Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 > Juvenile on my part, but > she nips at me like a pirranha nips at food. This is the one aspect of the bpd behavior that I have given up on having my daughter understand. She has so many terrible memories of me blowing up at her, and she has no notion whatsoever of what exactly could have brought it on. (My daughters love to discuss how " juvenile " I am when they make me angry. I wanted to give you a big hug when I read that, Toni!) When she was in high school, I somehow decided that she unconsciously trying to manipulate me into yelling at her so that she could be mad at me instead of herself. That's when I finally stopped letting her get to me all the time--but I wasn't able to do it every time. She still has lots of bad memories of more recent years, I'm sure. When she first brought up these incidents with the dr, I really got angry, but lately I've gotten used to the doctor, and when she blames me for something awful I can say, " Well, that's not the way I remember it, " or " as far as I remember, I did such and such. " So far there haven't been too many accusations, but I'm more prepared for them when they come. I know we will have to deal with them to get to the next step.... aaarrrrggghhh! But I also know the dr isn't going to blame me for it all. Hang in there! Deborah __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 23, 2006 Report Share Posted May 23, 2006 With my daughter when she was younger, I think her goal in life was to push my buttons -- her father, too. So, I could only take so much. The first, second, thirda and sometimes 4th times she pushed, I was ok, then if I'd blow up -- that's what they're waiting for and that's their payoff. So, I changed my behavior -- it took some work. Then, my reactions became less frequent -- but even if it was once over an 8- month period, she won the battle!!! Finally, she gave up!!! She realized I wasn't going to flinch..... not a pattern that changes overnight Carol -------------- Original message -------------- > > Juvenile on my part, but > > she nips at me like a pirranha nips at food. > > This is the one aspect of the bpd behavior that I have > given up on having my daughter understand. She has so > many terrible memories of me blowing up at her, and > she has no notion whatsoever of what exactly could > have brought it on. (My daughters love to discuss how > " juvenile " I am when they make me angry. I wanted to > give you a big hug when I read that, Toni!) > > When she was in high school, I somehow decided that > she unconsciously trying to manipulate me into yelling > at her so that she could be mad at me instead of > herself. That's when I finally stopped letting her > get to me all the time--but I wasn't able to do it > every time. She still has lots of bad memories of > more recent years, I'm sure. > > When she first brought up these incidents with the dr, > I really got angry, but lately I've gotten used to the > doctor, and when she blames me for something awful I > can say, " Well, that's not the way I remember it, " or > " as far as I remember, I did such and such. " So far > there haven't been too many accusations, but I'm more > prepared for them when they come. I know we will have > to deal with them to get to the next step.... > aaarrrrggghhh! But I also know the dr isn't going to > blame me for it all. > > Hang in there! > Deborah > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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