Why Do Friends Not Believe Us

[Guest guest]

Hi. I'm pretty new here and I've been reading everyone's posts. I am

so glad I'm not alone! I really have wondered sometimes if I'm out of

my mind. I'm glad to see that if I am that there's a lot of other

people right there with me! LOL! I was diagnosed with fibro in 1997

right after my son turned 2 and have now not been able to work for

over 2 1/2 years. I have filed for my disability, but that's like

pulling teeth! The thing is, I'm only 33. I recently had a situation

with a long time friend (we had been friends since grade school)that

made me really realize that unless you have this debilitating pain,

you really don't understand what we feel like. Upon ending our

friendship she sent me a hateful letter stating that she didn't ever

believe that I had fibro. That I was just making it up to get out of

going places or doing things with her. She said she always knew I was

lying to her when I would call her the day we were supposed to do

something and cancel because I was sick. She told me I should be

ashamed of myself trying to play like I had an illness to get pitty

from people and get out of working when I was just plain lazy and

that I was sorry for not getting out and getting another job.

Now, this is a person who has seen all the times I've been to

different doctors or been in the hospital or been with me on trips to

get my medications from the pharmacy. Yet she still didn't believe

me. I know a lot of people don't believe us when we say we just hurt

and can't pin point it because it's everywhere at once. Nobody

understand when we say if feels like our bodys have the aches from

the flu on a daily basis when we don't have other symptoms. Or when

we try to explain we are trying our best to pull our selves out the

the depressions we can have. I am so thankful I have found this site

with people who CAN understand and that know that this is real and

how it makes it where we can't play with our children like we want or

do things most normal people can do our ages. I am praying for each

and every one of you. Thank ya'll so much for being there!

[Guest guest]

I know exactly what you mean. My mother was telling people behind my back that

there was nothing wrong with me. That I was just lazy and didn't want to work. I

left a job I had for 15 years that paid me almost $15 an hour with great medical

and other nice benefits. It killed me to walk away from that job because of my

illnesses. We don't ask to have fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue. We don't ask to

have severe depression or lupus or anything else. And you are right. If they

don't have this debilitating chronic pain, they just don't understand.

Angie in Arizona

Why Do " Friends " Not Believe Us

Hi. I'm pretty new here and I've been reading everyone's posts. I am

so glad I'm not alone! I really have wondered sometimes if I'm out of

my mind. I'm glad to see that if I am that there's a lot of other

people right there with me! LOL! I was diagnosed with fibro in 1997

right after my son turned 2 and have now not been able to work for

over 2 1/2 years. I have filed for my disability, but that's like

pulling teeth! The thing is, I'm only 33. I recently had a situation

with a long time friend (we had been friends since grade school)that

made me really realize that unless you have this debilitating pain,

you really don't understand what we feel like. Upon ending our

friendship she sent me a hateful letter stating that she didn't ever

believe that I had fibro. That I was just making it up to get out of

going places or doing things with her. She said she always knew I was

lying to her when I would call her the day we were supposed to do

something and cancel because I was sick. She told me I should be

ashamed of myself trying to play like I had an illness to get pitty

from people and get out of working when I was just plain lazy and

that I was sorry for not getting out and getting another job.

Now, this is a person who has seen all the times I've been to

different doctors or been in the hospital or been with me on trips to

get my medications from the pharmacy. Yet she still didn't believe

me. I know a lot of people don't believe us when we say we just hurt

and can't pin point it because it's everywhere at once. Nobody

understand when we say if feels like our bodys have the aches from

the flu on a daily basis when we don't have other symptoms. Or when

we try to explain we are trying our best to pull our selves out the

the depressions we can have. I am so thankful I have found this site

with people who CAN understand and that know that this is real and

how it makes it where we can't play with our children like we want or

do things most normal people can do our ages. I am praying for each

and every one of you. Thank ya'll so much for being there!

