Assaulting a Mammogram technician

[Guest guest]

Assaulting a Mammogram technician

While conducting some business at the Court House , I overheard a lady,who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician , say, "YourHonor, I'm guilty but ... there were extenuating circumstances."The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear thoseextenuating circumstances."I did, too, so I listened as the lady told her story."Your Honor, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I wasmet by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and shetilted her head to one side and crooned, "Hi! I'm Belinda! All I need you todo is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on thisgown. Everything clear?"I'm thinking, Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science. Belinda thenskipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to theleft and

said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tadso we can get everything?""Fine," I answered.I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remainingcirculation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body was in aholding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged betweenthose two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap!Complete darkness, the power was off!Belinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag."Then she headed for the door."Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone, are you?" I shouted.Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open soyou'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back."Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubbaand Earl, "maintenance men extraordinaire" found me...half-naked with partof me dangling

from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed betweenglass!After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting, Bubba (orpossibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible,"Uh, yes, I did, but thanks anyway.""OK, you take care now," Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'dbeen standing in the line at the grocery store.Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making noattempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry! The powercame back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went tolunch. Are we upset?""And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between theclamps..."The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said "Case

Dismissed!'

[Guest guest]

Oh, I am SO sending this on.... :-D

T

in WY

Practical Blackwork Designs

http://practicalblackwork.com

http://practical-blackwork.blogspot.com  

" You get a wonderful view from the point of no return... "

Assaulting a Mammogram technician

 

 

Assaulting a Mammogram technician

 

 

While conducting some business at the  Court House , I  overheard a lady,

who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram  Technician , say, " Your

Honor, I'm guilty but ... there were extenuating circumstances. "

The female Judge said, sarcastically, " I'd certainly like to hear those

extenuating circumstances. "

I did, too, so I listened as the lady told her story.

" Your Honor, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was

met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she

tilted her head to one side and crooned, " Hi! I'm Belinda! All I need you to

do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this

gown. Everything clear? "

I'm thinking, Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science. Belinda then

skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the

left and said, " Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad

so we can get everything? "

" Fine, " I answered.

I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining

circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body was in a

holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between

those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap!

Complete darkness, the power was off!

Belinda said, " Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag. "

Then she headed for the door.

" Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone, are you? " I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, " Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so

you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back. "

Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba

and Earl, " maintenance men extraordinaire " found me...half-naked with part

of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between

glass!

After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting, Bubba (or

possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible,

" Uh, yes, I did, but thanks anyway. "

" OK, you take care now, " Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd

been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no

attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, " Oh I am sooo sorry! The power

came back on and I totally forgot about you!  And silly me, I went to

lunch.  Are we upset? "

" And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the

clamps... "

The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said " Case Dismissed!'

 

[Guest guest]

Oh, I am SO sending this on.... :-D

T

in WY

Practical Blackwork Designs

http://practicalblackwork.com

http://practical-blackwork.blogspot.com  

" You get a wonderful view from the point of no return... "

Assaulting a Mammogram technician

 

 

Assaulting a Mammogram technician

 

 

While conducting some business at the  Court House , I  overheard a lady,

who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram  Technician , say, " Your

Honor, I'm guilty but ... there were extenuating circumstances. "

The female Judge said, sarcastically, " I'd certainly like to hear those

extenuating circumstances. "

I did, too, so I listened as the lady told her story.

" Your Honor, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was

met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she

tilted her head to one side and crooned, " Hi! I'm Belinda! All I need you to

do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this

gown. Everything clear? "

I'm thinking, Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science. Belinda then

skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the

left and said, " Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad

so we can get everything? "

" Fine, " I answered.

I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining

circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body was in a

holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between

those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap!

Complete darkness, the power was off!

Belinda said, " Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag. "

Then she headed for the door.

" Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone, are you? " I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, " Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so

you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back. "

Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba

and Earl, " maintenance men extraordinaire " found me...half-naked with part

of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between

glass!

After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting, Bubba (or

possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible,

" Uh, yes, I did, but thanks anyway. "

" OK, you take care now, " Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd

been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no

attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, " Oh I am sooo sorry! The power

came back on and I totally forgot about you!  And silly me, I went to

lunch.  Are we upset? "

" And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the

clamps... "

The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said " Case Dismissed!'

 

[Guest guest]

Oh, I am SO sending this on.... :-D

T

in WY

Practical Blackwork Designs

http://practicalblackwork.com

http://practical-blackwork.blogspot.com  

" You get a wonderful view from the point of no return... "

Assaulting a Mammogram technician

 

 

Assaulting a Mammogram technician

 

 

While conducting some business at the  Court House , I  overheard a lady,

who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram  Technician , say, " Your

Honor, I'm guilty but ... there were extenuating circumstances. "

The female Judge said, sarcastically, " I'd certainly like to hear those

extenuating circumstances. "

I did, too, so I listened as the lady told her story.

" Your Honor, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was

met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she

tilted her head to one side and crooned, " Hi! I'm Belinda! All I need you to

do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this

gown. Everything clear? "

I'm thinking, Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science. Belinda then

skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the

left and said, " Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad

so we can get everything? "

" Fine, " I answered.

I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining

circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body was in a

holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between

those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap!

Complete darkness, the power was off!

Belinda said, " Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag. "

Then she headed for the door.

" Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone, are you? " I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, " Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so

you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back. "

Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba

and Earl, " maintenance men extraordinaire " found me...half-naked with part

of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between

glass!

After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting, Bubba (or

possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible,

" Uh, yes, I did, but thanks anyway. "

" OK, you take care now, " Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd

been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no

attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, " Oh I am sooo sorry! The power

came back on and I totally forgot about you!  And silly me, I went to

lunch.  Are we upset? "

" And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the

clamps... "

The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said " Case Dismissed!'