Re: Need advice - a bit long

[Guest guest]

Just say this: whatever I am doing with him and his therapies can

only help

> him no matter what. Now you can either back me and I can share

his triumphs

> with you OR you can continue to make me feel isolated until I no

longer share

> things with you. It's your decision.

>

> Hugs

THIS IS great, !!!!

thanks for sharing~

nancy...who is very tired, rachelle was up all last

night throwing up...guess its gonna be a long cleaning

and laundry day, AGAIN! ugh

[Guest guest]

>

> " I asked Mom and she said that she didn't think n is a crazy.

> And Mom would tell me the truth. " >

Ack! Proof positive that being honest does not mean that everything

you say is true...it is entirely possible to be sincerely ignorant.

Raena

[Guest guest]

Just have her sip it. The ice with dilute it a bit. Or you can

crush the

> ice. Wish you could have a nap

>

> Hugs

Thanks ! Me too...but i think not...

i think she is feeling better tho...so i will

get that syrup for next time...thanks!

nancy...who has to go to jenna's teacher conference

in an hour..and has to bring both girls..

The FUN never ends...

[Guest guest]

Just have her sip it. The ice with dilute it a bit. Or you can

crush the

> ice. Wish you could have a nap

>

> Hugs

Thanks ! Me too...but i think not...

i think she is feeling better tho...so i will

get that syrup for next time...thanks!

nancy...who has to go to jenna's teacher conference

in an hour..and has to bring both girls..

The FUN never ends...

[Guest guest]

Just have her sip it. The ice with dilute it a bit. Or you can

crush the

> ice. Wish you could have a nap

>

> Hugs

Thanks ! Me too...but i think not...

i think she is feeling better tho...so i will

get that syrup for next time...thanks!

nancy...who has to go to jenna's teacher conference

in an hour..and has to bring both girls..

The FUN never ends...

[Guest guest]

Something else that works good is something called 'bitters'. You

can get

> it at any decent booze store. It's used for making various mixed

drinks.

>

> Georga Hackworth

would that be for rachelle or me???

bitters for her...mixed drink for me!!!!!!!!

nancy

[Guest guest]

Something else that works good is something called 'bitters'. You

can get

> it at any decent booze store. It's used for making various mixed

drinks.

>

> Georga Hackworth

would that be for rachelle or me???

bitters for her...mixed drink for me!!!!!!!!

nancy

[Guest guest]

Something else that works good is something called 'bitters'. You

can get

> it at any decent booze store. It's used for making various mixed

drinks.

>

> Georga Hackworth

would that be for rachelle or me???

bitters for her...mixed drink for me!!!!!!!!

nancy

[Guest guest]

> Now you can either back me and I can share his triumphs

> with you OR you can continue to make me feel isolated until I no

longer share things with you. It's your decision.

>

I love that ! I wish I'd thought to put it that way to my

husband. It took him YEARS to come around about and he's still

having problems accepting 's delays. : /

Tina

[Guest guest]

> Now you can either back me and I can share his triumphs

> with you OR you can continue to make me feel isolated until I no

longer share things with you. It's your decision.

>

I love that ! I wish I'd thought to put it that way to my

husband. It took him YEARS to come around about and he's still

having problems accepting 's delays. : /

Tina

[Guest guest]

> No problem; there is another (BJ's) on the list who is about

> that age. :-) Hope you're feeling better today.

That's probably where I got confused. : / I'm here today. I think

it's this lousy up & down spring weather. My sinuses are packed and

the migraine isn't letting up. Oh well, maybe tomorrow.

>When I look at , I see a child who can't move forward in

learning (and is therefore delayed cognitively) because of all the

garbage he is contending with...when walking out the door without

falling apart is a victory, reading moves way down on the list, ya

know?

>

Oh yes. is starting to read sight words but we're dealing with

major anxiety attacks that make school almost impossible for her some

days. I would love to see her learn to read at least on a 1st grade

level but she has to be able to stay in school for that to happen.

Right now she's in school but she's spending a lot of time in

the " quiet corner " . The anxiety has gotten worse for her as she's

developed. Until she was 8 we managed to control the behavior without

meds. She started Prozac at 8 1/2 because she just couldn't handle

school anymore. The anxiety and obsessive thoughts are just too much

for her some days.

> I'm not sure there is a way to adequately portray life in certain

> situations. Just like it isn't really possible to show people what

> it is like to live with constant pain, or what it is like to live

> with a child who is chronically ill...you can give people a feel

for it, but some things have to be experienced to be understood--and

> autism is one of those things, I'm finding out.

