Share the Joy! - thoughts for families of sick or aging family members

Posted April 11, 2008 · April 11, 2008

Just wanted to clue the list in on a special family I know. Large

family, lots of children in all generations.

A certain aunt was getting up in years, never married, but never

forgotten. When she could no longer live alone, one of the 30-ish

year old members, with a large family of her own, took auntie in to

live with her family. As they all adjusted, worried, and loved their

way through it, auntie began to share all the wonderful things she

enjoyed in this houseful of children, with relatives outside the

immediate household. She got to prepare meals as she felt able, or

not when she was not feeling able, in a kitchen stocked by another.

She could wash her own clothes and even help with the large laundry

task for all the children, as she felt able, or give the entire wash

up to the 'host' family, including her own personal laundry. Never

had to go to the store, walking those interminable long aisles, for

soap and groceries. Funny thing was, she would share with other

family outside this immediate family how much she loved the time with

little Jake, and little Jackie's latest achievement, etc. On very

good days, she minded the children for mom and dad to go to an

evening movie, after the youngest were bedded down. As this new

arrangement blossomed and began to benefit all, with the children

having someone else to love them as much as their mom and dad, my

friend's brothers and sisters began wanting the same for their

children. The end result was that auntie now spends several months at

a time as a live-in family member, getting to know all these families

and sharing their joy, as she is rotated in and out of households.

She considers herself on extended vacation, while her host relatives

consider the little contributions she is able to make to be a God-

send to heavily-burdened working parents, whether working in the home

or outside. Nobody expects babysitting, yet even simply story-time

while mom makes supper is viewed as a luxury for these families.

Didn't start out this way, as only one family stepped up to the

plate. Now everybody fights over who gets auntie next!

Girlsaylor

Posted April 11, 2008 · April 11, 2008

>

> Just wanted to clue the list in on a special family I know. Large

> family, lots of children in all generations.

>

> A certain aunt was getting up in years, never married, but never

> forgotten. When she could no longer live alone, one of the 30-ish

> year old members, with a large family of her own, took auntie in to

> live with her family. As they all adjusted, worried, and loved

their

> way through it, auntie began to share all the wonderful things she

> enjoyed in this houseful of children, with relatives outside the

> immediate household. She got to prepare meals as she felt able, or

> not when she was not feeling able, in a kitchen stocked by another.

> She could wash her own clothes and even help with the large laundry

> task for all the children, as she felt able, or give the entire

wash

> up to the 'host' family, including her own personal laundry. Never

> had to go to the store, walking those interminable long aisles, for

> soap and groceries. Funny thing was, she would share with other

> family outside this immediate family how much she loved the time

with

> little Jake, and little Jackie's latest achievement, etc. On very

> good days, she minded the children for mom and dad to go to an

> evening movie, after the youngest were bedded down. As this new

> arrangement blossomed and began to benefit all, with the children

> having someone else to love them as much as their mom and dad, my

> friend's brothers and sisters began wanting the same for their

> children. The end result was that auntie now spends several months

at

> a time as a live-in family member, getting to know all these

families

> and sharing their joy, as she is rotated in and out of households.

> She considers herself on extended vacation, while her host

relatives

> consider the little contributions she is able to make to be a God-

> send to heavily-burdened working parents, whether working in the

home

> or outside. Nobody expects babysitting, yet even simply story-time

> while mom makes supper is viewed as a luxury for these families.

> Didn't start out this way, as only one family stepped up to the

> plate. Now everybody fights over who gets auntie next!

>

> Girlsaylor

>

That is such a wonderful story!! I think that some of what I share ---

however often I speak to my great nieces -- is some family history,

their parents have this huge genealogy family tree. But in addition

to that, since I belong to ancestry.com, I get so many people

asking " what branch of this family are you a member of??? " As a

result of that, while we were in California in 2004, it was amazing

that the day after we arrived in Sacramento, the descendents, who may

or may not be of my generation, were arriving that day at the airport

and so we had lunch at Applebys and one of the older gentleman just

insisted that he be allowed to sit next to me. I know why now, he

has a hearing problem. But I am just glad we met them because the

woman I had first connected with lost her father this past summer and

sometime around Thanksgiving, her husband died. But I also know that

we are going to probably go over the limit on minutes this month,

because after an email from someone on my mother's side of the

family, I looked her parents phone number up and she just happened to

be there. And despite the fact she did not grow up in so. Illinois

she spent her summers there so the memories were great!

My great nieces like the story that one of our great, g--

grandmother's did from time to time, have a very well known man stay

at her home while he was riding the circuit prior to his marriage and

then his election as the President of the US, Abraham Lincoln.

And I also think some of my noseyness while I was a child really was

interesting --- everytime we went to visit my father's family in

MIssouri, one could often find either he and his brother or his

cousin sitting under a tree sharing memories. And so glad that I

knew Granddad's one sister --- she was married to my grandmother's

nephew and because it was a small rural community, she knew most

everyone's habits. And she saw my sisters get in the car when we

were told to and we grabbed the books we had with us. She said that

was Kate's favorite thing to do. In the summer time, they knew they

could find kate hiding under a rosebush with a book! And had I not

listened in on some of those conversations I would not know so much

about my father's family.

But maybe I should do that when I can no longer do all the things one

needs to do each day!!

Maru

Posted April 11, 2008 · April 11, 2008

I know a lady whose family did that as well, before she just couldn't travel

anymore due to age and infimities. They used to fight over her!! She would go

from one kid to the next!! So neat.

Share the Joy! - thoughts for families of sick or aging family

members