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total

Access, No Cost.

http://tc.deals.yahoo.com/tc/blockbuster/text5.com

[Guest guest]

Hi and welcome i completly understand everything u just wrote. Please excuse

any typos in in soooo much pain today that i cant sit up in the chair so im

laying down and trying to type. Anyways, my name is and im 29 i was

diagnosed about 5 years ago. I have 4 kids under 8 the youngest being 9

months. i have gotten soooo much worse since i had my son 9 months ago. i

can barley leave the house and i often feel as if my friends dont believe me

and i also know the guilt of not being able to do things with your kids, i

deal with that every single day. I love this group and im so glad u found

it. I really just wanted to welcome u and let u know if you would ever like

to email me personally your more than welcome to. 4isit4us@... Take

care and Hugs~~ oh and I did win my disability case, it is a fight, but

dont give up u deserve it.i was 28 when i won but it was backdated to when i

was 26.

On Tue, Apr 8, 2008 at 3:30 PM, moviestarreject2007 <

moviestarreject2007@...> wrote:

> Hi. I'm pretty new here and I've been reading everyone's posts. I am

> so glad I'm not alone! I really have wondered sometimes if I'm out of

> my mind. I'm glad to see that if I am that there's a lot of other

> people right there with me! LOL! I was diagnosed with fibro in 1997

> right after my son turned 2 and have now not been able to work for

> over 2 1/2 years. I have filed for my disability, but that's like

> pulling teeth! The thing is, I'm only 33. I recently had a situation

> with a long time friend (we had been friends since grade school)that

> made me really realize that unless you have this debilitating pain,

> you really don't understand what we feel like. Upon ending our

> friendship she sent me a hateful letter stating that she didn't ever

> believe that I had fibro. That I was just making it up to get out of

> going places or doing things with her. She said she always knew I was

> lying to her when I would call her the day we were supposed to do

> something and cancel because I was sick. She told me I should be

> ashamed of myself trying to play like I had an illness to get pitty

> from people and get out of working when I was just plain lazy and

> that I was sorry for not getting out and getting another job.

>

> Now, this is a person who has seen all the times I've been to

> different doctors or been in the hospital or been with me on trips to

> get my medications from the pharmacy. Yet she still didn't believe

> me. I know a lot of people don't believe us when we say we just hurt

> and can't pin point it because it's everywhere at once. Nobody

> understand when we say if feels like our bodys have the aches from

> the flu on a daily basis when we don't have other symptoms. Or when

> we try to explain we are trying our best to pull our selves out the

> the depressions we can have. I am so thankful I have found this site

> with people who CAN understand and that know that this is real and

> how it makes it where we can't play with our children like we want or

> do things most normal people can do our ages. I am praying for each

> and every one of you. Thank ya'll so much for being there!

>

>

>

--

~Fibromyalgia~

~Like a thief in the night, You changed my life ~

~Dwayne~~Makenna~Jayden~Janessa~Keegan~

[Guest guest]

I know how you are feeling. I had my husband and kids saying those

things to me when my pain started spreading and getting worse. They

would also tell me that I was just getting old and couldn't handle

things anymore. My oldest son even went as far as to tell me it was

in my head and that the pain really didn't exist. My husband even

told people that it wasn't fibro before I was diagnosed with it and

that I needed to quit telling people that's what it was. My husband

even went to the extent to tell me to just go out and get an easy job

that I could handle since the doc's won't let me go back to work and

they won't fill out the disability papers.

I can understand part of his point with the work thing because I have

been off of work for over a year now and we are really hurting

financially. But he doesn't understand I can't go get a job and then

start hurting again, my doctor could very easily say, " I'm not

treating you because you were never released to go back to work. " He

just doesn't understand. I catch him rolling his eyes once in a

while when I talk about it, he just doesn't understand at all.

I got to the point that I got tired of hearing it and went out and

bought a book on fibro but I can't get any of them to even look at

it. None of them like to read but you would think that they would

read this. They don't understand and I have even tried to read it to

them but they won't have anything to do with it.

They are starting to get better but it is coming slowly. I can't

stand and do my dishes anymore but I can't get any of them to do the

dishes either so I end up doing them and I'm in severe pain by the

time I'm done and not a one of them says or does anything to help

out. I live with my husband and 4 sons and I get very little help

from them so I know how you feel.

I will keep you in my prayers.