You're right. I know from watching the parents at the hospital

wheeling their bald children around the halls that I have no clue

what it's like to be dealing with a child with terminal cancer. That

was real life, not TV and I still can't understand their pain.

Sometimes when I get really angry about the autism I remind myself

that my children are still here with me. Many of those I saw when

was in the hospital at 1 & 2 aren't alive anymore. I can't even

begin to imagine the grief those parents have suffered. (well, I

can " imagine " but I'm sure even that isn't anywhere near the truth of

the situation.)

Tina

[Guest guest]

> No problem; there is another (BJ's) on the list who is about

> that age. :-) Hope you're feeling better today.

That's probably where I got confused. : / I'm here today. I think

it's this lousy up & down spring weather. My sinuses are packed and

the migraine isn't letting up. Oh well, maybe tomorrow.

>When I look at , I see a child who can't move forward in

learning (and is therefore delayed cognitively) because of all the

garbage he is contending with...when walking out the door without

falling apart is a victory, reading moves way down on the list, ya

know?

>

Oh yes. is starting to read sight words but we're dealing with

major anxiety attacks that make school almost impossible for her some

days. I would love to see her learn to read at least on a 1st grade

level but she has to be able to stay in school for that to happen.

Right now she's in school but she's spending a lot of time in

the " quiet corner " . The anxiety has gotten worse for her as she's

developed. Until she was 8 we managed to control the behavior without

meds. She started Prozac at 8 1/2 because she just couldn't handle

school anymore. The anxiety and obsessive thoughts are just too much

for her some days.

> I'm not sure there is a way to adequately portray life in certain

> situations. Just like it isn't really possible to show people what

> it is like to live with constant pain, or what it is like to live

> with a child who is chronically ill...you can give people a feel

for it, but some things have to be experienced to be understood--and

> autism is one of those things, I'm finding out.

You're right. I know from watching the parents at the hospital

wheeling their bald children around the halls that I have no clue

what it's like to be dealing with a child with terminal cancer. That

was real life, not TV and I still can't understand their pain.

Sometimes when I get really angry about the autism I remind myself

that my children are still here with me. Many of those I saw when

was in the hospital at 1 & 2 aren't alive anymore. I can't even

begin to imagine the grief those parents have suffered. (well, I

can " imagine " but I'm sure even that isn't anywhere near the truth of

the situation.)

Tina

[Guest guest]

> No problem; there is another (BJ's) on the list who is about

> that age. :-) Hope you're feeling better today.

That's probably where I got confused. : / I'm here today. I think

it's this lousy up & down spring weather. My sinuses are packed and

the migraine isn't letting up. Oh well, maybe tomorrow.

>When I look at , I see a child who can't move forward in

learning (and is therefore delayed cognitively) because of all the

garbage he is contending with...when walking out the door without

falling apart is a victory, reading moves way down on the list, ya

know?

>

Oh yes. is starting to read sight words but we're dealing with

major anxiety attacks that make school almost impossible for her some

days. I would love to see her learn to read at least on a 1st grade

level but she has to be able to stay in school for that to happen.

Right now she's in school but she's spending a lot of time in

the " quiet corner " . The anxiety has gotten worse for her as she's

developed. Until she was 8 we managed to control the behavior without

meds. She started Prozac at 8 1/2 because she just couldn't handle

school anymore. The anxiety and obsessive thoughts are just too much

for her some days.

> I'm not sure there is a way to adequately portray life in certain

> situations. Just like it isn't really possible to show people what

> it is like to live with constant pain, or what it is like to live

> with a child who is chronically ill...you can give people a feel

for it, but some things have to be experienced to be understood--and

> autism is one of those things, I'm finding out.

You're right. I know from watching the parents at the hospital

wheeling their bald children around the halls that I have no clue

what it's like to be dealing with a child with terminal cancer. That

was real life, not TV and I still can't understand their pain.

Sometimes when I get really angry about the autism I remind myself

that my children are still here with me. Many of those I saw when

was in the hospital at 1 & 2 aren't alive anymore. I can't even

begin to imagine the grief those parents have suffered. (well, I

can " imagine " but I'm sure even that isn't anywhere near the truth of

the situation.)

Tina

[Guest guest]

I know this feeling. I don't even mention the word autisic around

anyone anymore. Even . admits something is wrong with

Mark but he mostly thinks it's Mark being dificult. I try to explain

to him but it usually doesn't do any good. When I say Autism in

front of friends they say because I don't have an offical dx he

doesn't have it. (Even though my dr. agreed he has it.)

