Unexpededly Pregnant and PSC husband Too Afraid

[Guest guest]

This is so personal, and I can't believe I'm writing this on this forum - but I'm really conflicted. My husband is 44yrs old. I'm 40yrs. We have a 3 1/2yr old healthy boy. I agreed and was happy with our one child because of my husband's illness and simply because he didn't want any more children. Well, we got pregnant accidentally. It just happened. I knew he would be upset, but he has really been over the top about it. My heart tells me this happened for a reason, and that I just can't stop something that is in progress simply because of what might happen in the future. Right now, my husband is fine. He takes his meds, sees doctor regularly, gets bloodwork, colonoscopies etc. Yes, it weighs heavy on him. His father died young and he is terrified of this. But no one has a

crystal ball.

He feels trapped, stressed, and I worry that this stress may indeed be hurting him more - yet I feel that his negative thinking isn't healthy or productive. Many people handle challenges differently. Living with continual fear is not right either.

Any thoughts?

[Guest guest]

Lezlee,

Thanks for sharing. This is my opinion based upon my beliefs in the bible, experience and the shared experience of many others. That baby may not have been planned by you or your husband but it was God's plan. You are right when you say "no one has a crystal ball" knowing the future but He created that little soul for his own plans and purposes. Please seek & trust Him, not your own circumstances, experiences, fears, plans, the unknown, etc. How exciting to be blessed with another baby.

I am 39 and I have a precious little girl now 10 months old, and my circumstances are not good at all or easy, but I know God has His plans & purposes for Eliana Grace and we are trusting Him. Who are we to interfere? If I should be so blessed I would like to have at least 1 more baby or 2??

How many weeks are you?

Lori A.

"Aggressively Pursuing Solutions To Your Real Estate Needs!"

First Weber Group

Cell:

1507 E. Sunset Drive

Waukesha, WI 53189

LoriUSA@...

www.Lori.FirstWeber.com

Unexpededly Pregnant and PSC husband Too Afraid

This is so personal, and I can't believe I'm writing this on this forum - but I'm really conflicted. My husband is 44yrs old. I'm 40yrs. We have a 3 1/2yr old healthy boy. I agreed and was happy with our one child because of my husband's illness and simply because he didn't want any more children. Well, we got pregnant accidentally. It just happened. I knew he would be upset, but he has really been over the top about it. My heart tells me this happened for a reason, and that I just can't stop something that is in progress simply because of what might happen in the future. Right now, my husband is fine. He takes his meds, sees doctor regularly, gets bloodwork, colonoscopies etc. Yes, it weighs heavy on him. His father died young and he is terrified of this. But no one has a crystal ball.

He feels trapped, stressed, and I worry that this stress may indeed be hurting him more - yet I feel that his negative thinking isn't healthy or productive. Many people handle challenges differently. Living with continual fear is not right either.

Any thoughts?

[Guest guest]

Lezlee,

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I imagine your husband is in

a panic. Please try to be compassionate. I have often thought about

what getting sick and possibly dying would mean for my children and

my spouse, and it's a heavy burden. Moreove, men often feel also the

financial burden of having to provide financially, and a baby is a

major financial responsibility. I don't know if you are in the

States, but if you are, then there is also the issue of health

insurance and the fact that someone needs to be working in order for

the family to be covered. I've thought about all these things.

But Lezlee, a baby is such a gift. I'm sure that he will love and

celebrate this baby every day of his or her life. Just give him time,

listen patiently and compassionately to his fears, maybe send him to

a counselor to talk it through, help him face his fears and find the

strength to go on despite them. Help him find the joy in every day of

living with the blessing of children. Give him time and be patient

but _believe_ that he will love this child.

If you are worried about his stress level hurting his health, maybe

he could do a short course of anti-anxiety medicine. It can help push

him out of his state.

You'll be in my thoughts, what a tough situation. But I am very happy

for you as well.

Ruth

UC - 2000, Colectomy - 2007, PSC - 2008

>

> This is so personal, and I can't believe I'm writing this on this

forum - but I'm really conflicted.  My husband is 44yrs old.  I'm

40yrs.  We have a 3 1/2yr old healthy boy.  I agreed and was happy

with our one child because of my husband's illness and simply because

he didn't want any more children.  Well, we got pregnant

accidentally.  It just happened.  I knew he would be upset, but he

has really been over the top about it.  My heart tells me this

happened for a reason, and that I just can't stop something that is

in progress simply because of what might happen in the future.  Right

now, my husband is fine.  He takes his meds, sees doctor regularly,

gets bloodwork, colonoscopies etc.  Yes, it weighs heavy on him.  His

father died young and he is terrified of this.  But no one has a

crystal ball. 

>  

> He feels trapped, stressed, and I worry that this stress may indeed

be hurting him more - yet I feel that his negative thinking isn't

healthy or productive.  Many people handle challenges differently. 

Living with continual fear is not right either.

>  

> Any thoughts?

>