Re: How can family members be so inconsiderate??

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry you are going through this with the family. I think a meeting

with them all is in order. You need to sit them down and tell them what you

need help with. Do not expect them to just know. Also explain to them that

they need to understand that you are sick. to give support. Lay it all out

there. If you still get no support, then you need to maybe leave awhile and

get them to realize you mean business. My 2 cents.

Big hugs to you my friend. Here for you.

> I just want to know how this can happen? They see us go through the

> pain on a daily basis, they hear us talk about the pain, talk about

> things we can and cannot do but why don't they listen.

>

> For those can still drive but have a hard time with it I know how you

> feel. My husband and I have a Saturn, very small car and sits low to

> the floor and we have a Bronco that is a stick shift. The Bronco is

> easier for me sit in because it is up higher and my legs have more

> room but it is a stick shift, it is hard for me to push the clutch in

> because of my leg and foot. The Saturn is really hard for me to get

> in and out of and by the time I am done driving it I am in a lot of

> pain.

>

> So, his cousin is getting rid of her car because she wrecked it, not

> bad enough to not be able to drive it but she got a new car. My

> husband was talking about buying it from her and I told him I thought

> it would be a good idea so then I could have a car to drive that was

> more comfortable for me and he agreed. Well once I agreed to it he

> changed his mind on who was going to be driving it. Knowing how much

> pain I am in after driving our other vehicles he changed his mind

> that he is going to be driving it not me. I don't know if I'm more

> mad about this or hurt by it. I can't drive the other two vehicles

> without being in serious pain and now that we have a car that I can

> drive I can't.

>

> This isn't the only thing that I deal with on a daily basis. I live

> with my husband and 4 sons, my boys ages are 20, 16, 9, and 11 and I

> get absolutely no help from them at all. I can't stand and do the

> dishes because it causes the pain in my back to get worse but when it

> comes down to it I HAVE to do them otherwise they don't get done. I

> had dishes sit in my kitchen from Friday until Wednesday because

> nobody would do them so I had to do them. I have even gotten to the

> point that I stopped cooking because of this but that didn't change

> nothing at all. I don't get help around the house period by any of

> them. I can't carry the hamper of laundry towels because it is to

> heavy but I can't get anybody else to do it for me so I have to do

> it. We will down to no towels left for people to shower with and

> they have to be using dirty ones because they always manage to take a

> shower when there are no towels left.

>

> I just don't know what to do anymore, I don't know how to get them to

> understand what I am going through. I bought a book about Fibro and

> told them that I had it so they could read it and learn more about it

> but you know what they told me? " I don't like to read so you just

> wasted money. " I try to explain things to them and they tune me

> completely out. I am at a complete loss. I guess I just quit

> talking about it and deal with it without any support or help from

> any of them. The one group of people that you would think would help

> are the ones that I can't depend on for anything. The one thing that

> I expect them to do every night and week is to take the garbage out

> of the house and then take it to the street once a week. I can't

> even get them to do that. My garbage hasn't been taken to the road

> in 3 weeks now. I have to take the recycling to the street because

> they won't do it. I just don't know what to do anymore.

>

> Sorry, just needed to rant. I just can't stop crying right now

> because this just hurts so much.

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

> 1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on the

> list as to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always check with

> your dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given along with other meds as

> well as to certain health conditions or just dangerous in general.

>

> 2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is) pls

> don't be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying to make

> that situation better.

>

> 3. To unsubscribe the e-mail is:

> Fibromyalgia_Support_Group-unsubscribe

>

> 4. Also, it is not uncommon for more than one member to be feeling bad at

> the same time when it comes to flares and b/c of that potentially take

> something another member says the wrong way. And that includes the things

> that one member may find funny (even if it's laughing at fibro itself) even

> though we who deal with illness whether one such as fibro or multiple

> illnesses try to keep a sense of humor.

>

> 5. Pls let's be gentle with each other, and if you are having a bad day

> pls let us know so that we can do our best to offer our support.

>

> Have a nice day everyone.

>

[Guest guest]

julie, I had some answers ready to post but I hit the wrong key and

they vanished. If I should be able to get the taxes done soon, I

will be back with some weird ideas.

