What Earl said to me this morning......................................

[Guest guest]

He asked me what I was going to do today, (like he always says just

before he leaves for work) and I said softly: Oh, I don't know,

probably go across the street (with the car) to Kroger's and get some

milk.

Wellllllll, that didn't work!!! Earl said: Honey, please don't do

that. Please don't. I will get milk on the way home tonight>

I said: I am totally losing my independence and I just want a chance

to go to the store.

He said: I am your independence now Honey, I want to be with you

when you go anywhere from now on.

Sheepishly I said: ok and then we hugged.

I feel so darn helpless because I KNOW HE IS RIGHT. He is always

right when it comes to my safety. He is a precious man, I am just

trying to do things on my own that I know I can't do anymore.

I went to the storage shed on the porch a couple of hrs. ago to get

out some small items for xmas decorations, that I could place around

slowly in the house. I couldn't believe it, just moving a few boxes

made me sit in the chair on the porch and cry, tears flowing down my

face. I can't do this!!! I just can't do this anymore. Christmas

has always been my favorite time of year, like most people.

It doesn't take much the past 2 weeks to get me down. I am getting

depressed quickly at times and try to snap out of it by reading our

posts here and sending greeting cards. I try, I try, and then I

cry. I HATE THIS DISEASE.

I LOVE YOU THIS DAY

MARY LOU

IPF - 02