>

> Hi. I'm pretty new here and I've been reading everyone's posts. I

am

> so glad I'm not alone! I really have wondered sometimes if I'm out

of

> my mind. I'm glad to see that if I am that there's a lot of other

> people right there with me! LOL! I was diagnosed with fibro in 1997

> right after my son turned 2 and have now not been able to work for

> over 2 1/2 years. I have filed for my disability, but that's like

> pulling teeth! The thing is, I'm only 33. I recently had a

situation

> with a long time friend (we had been friends since grade school)

that

> made me really realize that unless you have this debilitating pain,

> you really don't understand what we feel like. Upon ending our

> friendship she sent me a hateful letter stating that she didn't

ever

> believe that I had fibro. That I was just making it up to get out

of

> going places or doing things with her. She said she always knew I

was

> lying to her when I would call her the day we were supposed to do

> something and cancel because I was sick. She told me I should be

> ashamed of myself trying to play like I had an illness to get pitty

> from people and get out of working when I was just plain lazy and

> that I was sorry for not getting out and getting another job.

>

> Now, this is a person who has seen all the times I've been to

> different doctors or been in the hospital or been with me on trips

to

> get my medications from the pharmacy. Yet she still didn't believe

> me. I know a lot of people don't believe us when we say we just

hurt

> and can't pin point it because it's everywhere at once. Nobody

> understand when we say if feels like our bodys have the aches from

> the flu on a daily basis when we don't have other symptoms. Or when

> we try to explain we are trying our best to pull our selves out the

> the depressions we can have. I am so thankful I have found this

site

> with people who CAN understand and that know that this is real and

> how it makes it where we can't play with our children like we want

or

> do things most normal people can do our ages. I am praying for each

> and every one of you. Thank ya'll so much for being there!

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome and sorry you have to be here. But glad you found us. That

supposed friend sounds like alot of others we all rub shoulders with.

Can't change those who have closed their minds.

girlsaylor

>>snip

I recently had a situation

> with a long time friend (we had been friends since grade school)that

> made me really realize that unless you have this debilitating pain,

> you really don't understand what we feel like. Upon ending our

> friendship she sent me a hateful letter stating that she didn't ever

> believe that I had fibro.

[Guest guest]

Unless poeple walk a mile in our shoes they will never understand.

Sending some hugs.

{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I'm sorry I don't know your name but it sounds like she's been reading those

lovely bs stories some newspaper has printed lately. Watching the 2 commercial

by Lyrica make fibro look so tame that it is easy to understand where she is

coming from. The first commercial was so tame with the woman reading from her

journal like she had a hangnail. The new one has a younger woman who says she

can't do activities she enjoys. I whis they would do the woman on the couch

trying to get up to care for her children and try to direct her family how to

help and come up with the word for bread and uses signs and says oops the fibro

again. And then attaches the heating pad after taking it out of the microwave to

be able to sit and read a story to her child. Staring out the window watching

her children play with another adult saying I wish they could come up with a

cure so I can rejoin my life and not need to take meds for pain sleep and a

million other symptoms that are involed with fibromyalgia.

Sorry about the whine but when someone has seen the extreem pain and the other

problems of fibro, I get irritated. I also think a good commercial is needed.

JudyMer

---- moviestarreject2007 moviestarreject2007@...> wrote:

> Hi. I'm pretty new here and I've been reading everyone's posts. I am

> so glad I'm not alone! I really have wondered sometimes if I'm out of

> my mind. I'm glad to see that if I am that there's a lot of other

> people right there with me! LOL! I was diagnosed with fibro in 1997

> right after my son turned 2 and have now not been able to work for

> over 2 1/2 years. I have filed for my disability, but that's like

> pulling teeth! The thing is, I'm only 33. I recently had a situation

> with a long time friend (we had been friends since grade school)that

> made me really realize that unless you have this debilitating pain,

> you really don't understand what we feel like. Upon ending our

> friendship she sent me a hateful letter stating that she didn't ever

> believe that I had fibro. That I was just making it up to get out of

> going places or doing things with her. She said she always knew I was

> lying to her when I would call her the day we were supposed to do

> something and cancel because I was sick. She told me I should be

> ashamed of myself trying to play like I had an illness to get pitty

> from people and get out of working when I was just plain lazy and

> that I was sorry for not getting out and getting another job.