>

> > I just want to know how this can happen? They see us go through

the

> > pain on a daily basis, they hear us talk about the pain, talk

about

> > things we can and cannot do but why don't they listen.

> >

> > For those can still drive but have a hard time with it I know how

you

> > feel. My husband and I have a Saturn, very small car and sits

low to

> > the floor and we have a Bronco that is a stick shift. The Bronco

is

> > easier for me sit in because it is up higher and my legs have more

> > room but it is a stick shift, it is hard for me to push the

clutch in

> > because of my leg and foot. The Saturn is really hard for me to

get

> > in and out of and by the time I am done driving it I am in a lot

of

> > pain.

> >

> > So, his cousin is getting rid of her car because she wrecked it,

not

> > bad enough to not be able to drive it but she got a new car. My

> > husband was talking about buying it from her and I told him I

thought

> > it would be a good idea so then I could have a car to drive that

was

> > more comfortable for me and he agreed. Well once I agreed to it

he

> > changed his mind on who was going to be driving it. Knowing how

much

> > pain I am in after driving our other vehicles he changed his mind

> > that he is going to be driving it not me. I don't know if I'm

more

> > mad about this or hurt by it. I can't drive the other two

vehicles

> > without being in serious pain and now that we have a car that I

can

> > drive I can't.

> >

> > This isn't the only thing that I deal with on a daily basis. I

live

> > with my husband and 4 sons, my boys ages are 20, 16, 9, and 11

and I

> > get absolutely no help from them at all. I can't stand and do the

> > dishes because it causes the pain in my back to get worse but

when it

> > comes down to it I HAVE to do them otherwise they don't get

done. I

> > had dishes sit in my kitchen from Friday until Wednesday because

> > nobody would do them so I had to do them. I have even gotten to

the

> > point that I stopped cooking because of this but that didn't

change

> > nothing at all. I don't get help around the house period by any

of

> > them. I can't carry the hamper of laundry towels because it is to

> > heavy but I can't get anybody else to do it for me so I have to do

> > it. We will down to no towels left for people to shower with and

> > they have to be using dirty ones because they always manage to

take a

> > shower when there are no towels left.

> >

> > I just don't know what to do anymore, I don't know how to get

them to

> > understand what I am going through. I bought a book about Fibro

and

> > told them that I had it so they could read it and learn more

about it

> > but you know what they told me? " I don't like to read so you just

> > wasted money. " I try to explain things to them and they tune me

> > completely out. I am at a complete loss. I guess I just quit

> > talking about it and deal with it without any support or help from

> > any of them. The one group of people that you would think would

help

> > are the ones that I can't depend on for anything. The one thing

that

> > I expect them to do every night and week is to take the garbage

out

> > of the house and then take it to the street once a week. I can't

> > even get them to do that. My garbage hasn't been taken to the

road

> > in 3 weeks now. I have to take the recycling to the street

because

> > they won't do it. I just don't know what to do anymore.

> >

> > Sorry, just needed to rant. I just can't stop crying right now

> > because this just hurts so much.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ------------------------------------

> >

> > 1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone

on the

> > list as to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always

check with

> > your dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given along with

other meds as

> > well as to certain health conditions or just dangerous in general.

> >

> > 2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it

is) pls

> > don't be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying

to make

> > that situation better.

> >

> > 3. To unsubscribe the e-mail is:

> > Fibromyalgia_Support_Group-unsubscribe

> >

> > 4. Also, it is not uncommon for more than one member to be

feeling bad at

> > the same time when it comes to flares and b/c of that potentially

take

> > something another member says the wrong way. And that includes

the things

> > that one member may find funny (even if it's laughing at fibro

itself) even

> > though we who deal with illness whether one such as fibro or

multiple

> > illnesses try to keep a sense of humor.

> >

> > 5. Pls let's be gentle with each other, and if you are having a

bad day

> > pls let us know so that we can do our best to offer our support.

> >

> > Have a nice day everyone.

> >

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I call that the devil key. I don't know exactly where it is, but it is

somewhere near the bottom left of my keyboard It may be the Windows key but I'm

not sure. It is so maddening when that happens. When I am typing a lengthy

reply I save to draft after a while so I won't lose all of it.

