A post before work.... a little sadness here

[Guest guest]

Well folks, about time for me to get my behind in the shower and get ready to

go. I was so sick yesterday I just could hardly go on. I worked though of

course. A couple of the nurse aids could see the horror all over me. I looked

worse than a pile of warmed over $- - t. Today, a little better at the moment

and it is subject to change.

Something heavy on my mind and heart is a patient that passed away a couple of

days ago. She was my hospice patient when I worked hospice and then I became

her nursing home nurse when I left hospice to take this job. She was alone in

the world except for her little dog that loved her to the end. She had a son

somewhere who could never forgive her for the things she had done when she was

young. She suffered tremendous guilt for leaving him when he was a child.

(with his father).

That door for her was never brought to a closure. She had us, the staff, and

only us as a family. She liked to gossip and we got aggravated with her but

she was at the same time very loved. I did not get to say bye to her. I had

two days off and she went. She has no one to come to her funeral but the staff

of the nursing home and the hospice staff that will attend this afternoon. Of

course, I am going to work and let another nurse go to the funeral. But it is

ok. I will just remember her like the last time I saw her. Up in her

wheelchair everyday no matter how difficult it was to breath...she would take

her little dog out to potty.

No one to claim her belongings which are few and inexpensive. I did take a

quilt she made because I always thought she made such beautiful quilts. And I

took a glass angel bell that was sitting with her other what nots.

Well, anyway, just venting.

I guess it just shows me more than ever how important it is to show someone you

love them and try to forgive and go on. I am so glad I got a relationship back

with my sister. (I do understand though that some things are not forgivable to

some people). Just my heart and wisdom here. She never got to say " bye " or " I

am sorry " to her son. This breaks my heart.

love ya all,

Debra V.

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