>

> Now, this is a person who has seen all the times I've been to

> different doctors or been in the hospital or been with me on trips to

> get my medications from the pharmacy. Yet she still didn't believe

> me. I know a lot of people don't believe us when we say we just hurt

> and can't pin point it because it's everywhere at once. Nobody

> understand when we say if feels like our bodys have the aches from

> the flu on a daily basis when we don't have other symptoms. Or when

> we try to explain we are trying our best to pull our selves out the

> the depressions we can have. I am so thankful I have found this site

> with people who CAN understand and that know that this is real and

> how it makes it where we can't play with our children like we want or

> do things most normal people can do our ages. I am praying for each

> and every one of you. Thank ya'll so much for being there!

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi...I'm so sorry to hear about your " friend " turning on you like

that. I know how that feels & it's awful. You feel very betrayed.

I've learned the hard way as well that sometimes people who you think

are very close to you will turn on you for the most bizarre &

ridiculous reasons. You have to remember that it's nothing that you

have done, that this person was never a real friend to begin with &

that it is ENTIRELY their loss. It's a hurt that doesn't go away

quickly, but it will go away. I still really don't talk too much

about my health to the few friends I have left. I'll tell them

generalities, but not a lot of specifics. A fibromites social life

can take a pretty bad hit that's for sure. Anyway, chin up! You've

found a good place to come. I haven't been a member for very long

either, but I've found a lot of very caring people here & it's

unimaginably comforting to share with people that know what you're

going through. I'm only 34 & have an almost 2 & a half year old

daughter, so I know what it's like to feel like poo while trying to

raise a child. I'm fighting off guilt constantly! You just do what

you can. So, welcome to the group! I hope you find some comfort &

new friends here.

~Kandi

from the Pittsburgh area

> Hi. I'm pretty new here and I've been reading everyone's posts. I am

> so glad I'm not alone! I really have wondered sometimes if I'm out of

> my mind. I'm glad to see that if I am that there's a lot of other

> people right there with me! LOL! I was diagnosed with fibro in 1997

> right after my son turned 2 and have now not been able to work for

> over 2 1/2 years. I have filed for my disability, but that's like

> pulling teeth! The thing is, I'm only 33. I recently had a situation

> with a long time friend (we had been friends since grade school)that

> made me really realize that unless you have this debilitating pain,

> you really don't understand what we feel like. Upon ending our

> friendship she sent me a hateful letter stating that she didn't ever

> believe that I had fibro. That I was just making it up to get out of

> going places or doing things with her. She said she always knew I was

> lying to her when I would call her the day we were supposed to do

> something and cancel because I was sick. She told me I should be

> ashamed of myself trying to play like I had an illness to get pitty

> from people and get out of working when I was just plain lazy and

> that I was sorry for not getting out and getting another job.

>

> Now, this is a person who has seen all the times I've been to

> different doctors or been in the hospital or been with me on trips to

> get my medications from the pharmacy. Yet she still didn't believe

> me. I know a lot of people don't believe us when we say we just hurt

> and can't pin point it because it's everywhere at once. Nobody

> understand when we say if feels like our bodys have the aches from

> the flu on a daily basis when we don't have other symptoms. Or when

> we try to explain we are trying our best to pull our selves out the

> the depressions we can have. I am so thankful I have found this site

> with people who CAN understand and that know that this is real and

> how it makes it where we can't play with our children like we want or

> do things most normal people can do our ages. I am praying for each

> and every one of you. Thank ya'll so much for being there!

>

[Guest guest]

>

> Hi. I'm pretty new here and I've been reading everyone's posts. I am

> so glad I'm not alone! I really have wondered sometimes if I'm out of

> my mind. I'm glad to see that if I am that there's a lot of other

> people right there with me! LOL! I was diagnosed with fibro in 1997

> right after my son turned 2 and have now not been able to work for

> over 2 1/2 years. I have filed for my disability, but that's like

> pulling teeth! The thing is, I'm only 33. I recently had a situation

> with a long time friend (we had been friends since grade school)that

> made me really realize that unless you have this debilitating pain,

> you really don't understand what we feel like. Upon ending our

> friendship she sent me a hateful letter stating that she didn't ever

> believe that I had fibro. That I was just making it up to get out of

> going places or doing things with her. She said she always knew I was

> lying to her when I would call her the day we were supposed to do

> something and cancel because I was sick. She told me I should be

> ashamed of myself trying to play like I had an illness to get pitty

> from people and get out of working when I was just plain lazy and

> that I was sorry for not getting out and getting another job.

