Guest guest Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 Ah yes, I have a hard time forgiving folks who hurt kids. I was able to forgive and be compassionate toward my twins' bio dad because quite honestly, he is an alcoholic and likely has some LD or MR; he's not a full box of crayons. The bio mom on the other hand, omg, I forgive her (even though we don't know where she is) and then something from their first 5 yrs of hell pops out and I have to start again. Forgiveness is a gift. We don't give it to someone else because they ask for it, that's for sure; we give it (even if we do it in a letter they never see) because we have to move beyond that point. As I said, some folks are toxic. Your sisters sound that way. Putting their own kids through that is enough to make me want to buy a gun and hunt them down, so I can understand the rage and anger. But that doesn't help the kids at all. I hope that Social Services has stepped in for those situations; it's the only possible chance those kiddos have at some normalcy, because even a foster home would offer more than that, don't you think? Forgiveness is also a process. I believe there are layers, depending on the depth of hurt involved. I'm sure you are doing what you can to help your sisters' kids, even if your sisters are beyond help, because they have addictions that have them enslaved. They couldn't care less about the children they birthed, it's all about them. That is selfish and for those of us who love and care for our kids, we cannot comprehend that at all. But my brother finally reached the bottom of his barrel and had to do what he could to regain himself. He has been a recovering addict/alcoholic for more than 8 yrs now. I think he's harder on himself than anyone else is, but if that's what he has to do to stay clean and sober and raise his two daughters, then so be it. I still love him, have forgiven him years ago for the hell he put my parents and us girls through. But he had to get to that point and , your sisters are not there and may never be there at all. Thankfully, you have us! Darlene Darlene > > With forgiveness comes change, when a unfaithful spouse or partner > asks forgiveness you -can- forgive them. > > And can insist that they -stop- running around behind your back if > that forgiveness is to take root and grow. > > My family has -never- asked for nor will take responsibility for their > past and present actions. > > My older sister had two boys taken into state custody because of > unspeakable abuse: > > Making a 4 year old drink an entire pitcher of beer. > > Having wild sex orgies in front of them to the point where it warped > my nephews mind and while in daycare he climbed a tree took off all > his clothes and told everyone to suck his D**k. > > What really cinched it was when my nephew went to the school nurse, > and was found to have bruises and welts from a fresh beating. > > I've already told my wife that should my daughter receive any level of > abuse, I -will- go to jail for what would happen afterwards. > > The list of what needs to be forgiven is long and gets grotesque, they > haven't asked for it and I use the anger and pain to fuel my resolve > to put a stop to it. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 People who deliberately hurt children shouldn't be forgiven, they don't deserve it. Just my feelings on the subject N. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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