Guest guest Posted August 16, 2008 Report Share Posted August 16, 2008 Roxanne, You will probably out live your Mom. I am so sorry you have this DX. But I think I would only tell her on a need to know basis. Don't forget you have life, LIVE it and don't let others bring you down. God is with us. Love and Prayers, Peggy IPF 2004, Florida"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." Hi all,I'd like to weigh in on this discussion too. I know we all have preferences and reasons for doing it however we choose. I've gotten valuable information from you all regarding this issue but I still have a huge dilemma which I am facing and don't know how to handle it. I've told my 4 sisters, 2 brothers and 2 oldest nieces (who are grown and married). They are all sent updates each time I visit doctors and have tests. I've told the 3 people at work with whom I work the closest. My boss knows more than the other 2, but even she doesn't know all the details. It helps to have their support at work due to time off for drs appts etc.My dilemma is my mother. She's 85 years and not in the best health herself. She is a cancer survivor and 20 year sufferer of COPD and chronic bronchitis. I have told her that I have Sarcoid and that it is an inflammation which is causing all the coughing. I am scared to tell her any more for fear she will feel it's her fault and worry too much which could lead to further declining health for her.My sisters are split on this issue, the 2 oldest don't agree with me and the 2 youngest do. My feeling is that as I continue to decline, I may have no choice, but for right now I don't want to worry her needlessly.Roxanne, 58, South Carolina2006 Asthma/ PF2008 IPF/ Sarcoidosis/GerdLady Slipper Orchid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2008 Report Share Posted August 16, 2008 I love your comment on not wasting energy on toxic persons or situations. Exactly the word I used some time back when telling someone in Kansas City I didn't care to talk to her anymore. In life we should have chosen our environments more carefully along the way. I get pleasure from friends who I can help, regardless of their problems. Listening doesn't bring me down. However, I just can't tolerate people who in their lives are doing things that are bad for their children and not planning on doing anything about it but just continue to think about themselves. Thats a line for me and its toxic to me. One said " you're not a very good friend to talk to me like that " and I said " well, you can take care of yourself but frankly I care a lot more about your kids right now than I do you. " I know that sounds ugly but its just me making a decision of whether it was healthy for me to spend time talking to someone or find someone less toxic to talk to. I'd rather talk to my friends here anytime. I just live my life best as I can doing the things I want to and spending time with those people I want to. I have some friends with real problems, but they are working on them and I'm happy to be able to support them as they do. My friends are a very eclectic group from everyone here to my ex-wife to 25 year old single moms to their 19 year old brothers to those with kids and those without. People might think of why they go to church or religious communities. One of the main reasons is to be with others with similar beliefs. Simplified, its to be with people who are healthy for them. Any social setting should be like that. I come to this forum because I like the people here. Oh yes, I get help and provide it. But, today its more than anything to be among quality friends. I went to NC to visit the relatives who mean the most to me. It was wonderful. I have an uncle in Georgia I have no intention of visiting. He was toxic years ago and the one phone call I've had with him shows nothing has changed. Why would I spend precious time and energy heading there when I can go to other relatives in NC and enjoy it immensely with those I can communicate with and share love? Peggy's husband, , made a statement in San I have remembered since. It was that he wouldn't spend any of what energy one has left being angry or in conflict. I quite imagine he's told Peggy more than once about something to not let it bother her that its not important. Well, easier for some than others of us. But, I heard what he said and I've tried to remember it. I think of my energy sort of like a gas tank with x amount left. I hear saying not to waste any of it. > > > > > > Hi all, > > > > > > I'd like to weigh in on this discussion too. I know we all have > > preferences and reasons for doing it however we choose. I've gotten > > valuable information from you all regarding this issue but I still have > > a huge dilemma which I am facing and don't know how to handle it. > > > > > > I've told my 4 sisters, 2 brothers and 2 oldest nieces (who are grown > > and married). They are all sent updates each time I visit doctors and > > have tests. I've told the 3 people at work with whom I work the closest. > > My boss knows more than the other 2, but even she doesn't know all the > > details. It helps to have their support at work due to time off for drs > > appts etc. > > > > > > My dilemma is my mother. She's 85 years and not in the best health > > herself. She is a cancer survivor and 20 year sufferer of COPD and > > chronic bronchitis. I have told her that I have Sarcoid and that it is > > an inflammation which is causing all the coughing. I am scared to tell > > her any more for fear she will feel it's her fault and worry too much > > which could lead to further declining health for her. > > > > > > My sisters are split on this issue, the 2 oldest don't agree with me > > and the 2 youngest do. My feeling is that as I continue to decline, I > > may have no choice, but for right now I don't want to worry her > > needlessly. > > > > > > Roxanne, 58, South Carolina > > > 2006 Asthma/ PF > > > 2008 IPF/ Sarcoidosis/Gerd > > > Lady Slipper Orchid > > > > > > > > > > >No virus found in this incoming message. > >Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com > >Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.6.4/1615 - Release Date: 8/16/2008 7:11 AM > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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