>

> Now, this is a person who has seen all the times I've been to

> different doctors or been in the hospital or been with me on trips to

> get my medications from the pharmacy. Yet she still didn't believe

> me. I know a lot of people don't believe us when we say we just hurt

> and can't pin point it because it's everywhere at once. Nobody

> understand when we say if feels like our bodys have the aches from

> the flu on a daily basis when we don't have other symptoms. Or when

> we try to explain we are trying our best to pull our selves out the

> the depressions we can have. I am so thankful I have found this site

> with people who CAN understand and that know that this is real and

> how it makes it where we can't play with our children like we want or

> do things most normal people can do our ages. I am praying for each

> and every one of you. Thank ya'll so much for being there!

>

I went through the same thing just with my " twin " sister,she told me

the same identical thing, that I used my illness for an excuse to get

out of doing things that i didn't want to do! well needless to say I

don't speak to her very often, now that gets pretty sad that your own

family feels like that about our disease, I just hope and pray that

she never gets this god awful, painful, dreaded disease.because I'm

afraid i would have to tell her to look in the dictionary between

" S*** and syphillious " {sp} for sympathy from me!!!!! LOL Leanne

[Guest guest]

Hi Moviestar,

I'm glad you found us too. This group is the greatest. You feel free to vent or

ask questions any time. I am so sorry about your friend. That must have really

hurt. Well, it's her loss, right?? You take care.

/Mi

Why Do " Friends " Not Believe Us

Hi. I'm pretty new here and I've been reading everyone's posts. I am

so glad I'm not alone! I really have wondered sometimes if I'm out of

my mind. I'm glad to see that if I am that there's a lot of other

people right there with me! LOL! I was diagnosed with fibro in 1997

right after my son turned 2 and have now not been able to work for

over 2 1/2 years. I have filed for my disability, but that's like

pulling teeth! The thing is, I'm only 33. I recently had a situation

with a long time friend (we had been friends since grade school)that

made me really realize that unless you have this debilitating pain,

you really don't understand what we feel like. Upon ending our

friendship she sent me a hateful letter stating that she didn't ever

believe that I had fibro. That I was just making it up to get out of

going places or doing things with her. She said she always knew I was

lying to her when I would call her the day we were supposed to do

something and cancel because I was sick. She told me I should be

ashamed of myself trying to play like I had an illness to get pitty

from people and get out of working when I was just plain lazy and

that I was sorry for not getting out and getting another job.

Now, this is a person who has seen all the times I've been to

different doctors or been in the hospital or been with me on trips to

get my medications from the pharmacy. Yet she still didn't believe

me. I know a lot of people don't believe us when we say we just hurt

and can't pin point it because it's everywhere at once. Nobody

understand when we say if feels like our bodys have the aches from

the flu on a daily basis when we don't have other symptoms. Or when

we try to explain we are trying our best to pull our selves out the

the depressions we can have. I am so thankful I have found this site

with people who CAN understand and that know that this is real and

how it makes it where we can't play with our children like we want or

do things most normal people can do our ages. I am praying for each

and every one of you. Thank ya'll so much for being there!

[Guest guest]

,

I'm sorry for the lack of sympathy and understanding from your family. Did you

know there is actually a book called Fibromyalgia for Dummies??? Yep, one of

those " dummies " books. I got it and it is great...maybe that would do it.

Special sections for families and how to deal with it. Good luck, I hope they

come around soon.

Hugs,

/Mi

Re: Why Do " Friends " Not Believe Us

I know how you are feeling. I had my husband and kids saying those

things to me when my pain started spreading and getting worse. They

would also tell me that I was just getting old and couldn't handle

things anymore. My oldest son even went as far as to tell me it was

in my head and that the pain really didn't exist. My husband even

told people that it wasn't fibro before I was diagnosed with it and

that I needed to quit telling people that's what it was. My husband

even went to the extent to tell me to just go out and get an easy job

that I could handle since the doc's won't let me go back to work and

they won't fill out the disability papers.

