Re: Re: Dan (Post Tx Status, Marriage)

[Guest guest]

"I couldn't imagine leaving my husband before or after transplant. If anything it should make you all closer than before transplant. You all have been through so much together. I know the trips to the hospital and testing can take alot out of you but, things will get better soon. It takes about six months to a year for things to get better. Hang in there and wish you both the best of luck. Take care Tina

Re: Dan (Post Tx Status, Marriage)

I hope you don't mind, I edited your private e-mail and am responding to it here...

Thanks for the side-bar. My wife and I have been in counseling for four months. Things are getting better, but that death spiral of "I can't give you what you need because I'm getting nothing from you" is quite hard to survive. I made the decision that if we were going to make it, we would NEED outside help. I was so weak and weary that I basically mandated that we would go and go separately. We alternated weeks for a short time until we both had the strength to address things together. Even after that we went back to individual sessions for one round to touch base and add clarification.

This is NOT easy! I was ready to leave and that was saying a lot because of my personal beliefs against divorce.

I pray that you find someone to help you through this. Get out of the death spiral any way you can!!!

Dan

[We have] had major marital issues since the transplant. We both have needed so much more than the other person could give. It has been enormously difficult. I think the stress of such a big event and recovery rocks the world of everyone involved. I'm sorry to hear that I'm not alone in this, but I suspect we're not the only ones who have had problems...It' ll be interesting to see if anyone replies to your email on the group.

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