Re: Strange responses to knowledge of illness

[Guest guest]

Rudy Joyce

My kids had difficulty accepting their father's illness and then my illness. They, especially the younger one, didn't like to talk about it. They appeared to be in denial. Of course, being computer people, both of them looked up whatever they could find about both diseases on the internet.

it is difficult having a both a father and a mother with fatal diseases. Of course, everyone dies, but when and how are the unknowns. Better later than sooner, better no suffering than suffering.

their father, my ex, is a good role model for me. He does everything he can to live or "exist". His prognosis was 1 - 5 years. It has been about 9 or 10 years for him.

when the girls compare me to him, they see me as being the healthier one. I can walk, talk, breath with O2, eat, move all of my limbs, take care of myself, etc. He can't do anything for himself. He is on a ventilator, feeding tube and I don't know what else.

so they do get upset when we are first diagnosed and they deal with it their own way. We may not realize just how they are dealing with it.

When my grandson was a newborn, i overheard my daughter talking to him about will get to know his grandparents or something to that effect.

she never said it to me,

so what your son says to you, may be the only way he can deal with it with you right now

he might not know how to deal with it and he might be angry that his mother has a horrible disease

last summer when my kids wanted me to do something and I said i couldn't do it anymore, they got upset realizing that I do not have the same abilities that i used to have

it was upsetting for them

i hope this makes sense

it will take time for your son to come around, he needs to deal with your disease on his own terms

Pink Joyce IPF 3/06 Pennsylvania

Donate Life> From: greycharlie <greycharlie@ q.com>> Subject: Strange responses to knowledge of illness> To: Breathe-Support@ yahoogroups.

com> Date: Thursday, January 15, 2009, 5:45 PM> When I told a few friends and my son that I had an illness> that was > terminal some of them and my son responded with:Well, we> all have to go > sometime. Has anyone had someone say this to them and if so> what do you > say when they say that? It hurt me deeply when my son said> that to me. > And, it is such a cold thing to say.....it also hurt when> my friends > say it to me or as one said well, you are getting old you> didn't expect > to live to be 90 did you? (actually I did! LOL ). Joyce R.> Prescott AZ > PF Nov o8