Sleep apnea?/ GERD/Asthma/ child abuse/facing death

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your concern everyone, regarding the possibility thaat I have sleep

apnea. It is

also possible that I am having nocturnal asthma eisodes as I do have severe

asthma. I

understand that even 'a little' sleep apnea can cause stroke, heart attack,

sudden death or

a condition including being 'brain dead'. I have an advance directive (living

will) that states

no 'heroic measures' are to be used to keep me alive; no intubation,ventilator,

or major

surgery. I have had these papers drawn up by a reputale law firm along with a

durable

power of attorney and a last will and testiment.

I cannt tolerate anything restrictive on me while I sleep. Not the orthopedic

braces for my

wrists; not the splint when my knee was injured; not the restraints I woke up in

during one

hospitalization. They all send me into terrifying flasbacks of childhod abuse.

I will often

joke about the endless uses for duct tape. I can only do that when my childhod

memories

are 'shut down'. There are some terrible uses for duct tape.

Not 15 years of therapy and medications and the " best inpatient & Outpatient

Trauma

Treatment " - none of these has made the trauma " better'. So yes, I would rather

risk death

than have a mask or even just the nasal canula, on me every night. I have the

legal papers

to prevent me ending up in a permenant vegatative state- my state allows the use

of lethal

quantities of morphine to be administered to relieve suffering when a person is

dying,

'brain dead' or in a 'permenant vegatative state' and I have two people legaly

designated to

push the morphine button, although any hospice nurse in this state can do that.

Cassandra