So Frustrated and Angry

[Guest guest]

Good Evening! I hope you don't mind, but I need to vent about a situation and ask for some advice.  Here goes... I am a single mom with an 11 year old daughter with Aspergers, OCD and ADHD.  She is incredibly bright but struggles mightily with any social situation.  In addition, the OCD flares up and her main compulsion is perfectionism... she thinks everything she does has to be perfect and when it is not, she can often become very aggressive.  She has a long history of hospitalization and, up until Monday, had been Baker Acted twice (once for suicidal ideations and once for aggression).  She has most recently come back from 7 months of residential treatment and started middle school in August.

 Many of you in Broward County will already know that the school system often-times operates in the dark ages.  There are no cluster programs for someone like my daughter after elementary school.  The only option is for her to be at Cross Creek.  I forget the term they use for the school, but it is basically where they house all of the students with behavioral problems that cannot be mainstreamed.  They will tell you that this is a wonderful school; they have psychologists on staff; wonderful teachers who are all trained appropriately, etc...  I would tell you that one of the well-trained teachers is " shushing " my daughter when she talks by using a hand gesture as if she is shutting her mouth and making a grunting sound at the same time (may I say that this has not been very effective).  She has eloped on several occassions and is struggling with the other children (they are mostly boys; only a few girls)

 I hired an education attorney back in late March to contact the school board so we could have a plan on how to continue her education when she came back from residential treatment in Texas.  She actually came home in late May and I notified the school board the first week of June.  I took a tour of the school after school was over (I would have gone immediately, however, they did not want me there the last week of school).  While on the tour, I asked about the time-out room and was told that they expect students to stand against the wall for 15 minutes to calm down... I was actually floored and thought she was joking... my autistic child is not going to cooperate with that strategy at all!  I requested an IEP meeting and the school board attorney (the most unpleasant woman I have had the displeasure to meet) refused... long story, short, after a threat to file charges, she agreed that we could meet to amend the PBIP.  The attorney, her psychologist and myself participated in every meeting and worked hard to explain her needs and create a plan geared towards what she requires and not what their discipline structure required.  We all continued to maintain that they did not have the right structure to deal with her as their focus is almost entirely on discipline and that is not what she needs.  However, because of the out-of-state transfer from being in residential treatment, the school board had a right to say where she would go based on the out-of-state IEP.  Also, because she was out of the state in February, she cannot receive McKay Scholarship money and I do not have the funds to pay for a private school without that; not to mention I don't know what school would be appropriate.

 I only work 15 minutes from the school.  They know I am a very involved parent and have even thanked me for being so involved as that is not the usual level of commitment they have seen from a lot of the student's parents.  I had set up a meeting for this Tuesday morning to talk about the two teachers that my daughter is struggling with in school (no surprise, one of them is the shushing teacher).  So, I got a call from the new Assistant Principal (the same person who told me they expect kids to stand against the wall for 15 minutes) Monday afternoon telling me that they had Baker Acted my daughter and she was on the way to the hospital.  She apparently had a major meltdown in one of the teachers classes that she has been struggling with... I only know that she was flipping over desks; the police officer on campus was involved because she was handcuffed and that she was put in the seclusion room for over 40 minutes.  My first comment was " why didn't you call me? "   I am so close and I would have gone over to help.  I still don't know all of the details but I have requested copies of the reports and the video of the seclusion room through my attorney.

 By the time I got to the hospital, she was calm.  We were trapped at the hospital for 8.5 hours before she was able to get a bed at Miami Children's.  There were no beds for children her age in Broward County.  I begged the staff to contact the hospital psychiatrist to over-ride the Baker Act.  She was absolutely fine to come home.  They actually did contact the doctor and he refused to come back to the hospital that night.  So, we were going to have to wait until the next day before I could request that the doctor over-ride the Baker Act. The transfer to Miami Childrens took place at 1:00 A.M.  As soon as the psychiatrist saw her Tuesday morning, he discharged her to my care... she should never have been hospitalized in the first place.

 So, I have contacted the school and told them she will not be going back until we meet and there is a better plan in place.  I truly do not want her to go back at all.  They have already started to circle the wagons and protect themselves.  How do I possibly trust that they can take care of my daughter and keep her safe?  How do I in good conscience send her back to that school?  How does she possibly feel safe while there?

 I guess I am wanting to hear if anyone else has had something similar happen and how it was handled... I am looking for suggestions; I cannot home-school her myself because I am a single mom and need my job.  I would be very curious to know how many times this particular school has used the Baker Act on its students.  Is that public information?  Who should I request it from?  I would appreciate any feedback you all may have... I feel like I do not know which way to turn right now.

 Thank you!! 

 

Jean