Re: Re: Unexpededly Pregnant and PSC husband Too Afraid

[Guest guest]

Hi Lezlee,

My husband died when my boys were just turned 3 and 5 years old. Wesley my 5 year old is now 13 and has been diagnosed with PSC and UC since the age of 3. The biggest blessing for all three of us has been my boys having each other.

The new baby will give all of you something else to think of ,,,and if something were to happen ,,,there is no measure to the comfort the second sibling will bring to your son and you.

Marna, Wesley, and Colin

Subject: Re: Unexpededly Pregnant and PSC husband Too AfraidTo: Date: Monday, September 15, 2008, 2:16 PM

Lezlee, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I imagine your husband is in a panic. Please try to be compassionate. I have often thought about what getting sick and possibly dying would mean for my children and my spouse, and it's a heavy burden. Moreove, men often feel also the financial burden of having to provide financially, and a baby is a major financial responsibility. I don't know if you are in the States, but if you are, then there is also the issue of health insurance and the fact that someone needs to be working in order for the family to be covered. I've thought about all these things.But Lezlee, a baby is such a gift. I'm sure that he will love and celebrate this baby every day of his or her life. Just give him time, listen patiently and compassionately to his fears, maybe send him to a counselor to talk it through, help him face his fears and find the strength to go on

despite them. Help him find the joy in every day of living with the blessing of children. Give him time and be patient but _believe_ that he will love this child.If you are worried about his stress level hurting his health, maybe he could do a short course of anti-anxiety medicine. It can help push him out of his state.You'll be in my thoughts, what a tough situation. But I am very happy for you as well.RuthUC - 2000, Colectomy - 2007, PSC - 2008>> This is so personal, and I can't believe I'm writing this on this forum - but I'm really conflicted. My husband is 44yrs old. I'm 40yrs. We have a 3 1/2yr old healthy boy. I agreed and was happy with our one child because of my

husband's illness and simply because he didn't want any more children. Well, we got pregnant accidentally. It just happened. I knew he would be upset, but he has really been over the top about it. My heart tells me this happened for a reason, and that I just can't stop something that is in progress simply because of what might happen in the future. Right now, my husband is fine. He takes his meds, sees doctor regularly, gets bloodwork, colonoscopies etc. Yes, it weighs heavy on him. His father died young and he is terrified of this. But no one has a crystal ball. > > He feels trapped, stressed, and I worry that this stress may indeed be hurting him more - yet I feel that his negative thinking isn't healthy or productive. Many people handle challenges differently. Living with continual fear is not right

either.> > Any thoughts?>