TGIF (and boy, do we need it this week!)

[Guest guest]

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way

computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX),Bill Gates reportedly compared the

computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we

would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release

stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving

cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........

Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to

buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You

would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows,

shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could

continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause

your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would

have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was

reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would

run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all

be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation'

warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out

and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door

handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn

how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate

in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off

PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call

'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some

foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!