In the last while I have gotten quite frustrated with my MIL. I love

her and she is great but I absolutely hate when people tell me how to

be a parent and that I need to be harder on him. This is mainly

about the potty training. Granted she may have had two kids and

potty trained them but neither one had special needs. It's a little

different with everything.

I do have one family member who understands. My cousin. She is a

special needs kindergarden teacher and has an autistic boy in her

class. She is very helpful, even if she only listens to me vent

every now and then.

Life would be much easier if people only understood a little.

Tina Reese-who is pretty sure my family thinks I'm insane.

No one is going to tell you your child is anything

> other than perfectly normal, let alone autistic. what am I

going to

> do with these people when the official diagnosis comes around?

Does the

> entire family think that I am insane?

[Guest guest]

I know this feeling. I don't even mention the word autisic around

anyone anymore. Even . admits something is wrong with

Mark but he mostly thinks it's Mark being dificult. I try to explain

to him but it usually doesn't do any good. When I say Autism in

front of friends they say because I don't have an offical dx he

doesn't have it. (Even though my dr. agreed he has it.)

In the last while I have gotten quite frustrated with my MIL. I love

her and she is great but I absolutely hate when people tell me how to

be a parent and that I need to be harder on him. This is mainly

about the potty training. Granted she may have had two kids and

potty trained them but neither one had special needs. It's a little

different with everything.

I do have one family member who understands. My cousin. She is a

special needs kindergarden teacher and has an autistic boy in her

class. She is very helpful, even if she only listens to me vent

every now and then.

Life would be much easier if people only understood a little.

Tina Reese-who is pretty sure my family thinks I'm insane.

No one is going to tell you your child is anything

> other than perfectly normal, let alone autistic. what am I

going to

> do with these people when the official diagnosis comes around?

Does the

> entire family think that I am insane?

[Guest guest]

I know this feeling. I don't even mention the word autisic around

anyone anymore. Even . admits something is wrong with

Mark but he mostly thinks it's Mark being dificult. I try to explain

to him but it usually doesn't do any good. When I say Autism in

front of friends they say because I don't have an offical dx he

doesn't have it. (Even though my dr. agreed he has it.)

In the last while I have gotten quite frustrated with my MIL. I love

her and she is great but I absolutely hate when people tell me how to

be a parent and that I need to be harder on him. This is mainly

about the potty training. Granted she may have had two kids and

potty trained them but neither one had special needs. It's a little

different with everything.

I do have one family member who understands. My cousin. She is a

special needs kindergarden teacher and has an autistic boy in her

class. She is very helpful, even if she only listens to me vent

every now and then.

Life would be much easier if people only understood a little.

Tina Reese-who is pretty sure my family thinks I'm insane.

No one is going to tell you your child is anything

> other than perfectly normal, let alone autistic. what am I

going to

> do with these people when the official diagnosis comes around?

Does the

> entire family think that I am insane?

[Guest guest]

Tina, Don't let these well-meaning people give you a headache. We,

too, took forever to " get " toilet training. And everyone including

the dumbshit pediatrician had dumb advice. Brandt's Parents As

Teachers instructor (who had worked with him since birth) told me

that she had NEVER had a child who worked with her in class or in PAT

that wasn't potty trained by three at the latest. I just told

her, " Well, you have one now! " He did " get it " shortly after three

years for urinating and about six months later for pooping. He just

wasn't ready yet. He had four different potty chairs, 20 pair of

cool big boy underpants, and had memorized the One Upon a Potty

video, but he wasn't ready. The is the key, not being firm with

them. People with NT kids just don't get it! tell them to bugger

off! Leggs

[Guest guest]

Tina, Don't let these well-meaning people give you a headache. We,

too, took forever to " get " toilet training. And everyone including

the dumbshit pediatrician had dumb advice. Brandt's Parents As

Teachers instructor (who had worked with him since birth) told me

that she had NEVER had a child who worked with her in class or in PAT

that wasn't potty trained by three at the latest. I just told

her, " Well, you have one now! " He did " get it " shortly after three

years for urinating and about six months later for pooping. He just

wasn't ready yet. He had four different potty chairs, 20 pair of

cool big boy underpants, and had memorized the One Upon a Potty

video, but he wasn't ready. The is the key, not being firm with

them. People with NT kids just don't get it! tell them to bugger

off! Leggs

[Guest guest]

I still have to have him tested. I'm trying to find a different

place than the dr. gave me. I heard bad things about that place.

Tina R

> In a message dated 4/8/03 10:44:02 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

twkrnag@a...

