate to have your help when you're there,but there are living situations right for different times and conditionsof our lives. Oh, the thought of being in her condition frightens me farmore than PF does.Glad to see you admit to yourself and guess by telling us you can't takeit back.....lol. So, listen to what you're saying and take care ofyourself.>> Thanks ,> This kind of came up out of nowhere but I'm

definitely on the mend andalready chafing at the doctors restrictions.>> If I'm really honest with myself I know that I've been doing a littletoo much and have been stressed. Looking after my friends mom thosethree days a week. It's really such a small thing. 3 days a week for 4or 5 hours, fix her a meal, make sure she's had her meds, take her outto get her hair done when I can talk her into it and occasionally takeher to a doctor appointment. Doesn't sound exhausting does it? But I gethome from there and pass out in my recliner completely spent. It may bea matter of mental strain, she does have dementia and and keeping hergrounded in the here and now is a constant task. She's also becomingless and less steady on her feet and more short of breath even slowlywalking around her own home. Fortunately her children are finallystarting to see what I've been trying to tell them for months.

Momcannot live alone anymore. It's just not safe. She put a stainlesssaucepan in the microwave last week one day. I was in the> bathroom for 2 minutes and by the time I came back there were bluesparks shooting around the inside of the microwave and she's blithelywatching something on MTV. (Don't ask, it wasn't my idea. She insistedit was her favorite show....sigh) She also took double doses of all hermeds one day last week because she couldn't remember that her daughterhad been there earlier and she had already taken them. There are morestories but it all amounts to the same thing. She needs to besupervised. Her daughters are taking her today to look at a placecalled Spring Arbor that's closeby. Hopefully this can all transpirequickly, for the sake of her safety. I will miss the income from this'job' but I won't miss the strain. My sister reminded me today that Iwas approved for disability for a

reason. "You're disabled Beth"she informed me. Shocking! I despise thinking of myself that way. Ihate not being able to work. After over two years you'd think> I'd have gotten over it by now. There must be a little Taurus in me(though I'm a cancer) cause I can be STUBBORN. LOL>> Anyway, I've rambled here. Hope I haven't bored you all to tears.Thanks to all of you for being my friends!>> Beth>>>> MB>>> I am so sorry you got sick, I know how disappointed you are . I was soangry when I couldn't go to Chattanooga. Take care of yourself.> ipf

2/07IL>>> Age 49 Fibrotic NSIP 06/06 UCTD 07/08>> Change everything. Love and Forgive>

September 28, 2008

Pink

Your today sounds just like the typical " every other day routine. " We

overdo one day and then don't feel like much the next. We rest on day

two so we can overdo on day three again. When I have a very active day I

do have to follow it up with a quiet one and I just accept that as the

way things are. I'm impressed you still got out today and ran two

errands. No telling how much money being tired saved you today. lol.

> >

> > Thanks ,

> > This kind of came up out of nowhere but I'm definitely on the mend

and

> already chafing at the doctors restrictions.

> >

> > If I'm really honest with myself I know that I've been doing a

little

> too much and have been stressed. Looking after my friends mom those

> three days a week. It's really such a small thing. 3 days a week for 4

> or 5 hours, fix her a meal, make sure she's had her meds, take her out

> to get her hair done when I can talk her into it and occasionally take

> her to a doctor appointment. Doesn't sound exhausting does it? But I

get

> home from there and pass out in my recliner completely spent. It may

be

> a matter of mental strain, she does have dementia and and keeping her

> grounded in the here and now is a constant task. She's also becoming

> less and less steady on her feet and more short of breath even slowly

> walking around her own home. Fortunately her children are finally

> starting to see what I've been trying to tell them for months. Mom

> cannot live alone anymore. It's just not safe. She put a stainless

> saucepan in the microwave last week one day. I was in the

> > bathroom for 2 minutes and by the time I came back there were blue

> sparks shooting around the inside of the microwave and she's blithely

> watching something on MTV. (Don't ask, it wasn't my idea. She insisted

> it was her favorite show....sigh) She also took double doses of all

her

> meds one day last week because she couldn't remember that her daughter

> had been there earlier and she had already taken them. There are more

> stories but it all amounts to the same thing. She needs to be

> supervised. Her daughters are taking her today to look at a place

> called Spring Arbor that's closeby. Hopefully this can all transpire

> quickly, for the sake of her safety. I will miss the income from this

> 'job' but I won't miss the strain. My sister reminded me today that I

> was approved for disability for a reason. " You're disabled Beth "

> she informed me. Shocking! I despise thinking of myself that way. I

> hate not being able to work. After over two years you'd think

> > I'd have gotten over it by now. There must be a little Taurus in me

> (though I'm a cancer) cause I can be STUBBORN. LOL

> >

> > Anyway, I've rambled here. Hope I haven't bored you all to tears.

> Thanks to all of you for being my friends!

> >

> > Beth

> >

> > MB

> >

> > I am so sorry you got sick, I know how disappointed you are . I was

so

> angry when I couldn't go to Chattanooga. Take care of yourself.

> > ipf 2/07IL

> >

> > Age 49 Fibrotic NSIP 06/06 UCTD 07/08

> >

> > Change everything. Love and Forgive

> >

>

September 29, 2008

Just want to say HI Pink...I'm readin' you....

MamaSher, age 70. IPF 3-06, OR. NasturtiumsDon't fret about tomorrow, God is already there!

MB>>> I am so sorry you got sick, I know how disappointed you are . I was soangry when I couldn't go to Chattanooga. Take care of yourself.> ipf 2/07IL>>> Age 49 Fibrotic NSIP 06/06 UCTD 07/08>> Change everything. Love and Forgive>

September 29, 2008

Hi SherPink Joyce IPF 3/06 Pennslvania

From: Bruce Moreland <brucemoreland@ gmail.com>Subject: Re: MBTo: Breathe-Support@ yahoogroups. comDate: Thursday, September 18, 2008, 9:05 PM