Re: Re: sorry,

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/20/2006 8:28:46 PM Eastern Standard Time,

connect4love@... writes:

Then another part of me thinks that I should know that someone with this bpd

should never be allowed to drive to put themselves in danger and everyone else

on the road. Please, anyone with any thoughts on this, I'd really appreciate

feedback.

,

My daughter happened to be past this bad behavior your daughter is going

through right now when she was training for her license. She did get her temp.

and then on to get her reg. license. We had promised her my jeep if she

managed her behavior, but that easter, she took off for a week and we couldn't

find her. So she lost the jeep and cried forever over that. But, last year

when

she made her break thru from BPD, she finished high school, we got her a used

car and she's doing well. But all the time she was training and driving, she

was ill but doing good with the driving. They can manage when they have to,

I don't personally believe she would be a danger to herself or others on the

road. But I'm not so sure my daughter could have handled it if she was in the

early stages of BPD, as your daughter sounds. I too found horribly morbid

writings in her room, morbid drawings too while she was cutting. They were

horrific. She was 13-14 then, and not ready to drive, so I lucked out there (?)

that it didn't hit her at the time she was learning to drive.

I'm not so sure your daughter is okay with getting her license. This should

be one of the things she has to earn, it's a priviledge to drive and get a car

and if she continues on with her bad behavior, well then, she can't have

these privys.

I too, thought my daughter would freak at the contract, but she didn't. She

listened intently to me. But again, my daughter was beyond the bad, bad

stuff. She had stopped cutting, stopped her bad writings and morbid thoughts.

She

had already been through her 7 facilities and lots of therapy. I think you

have to stop doting on trying to find someone who specializes in BPD and find

anyone at this point that will take her in. She needs to sit and talk to

someone aside from you. You can let the therapist know in advance of your

findings

and intuitions, and let them go from there. She has got to see someone, and

now.

If they can't help her then they must refer you to someone who can. Hang in

there, I know it sounds unbelievable, but it will get better. Ignore the

papers, the words, throw them away, act as if you never saw them. You will

only

feed into her if you bring it up, then she will know she has pushed your

buttons. If she asks if you read the paper? Say , what papers?

Let her wonder, don't let her know they upset you.

Hugs,

DebbieL