> writes:

>

> > because I don't have an offical dx he doesn't have it.

>

> Why don't you have a dx?

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I still have to have him tested. I'm trying to find a different

place than the dr. gave me. I heard bad things about that place.

Tina R

> In a message dated 4/8/03 10:44:02 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

twkrnag@a...

> writes:

>

> > because I don't have an offical dx he doesn't have it.

>

> Why don't you have a dx?

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Leggs, I understand that. But I guess it's not only with the

potty training. It has to do with his behavior too. They insist

Mark is prefectly normal, which he is for himself. Mark lives the

only life he has ever known. What really upsets me is when people

don't understand and they blame me for being too easy on him. They

say he is only rebelling. Which at times I'm sure he is but at

others he can't help it.

For example his speech has been getting worse again. BUT at the same

time he is doing great with potty training. (Not one accident in two

days!!) I tried to explain to this morning that sometimes when

he excels at one things he will regress in other ways. made a

comment that that is no way to live, and what kind of life will Mark

have if he is that way. He said if that was him he wouldn't want

to live like that he would rather not live. I told him this is the

only life Mark knows and he will be happy.

Don't get me wrong. loves Mark to death and would do anything

for him but I just don't think he understands it fully. I think it's

hard for him to accept.

Tina Reese

[Guest guest]

Thanks Leggs, I understand that. But I guess it's not only with the

potty training. It has to do with his behavior too. They insist

Mark is prefectly normal, which he is for himself. Mark lives the

only life he has ever known. What really upsets me is when people

don't understand and they blame me for being too easy on him. They

say he is only rebelling. Which at times I'm sure he is but at

others he can't help it.

For example his speech has been getting worse again. BUT at the same

time he is doing great with potty training. (Not one accident in two

days!!) I tried to explain to this morning that sometimes when

he excels at one things he will regress in other ways. made a

comment that that is no way to live, and what kind of life will Mark

have if he is that way. He said if that was him he wouldn't want

to live like that he would rather not live. I told him this is the

only life Mark knows and he will be happy.

Don't get me wrong. loves Mark to death and would do anything

for him but I just don't think he understands it fully. I think it's

hard for him to accept.

Tina Reese

[Guest guest]

Thanks Leggs, I understand that. But I guess it's not only with the

potty training. It has to do with his behavior too. They insist

Mark is prefectly normal, which he is for himself. Mark lives the

only life he has ever known. What really upsets me is when people

don't understand and they blame me for being too easy on him. They

say he is only rebelling. Which at times I'm sure he is but at

others he can't help it.

For example his speech has been getting worse again. BUT at the same

time he is doing great with potty training. (Not one accident in two

days!!) I tried to explain to this morning that sometimes when

he excels at one things he will regress in other ways. made a

comment that that is no way to live, and what kind of life will Mark

have if he is that way. He said if that was him he wouldn't want

to live like that he would rather not live. I told him this is the

only life Mark knows and he will be happy.

Don't get me wrong. loves Mark to death and would do anything

for him but I just don't think he understands it fully. I think it's

hard for him to accept.

Tina Reese

[Guest guest]

Tina, I think nearly everyone will chime in here to say that for

some reason this dx is hard for dads to take, even if they are

stepdads (and is much more Mark's dad than his sperm donor dad

is, isn't he?) My hubby has been dealing with the dx for almost 2

years and he still is in denial somewhat. If it seems too scary,

then he doesn't want to hear it. Doesn't want to think about what it

might be like in the future. Doesn't want to read books or

articles. He just wants me to deal with all of that. I just keep

giving him more and more time with him and more and more info.

Someday he will come around. My father is just the same. My mom

gets it, my dad thinks I am too easy on him. My parents fight about

this more than Dave and I do. LOL! Just hang in there.

obviously loves Mark and will come around soon. Leggs

[Guest guest]

Tina, I think nearly everyone will chime in here to say that for

some reason this dx is hard for dads to take, even if they are

stepdads (and is much more Mark's dad than his sperm donor dad

is, isn't he?) My hubby has been dealing with the dx for almost 2

years and he still is in denial somewhat. If it seems too scary,

then he doesn't want to hear it. Doesn't want to think about what it

might be like in the future. Doesn't want to read books or

articles. He just wants me to deal with all of that. I just keep

giving him more and more time with him and more and more info.

Someday he will come around. My father is just the same. My mom

gets it, my dad thinks I am too easy on him. My parents fight about

this more than Dave and I do. LOL! Just hang in there.

obviously loves Mark and will come around soon. Leggs