I can understand part of his point with the work thing because I have

been off of work for over a year now and we are really hurting

financially. But he doesn't understand I can't go get a job and then

start hurting again, my doctor could very easily say, " I'm not

treating you because you were never released to go back to work. " He

just doesn't understand. I catch him rolling his eyes once in a

while when I talk about it, he just doesn't understand at all.

I got to the point that I got tired of hearing it and went out and

bought a book on fibro but I can't get any of them to even look at

it. None of them like to read but you would think that they would

read this. They don't understand and I have even tried to read it to

them but they won't have anything to do with it.

They are starting to get better but it is coming slowly. I can't

stand and do my dishes anymore but I can't get any of them to do the

dishes either so I end up doing them and I'm in severe pain by the

time I'm done and not a one of them says or does anything to help

out. I live with my husband and 4 sons and I get very little help

from them so I know how you feel.

I will keep you in my prayers.

>

> Hi. I'm pretty new here and I've been reading everyone's posts. I

am

> so glad I'm not alone! I really have wondered sometimes if I'm out

of

> my mind. I'm glad to see that if I am that there's a lot of other

> people right there with me! LOL! I was diagnosed with fibro in 1997

> right after my son turned 2 and have now not been able to work for

> over 2 1/2 years. I have filed for my disability, but that's like

> pulling teeth! The thing is, I'm only 33. I recently had a

situation

> with a long time friend (we had been friends since grade school)

that

> made me really realize that unless you have this debilitating pain,

> you really don't understand what we feel like. Upon ending our

> friendship she sent me a hateful letter stating that she didn't

ever

> believe that I had fibro. That I was just making it up to get out

of

> going places or doing things with her. She said she always knew I

was

> lying to her when I would call her the day we were supposed to do

> something and cancel because I was sick. She told me I should be

> ashamed of myself trying to play like I had an illness to get pitty

> from people and get out of working when I was just plain lazy and

> that I was sorry for not getting out and getting another job.

>

> Now, this is a person who has seen all the times I've been to

> different doctors or been in the hospital or been with me on trips

to

> get my medications from the pharmacy. Yet she still didn't believe

> me. I know a lot of people don't believe us when we say we just

hurt

> and can't pin point it because it's everywhere at once. Nobody

> understand when we say if feels like our bodys have the aches from

> the flu on a daily basis when we don't have other symptoms. Or when

> we try to explain we are trying our best to pull our selves out the

> the depressions we can have. I am so thankful I have found this

site

> with people who CAN understand and that know that this is real and

> how it makes it where we can't play with our children like we want

or

> do things most normal people can do our ages. I am praying for each

> and every one of you. Thank ya'll so much for being there!

>

[Guest guest]

>

Did you know there is actually a book called Fibromyalgia for

Dummies???

My wife bought this same book from a local discount book store,

hopefuly it will simplify and bring some understanding to most of what

I have been attempting to explain to her.

I would recommend this book as a resource to anyone trying to explain

or get the point across concerning the facts on Fibromyalgia.

You may have to go as far as to duct tape a spouse to a chair and read

the entire book, cover to cover to them.

If after the reading they still don't get it, hit them over the head

with the book and ask them if they now understand what pain is.

[Guest guest]

Oh, that made my day! Thank you! :-)

Teri (central Wisconsin)

< Loest...> wrote:

You may have to go as far as to duct tape a spouse to a chair and read

the entire book, cover to cover to them.

If after the reading they still don't get it, hit them over the head

with the book and ask them if they now understand what pain is.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I was trying to read a few posts and came upon yours. I love your description

of how to convince your spouse about what fibromyalgia is. Particularly love

the hitting them over the head bit. I too have that book.

I don't have a spouse, am divorced, but have a child and some friends I would

love to try your methods on.

Thanks for the laugh!

Marti

Loest boltzero@...> wrote:

>

Did you know there is actually a book called Fibromyalgia for

Dummies???

My wife bought this same book from a local discount book store,

hopefuly it will simplify and bring some understanding to most of what

I have been attempting to explain to her.

I would recommend this book as a resource to anyone trying to explain

or get the point across concerning the facts on Fibromyalgia.

You may have to go as far as to duct tape a spouse to a chair and read

the entire book, cover to cover to them.

If after the reading they still don't get it, hit them over the head

with the book and ask them if they now understand what pain is.

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