Re: Sisters and mothers, brothers and fathers, etc./reply

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Lectures are not needed! My mother spoke English flawlessly as a secondlanguage, and felt secure with us--not that her advice was not flawless, too!Love,nTo: MSersLife Sent: Fri, March 25, 2011 4:38:42 AMSubject: Re:

Sisters and mothers, brothers and fathers, etc.

Once again, dear n, a beautiful and poignant post. It's so wonderful to read all the events and people in your life that molded you into the precious person you are.I find some of this convicting; I don't really offer my children much in the area of 'lectures'. Mostly keeping them warm, safe and fed! I need to learn from what you wrote. Thanks so much for sharing, n.Love,KateTo: MSersLife Sent: Thu, March 24, 2011

7:38:01 PMSubject: Sisters and mothers, brothers and fathers, etc.

Akiba's comments about her family got me to thinking--again!I had one sister 14.5 years older than I, and still have four brothersvarying ages older than am I.My sister was a troubled soul, but was a genuine comic; she carefully taught me how to make the sound of a squeaking door as inthe old radio mystery, Inner Sanctum. I still have fun entertainingsmall children with this one.My mother was a professional pianist who took music seriously,and cooking healthful foods seriously, but who laughed at mosteverything else. Yes, I play instruments and cook!I grew up with a family filled with laughter and appreciation of allgood things in life, and compassion toward those not so fortunate.My mother used to give me serious

"lecture-ettes" at the breakfasttable, when the two of us were alone (I eat very slowly.). She wouldplace her hand on my forearm, which meant that my arm was now nailed to the table, and I would listen as she gave me her "wisdomof the day," as my sister termed it.Then I would run upstairs to my father's study (he was an attorney),and recite the little lecture to him. He would say, "Kid, listen to yourMuthah; do what your Muthah says!" Not that he did not have little personal advice sessions with me, too.My father lived to 97, dying in 1994, and my mother lived to 101,dying in 2000; my sister died shortly thereafter at the tender age of78. I still miss her--especially the phone calls, which were usuallyhilarious; Jane called to get information from me and when I produced the requested set of facts, she would say things like:"Sooo, How did you learn so much about

all this?" I overcamethe urge to say, "You're welcome, Jane," and came up with an excuseto leave the phone. She invariably called back in tears at the merenotion that I, n, might be peeved at her, Jane. So, I decidedthat it was best not to argue with her--ever. I just told her that I had noreason to be angry with her and that I loved her, which I did.Oddly, I was the daughter who got along with our four brothers andenjoy them still. I think she just did not understand people, her ownchildren included. I always felt rather sorry for her and felt that I wasreally fortunate.Our mother relied on me for constant companionship, so I, the youngestof six, grew up rather more like an older child--which, I suppose, is whyone of my favorite cousins asked me if I would be her "Big Sister."I am nearly 74, and she is just 66, so I agreed, and happily.

Poorthing, she was the eldest of five!I rather like a comment made in one of his writings by Antoine deSaint-Exupery (who wrote "The Little Prince) about family and friends.I have to paraphrase it: "We all have family members, relatives, butthen, and perhaps more significant, is 'the family of choice, friends.'"Well, we did not choose to have MS, but we do choose to befriendothers here with us who are coping with our "Multiple Surprises."So, for Akiba and those whom she has lost, for all relatives whomeach of us has lost, I think that Saint-Exupery said it best.Love to you all, and especially to you, Akiba, and to others whohave lost family members,nn