Can't wait for your weird ideas.

Marti

villaridge@...> wrote:

julie, I had some answers ready to post but I hit the wrong key and

they vanished. If I should be able to get the taxes done soon, I

will be back with some weird ideas.

>

> > I just want to know how this can happen? They see us go through

the

> > pain on a daily basis, they hear us talk about the pain, talk

about

> > things we can and cannot do but why don't they listen.

> >

> > For those can still drive but have a hard time with it I know how

you

> > feel. My husband and I have a Saturn, very small car and sits

low to

> > the floor and we have a Bronco that is a stick shift. The Bronco

is

> > easier for me sit in because it is up higher and my legs have more

> > room but it is a stick shift, it is hard for me to push the

clutch in

> > because of my leg and foot. The Saturn is really hard for me to

get

> > in and out of and by the time I am done driving it I am in a lot

of

> > pain.

> >

> > So, his cousin is getting rid of her car because she wrecked it,

not

> > bad enough to not be able to drive it but she got a new car. My

> > husband was talking about buying it from her and I told him I

thought

> > it would be a good idea so then I could have a car to drive that

was

> > more comfortable for me and he agreed. Well once I agreed to it

he

> > changed his mind on who was going to be driving it. Knowing how

much

> > pain I am in after driving our other vehicles he changed his mind

> > that he is going to be driving it not me. I don't know if I'm

more

> > mad about this or hurt by it. I can't drive the other two

vehicles

> > without being in serious pain and now that we have a car that I

can

> > drive I can't.

> >

> > This isn't the only thing that I deal with on a daily basis. I

live

> > with my husband and 4 sons, my boys ages are 20, 16, 9, and 11

and I

> > get absolutely no help from them at all. I can't stand and do the

> > dishes because it causes the pain in my back to get worse but

when it

> > comes down to it I HAVE to do them otherwise they don't get

done. I

> > had dishes sit in my kitchen from Friday until Wednesday because

> > nobody would do them so I had to do them. I have even gotten to

the

> > point that I stopped cooking because of this but that didn't

change

> > nothing at all. I don't get help around the house period by any

of

> > them. I can't carry the hamper of laundry towels because it is to

> > heavy but I can't get anybody else to do it for me so I have to do

> > it. We will down to no towels left for people to shower with and

> > they have to be using dirty ones because they always manage to

take a

> > shower when there are no towels left.

> >

> > I just don't know what to do anymore, I don't know how to get

them to

> > understand what I am going through. I bought a book about Fibro

and

> > told them that I had it so they could read it and learn more

about it

> > but you know what they told me? " I don't like to read so you just

> > wasted money. " I try to explain things to them and they tune me

> > completely out. I am at a complete loss. I guess I just quit

> > talking about it and deal with it without any support or help from

> > any of them. The one group of people that you would think would

help

> > are the ones that I can't depend on for anything. The one thing

that

> > I expect them to do every night and week is to take the garbage

out

> > of the house and then take it to the street once a week. I can't

> > even get them to do that. My garbage hasn't been taken to the

road

> > in 3 weeks now. I have to take the recycling to the street

because

> > they won't do it. I just don't know what to do anymore.

> >

> > Sorry, just needed to rant. I just can't stop crying right now

> > because this just hurts so much.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ------------------------------------

> >

> > 1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone

on the

> > list as to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always

check with

> > your dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given along with

other meds as

> > well as to certain health conditions or just dangerous in general.

> >

> > 2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it

is) pls

> > don't be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying

to make

> > that situation better.

> >

> > 3. To unsubscribe the e-mail is:

> > Fibromyalgia_Support_Group-unsubscribe

> >

> > 4. Also, it is not uncommon for more than one member to be

feeling bad at

> > the same time when it comes to flares and b/c of that potentially

take

> > something another member says the wrong way. And that includes

the things

> > that one member may find funny (even if it's laughing at fibro

itself) even

> > though we who deal with illness whether one such as fibro or

multiple

> > illnesses try to keep a sense of humor.

> >

> > 5. Pls let's be gentle with each other, and if you are having a

bad day

> > pls let us know so that we can do our best to offer our support.

> >

> > Have a nice day everyone.

> >