Guest guest Posted December 23, 2008 Report Share Posted December 23, 2008 I know everyone is probably tired of all these Christmas "words of wisdom" But this was so funny I had to pass it on. Last one I promise ( wink wink) HOLIDAY EATING TIPS 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls. 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas! 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pou r it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again. 8. Same for pies. Apple , Pumpkin , Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day ? 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards. 10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just=2 0around the corner. Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!" Have a great holiday season !! R. (52) Sarcoid/PF 3/2006 Carlsbad, California From: Mango man <mangomaninparadise@ yahoo.com>Subject: Fw: Beautiful Irish BlessingTo: "Breathe Support" <Breathe-Support@ yahoogroups. com>Date: Saturday, December 20, 2008, 5:35 PM Subject: Fw: Beautiful Irish Blessing Turn on the volume and enjoy. May you have a blessed day/week. Click on: Irish Blessing Then sit back, take a deep breath, relax and click on start! New MapQuest Local shows what's happening at your destination. Dining, Movies, Events, News & more. Try it out! -- This message has been scanned for viruses and dangerous content by MailScanner, and is believed to be clean. IMPORTANT NOTICE: This message contains confidential information and is intended only for the individual(s) named. This message and attachments may also contain information related to students that is confidential under the provisions of the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act of 1974, also known as "FERPA" or the "Buckley Amendment." 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