Just tired and depressed...

May 12, 2008

I am just letting everything get to me so much lately. I guess it is going to

be my time of the month or something. I am just down. So down about this

disease and the disbelief of so many. (however, I have mostly people in my life

that do believe me... I am thankful for that). But I am even more upset about

the overall view of fibro and the lack of support that many of you have. And

the lack of belief from you doctors, families, and " friends " .

I am also very angry with the co-worker who thinks I am full of crap. She does

not have to say it, I know it. And on top of that, I strongly suspicion she

made a comment to one of our residents that I am " always complaining of a

headache or a backache or something " . I am very ticked about that. It just

goes to show that she thinks I am full of it.

(by the way, this patient she told these things is very difficult and is in his

forties. He has lied about staff members, tries to manipulate us, tries to

instruct us on what to do with other residents and how to do OUR job and demands

things on purpose that he knows will make life harder on the staff. He is being

evicted from the home because he has caused so much trouble and refuses

treatment most of the time. Also he has not paid anything and the home has been

footing the bill because he has MONEY somewhere and is not eligible for any

federal funding). Now why would she talk about ME to him? What a " friend " .

I am just stressed. I love my job except for all the stressors of staff not

getting along and people who create chaos all the time.

I need to pull out of it. I am also so tired of never hardly seeing my

children. (of course, that will get better for a while when they are out for

summer vacation). I have to work 2pm to 10pm because I don't even think my body

would be able to handle getting up at 4:30 a.m. to go to work. Hell, it takes

me at least an hour and a half somedays before I can function after I wake up.

Well, what a downer letter I wrote. Had to vent.

love,

Debra V.

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