A Cindy Saga...on topic and off topic

[Guest guest]

Well, I gained 10 pounds like a snap of the finger,and

with a quick call to my transplant coordinator, she

put me on 2 forms of diuretics. Now, factor in I am

only 120 pounds, 5'1 " . So after a week...and oh my

gosh tons of peeing, I peeled off those 10 pounds.

But, I started to experience on Thursday, these

unusual symptoms. I took my diuretics and left for

work. Got to work and was taking my first call of the

day and I felt hot behind my neck and a prickly

sensation in my heck and lower head like I was

definitely going to pass out. I went to the bathroom

and thought I was going to vomit, but didn't. Came

back, told my supervisor I needed to leave. She

okayed me to leave, asked if I had a ride, to which I

told her " yeah " ....AND I DID NOT HAVE A RIDE.

I knew I could call my sister in a heartbeat to come

get me, but I was in panic mode, My body started

shaking, spefically my legs, they hurt, I had to keep

moving them, I felt very agitated. I walked out of

the building, got to my car, threw my belongings in

there...realized my badge was inside the bldg. and

when I returned to work I wouldn't get back inside.

So I stupidily, walked back to the bldg. waiting for

someone else to show up to work (people come at go at

15 minute intervals), and got back into the bldg,

grabbed my badge, and waltzed back out, still feeling

all those freakin symptoms. I got in my car, looked

at my cell phone, thought about calling my sister

again..decided against it and started to drive away.

I got about a block from work, felt even worse (panic

attack maybe set in....definitely thought I was

dying), called my husband who is 30 minutes away from

where I was....he tried to calm me, told me to pull

off the road in a parking lot, lay down for about 30

minutes until I felt better. I told him I couldn't

because I was going to throw up....he assured me it

was ok to puke in a parking lot. Of course it was

more than that, I had to keep going poop (jpouch and

all), but I crawled into the back on my car, with the

car running, tried to lay down, couldn't get

comfortable, kept thinking I was going to die.

Climbed back into the front seat....heard my deceased

mother say, " baby, you need to get home, let me help. "

I smelled strong cigaret smell (my mom did not

smoke). Anyway, I got home...how, I DO NOT KNOW...I

don't remember the drive, but I must have driven

myself. Got out of my car, stumbled into the house,

still feeling panicky, now feeling very agitated, hot

and very very weak, could hardly breath and couldn't

hardly talk. I stripped off some of my clothes

crawled in my bed, thinking at least I would be in my

bed when I was found. Somehow, I opened up my cell

phone and punched Mike's number, he answered and knew

it was me, but I couldn't speak. He said he was on

his way....he was 5 minutes from home.

I got up between that time to go to the bathroom,

stripped all of my clothes off and when he came in, he

says I was writhering on the floor between the

bathroom and hallway and did not want to get up. He

called an ambulance and I remember him arguing with

them as they were asking more questions than he was

patient to answer. He tried to dress me back up and

got me in my bed. The Rescue squad arrived and were

screaming at me to talk to them, my focus wasn't so

good because I kept forgetting they were there. They

said I was not in respiratory distress, and the

Ambulance arrived...I remember the lady being mean as

bull-crap. She kept yelling at me. I couldn't lay

still I was so agitated.

Anyway, they ran every freakin test they could in the

ER and they came up with zilch. The doctor on call

did say they saw 2 ekgs with Vtac. Ok, don't tell me

that is nothing, because that is what killed my father

and my brother. But it happed 2 times and was gone.

Said they couldn't compare it any other eks I might

have had. I said, BS....I had gone to the ER, just

back in March for some sort of distress a little

milder than this and they found a ekg with vtac and

then nothing, went to a cardiologist, did a stress

test, nothing.

I came home 4 hours later, just baffled, but so weak I

didn't care to live. I couldn't sleep, took an ambien

cr 6.25,,still coudln't sleep, took a 2nd one an hour

later...I just wanted to sleep.... I couldn't get

comfortable...took a 3rd and a 4th and 5th during the

night and still never slept. I called off work the

next day, never got out of bed, didn't want tv on,

didn't want to live...called my sister sobbing about

my life...how it was meaningless, I didn't use my life

well...you know the pity party. I found out my

husband never called my sister or my kids to let them

know I went to the hospital...he was embarassed about

it because nothing was found. I remember telling him,

if you care about me, you need to inform my family on

my behalf, at least give them the benefit to make a

decision to come or not. If I had died, and nobody

was called, he would be answering to 3 very irate

loved ones of mine.

My sister talked me through the next 2 days, and she

called me this morning.

Mike and I went on line and determined that perhaps

that overheating caused the fentalyn patch to express

more out than it should have. I have had some patch

failures as well. Because it is Saturday, I can't

call anybody, but I have decided I am comimng off that

patch, and I was wondering if anybody has experience

with that. I am going to see my family doctor so he

can start the step down because obviously you can't

ween down a patch...but I am scared because my

research shows that restless leg syndrome is

experienced in withdrawls and that is so freakishly

painful.

I don't think my transplant team has done a good job

of monitoring my drugs, because they keep adding but

never take any off when they add another and I think

it does toxify the body.

Cindy Baudoux-Northrup