Re: new member Hubby advice

[Guest guest]

Hi again Phyllis,

A couple of suggestions that came to mind are:

Get yourself into counseling.

Set boundaries

don't allow abuse, whether verbal or physical

I know there are more swimming through my head, but these are at the

top.

I'm one that really takes my vows seriously and don't advocate

divorce. I can say though that I am very happy with my 2nd hubby.

We have had our rocky times, but you know, those rocky times don't

compare to my 1st hubby. I was verbally abused in my 1st marriage

and it tore me down and wore me out.

If you would like to chat privately, please email me.

The grass isn't always greener on the other side, but for me it is

much easier to deal with.

Hugs,

Deb in MN

[Guest guest]

We have been to more counselors than we can count. It hasnt changed a thing.

He has been chronically depressed all his life and he has anger issues as well.

He is very egocentric (everything is about how it affects him or makes him look)

and he has a very difficult time accepting the kids and their behaviors. I can

never leave him alone with them for very long. He has no patience for them. I

am always playing referee. He has been told many times to get into counseling

but he will go once or twice and then stop.

phyllis

Re: new member Hubby advice

Hi again Phyllis,

A couple of suggestions that came to mind are:

Get yourself into counseling.

Set boundaries

don't allow abuse, whether verbal or physical

I know there are more swimming through my head, but these are at the

top.

I'm one that really takes my vows seriously and don't advocate

divorce. I can say though that I am very happy with my 2nd hubby.

We have had our rocky times, but you know, those rocky times don't

compare to my 1st hubby. I was verbally abused in my 1st marriage

and it tore me down and wore me out.

If you would like to chat privately, please email me.

The grass isn't always greener on the other side, but for me it is

much easier to deal with.

Hugs,

Deb in MN

[Guest guest]

Ohyllis,

First of all, welcome to us! A lot of us deal with unsupportive

family members and friends; although it is more challenging when it

comes from a spouse. You've got your hands full too with 2 autistic

children (my DH and I adopted a set of special needs twins,

fraternal).

Anyhow, from my past lives (I was married twice before God picked my

last and final DH for me; I basically married too young the first

time and when life hit us hard like a freight train, we crumbled; the

2nd was an alcoholic) I recall that when hubby #2 and I were in

counseling (we spent 6 of our 8 lovely years together in

counseling!), whenever a hot topic was uncovered or revealed, that's

when he would bail. I always continued to go, with or without him

and was able to process a lot of my past and come to grips with it,

either thru choices that I made or things that happened to me.

It's a shame he is like that. Your kids (and you too) need a lot of

support at home; home needs to be their haven so to speak. I also

don't advocate divorce unless it is absolutely necessary, but quite

honestly, his verbal and emotional abuse will NOT help your fibro, it

will add to the stress which increases the fibro, yada yada yada.

Have you ever given him an ultimatum? Was he like this before kids

came along? Perhaps he cannot deal with less than perfect kids,

although in reality, there is no such animal!

Here's praying you find some peace and comfort here.

(((Hugs)))

Darlene

>

> We have been to more counselors than we can count. It hasnt

changed a thing. He has been chronically depressed all his life and

he has anger issues as well. He is very egocentric (everything is

about how it affects him or makes him look) and he has a very

difficult time accepting the kids and their behaviors. I can never

leave him alone with them for very long. He has no patience for

them. I am always playing referee. He has been told many times to

get into counseling but he will go once or twice and then stop.

>

> phyllis

> Re: new member Hubby advice

>

>

> Hi again Phyllis,

>

> A couple of suggestions that came to mind are:

>

> Get yourself into counseling.

> Set boundaries

> don't allow abuse, whether verbal or physical

> I know there are more swimming through my head, but these are at

the

> top.

>

> I'm one that really takes my vows seriously and don't advocate

> divorce. I can say though that I am very happy with my 2nd hubby.

> We have had our rocky times, but you know, those rocky times

don't

> compare to my 1st hubby. I was verbally abused in my 1st marriage

> and it tore me down and wore me out.

>

> If you would like to chat privately, please email me.

>

> The grass isn't always greener on the other side, but for me it

is

> much easier to deal with.

>

> Hugs,

> Deb in MN

>

>

>

>

>

>