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lonely and miserable

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i think the title explains it all

basically, I've been going to physical therapy for vestibulitis for

about 3 months now. the pain is excruciating and towards the end of

the session Im shaky and and slightly nauseous. I'm supposed to go

back to my other doctor at the Rush center for pevic pain/disorders on

Monday to see if i can get Elavil or neurotin (sp?) to help with the pain.

everything just seems like its too much to handle. at the moment I'm

scheduled to graduate from college in a couple months, I'm working,

I'm trying to loose weight (and failing horribly at it) and I already

have 2 other conditions to worry about, one thats horribly

embarrassing, and the other no ones heard of and it causes me a lot of

pain every day.

I've been sifting through success stories from everyone but i just

don't know what to do or where to start. I'm just so busy and annoyed

and angry at myself that I feel like I'm going to explode! I try

following restrictive diets, but i just can't: one food thats good for

one condition is bad for another!!! I've seen different doctors, both

in and out of my moms insurance network and its costing a fortune and

nothing is helping.

on top of that I'm afraid to meet anyone new. my past relationships

have gone really wrong. I've got so much going on that I think I would

send any respectable guy running away from me screaming.

honestly i just want to sleep all day and all night and just not think

about anything.

apologies if i seem a bit self centered or narcissistic...i just

counted the number of " I's " I typed....

GAAAAH#$%#^$@

-katie

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