Re: I AM REALLY UPSET/JILL

[Guest guest]

Jill,

I understand completely what you are going through. Not with my current marriage

but my first one. I married him right our of high school and had a baby within 1

year. That is when it all started to happen! It started with verbal abuse. I

could never do anything right no matter how hard I tried. His mother lived close

by so if I had company she would call him at work right then and tell him who

was there. She was such a B****! It just kept getting worse and I was a stay at

home mom. I loved staying with my child and wouldn't trade those days for

anything in this world. Then I had my daughter and things got worse. Dinner HAD

to be on the table at a certain time. The house had to be clean all the time

with nothing left out. And all of the discipline with the children came from me.

Then it went to physical abuse. His mother even walked in on us when he had me

pinned between the washer and dryer with my arm pulled back and reaching up to

my neck. I was

finishing dinner one evening and he got up, went to the gun cabinet and came

back to the table. I really wasn't paying any attention to him and I looked up

at him and he had a gun to my tempal and pulled the trigger. You just can't

imagine what was going through my mind at the time. I thought I was dead and who

was going to raise my kids....NOT HIM!!!! It was at that very moment that I knew

I had to get out but at the time I didn't work so I had no way of supporting

myself much less my kids. I found me a job and started giving my Mom extra money

to hold for me. After about 4 more years of his SH** I found a mobile home to

rent that was on the other side of the county and went to the house. He met me

at the door and the kids were in the living room. They saw him hit me so hard

that I feel to the floor. But you know what? I didn't cry this time like I have

in the past. That gives them control! I got up, got in his face and told him

that's the last time

you will ever touch me and live to tell about it. You don't believe me?? Just

try it!!! He went outside and I calmed the kids down and told them that we would

be leaving the next day. The next morning my mom and dad were at my door with a

truck. I loaded up my clothes, a chester drawers and the kids clothes. I took 3

plates, 3 forks, 3 spoons and a pot and skillet. I didn't want anything else!!

That was it. I knew me and the kids could survive on these things and each week

when I got paid I would buy one thing for us or the house. We survived and it

was the best time of my life. I could finally have my friends over and not worry

about HIM...he would sit across the road and watch my house and he would follow

me, but he never tried to hurt me again. He just wanted me to feel scared...but

I wasn't! My 14 years of marriage to him was over and done and I was moving on.

He was shocked when he was served with the divorce papers and called and said he

thought

we could work it out. NOPE!!!! I paid my rent, bought groceries and paid

utilites all on 350 a week!!! I slowly saved enough money and bought a brand new

washer and dryer!!! It was hard, but it can be done. It was 3 years later that I

met my current husband and my life is forever changed. I had been going to a

small club here in Gladewater with a dear friend of mine. We would go and dance

and laugh and talk about anything and everything. Then one night (feb 14th) we

were sitting at our table and I looked up and this handsome man was paying at

the door to get in. We always had a live band on the weekends which was just

great. He saw the sign live band and pulled in!!! So glad he did. We would

always take turns on who would be the driver for the night and this night it was

her turn. I saw him and slapped her on the arm and almost knocked her out of her

chair and I said, " look what just walked in that door " I just couldn't believe

it. I had never seen him

before but WOW!! I watched him as he sat at a table and ordered a beer. My

friend and I continued to dance and I would catch him watching me. I saw that he

was finishing his beer and I called the waitress over and paid for him another

beer. When he was almost finished with that one, I walked over and asked him if

he would like to come sit at our table. He said I would love to. We talked all

night and danced and just had a good clean wholesome time. We closed down the

bar that night and as we were leaving I knew I would probably never see him

again. He asked me for my phone number and then asked if I would be interested

in coming over the next day for dinner. I couldn't refuse the invitation. He had

gone and bought me a teddy bear with flowers and candy and fixed an awesome

dinner. We then laid in the floor and watched Pure Country. The rest is

history!! We met Feb 14, 1999 and we were married July 3, 1999. We don't fight

or argue and he treats me like a

princess. He has been so supportive of me in whatever I wanted to do. Before I

was stricken with my illness I was working on my teaching degree for grades 4-8.

I would study till all hours of the night. Still to this day, he cooks dinner

and does laundry and just provides for me in whatever I need. After being

married to my first husband I was very scared to enter a relationship again. I

didn't think it had been long enough. The following week he came over for my

daughters 10th birthday party. I had 8 girls at the house and he stayed and

played outside with them, running around the house and just having a ball. I

just love him to death. I can't imagine my life without him. I know he was sent

to me by God and for that I am blessed. Plus I have wonderful mother and

father-in-laws which I call Mom and Dad. My Mom died 2 months after we

married...and they have helped to fill that void in my life. I guess the moral

to this story is if you want to leave bad

enough you can always find a way. Pray about it and God will answer your

prayers. With my first husband I had gotten to the point that when I knew he was

clocking out from work, and I know this is wrong, but I would pray that he

wouldn't make it home. Jeff & I have been married now for 9 years and when I

think of my past, I see him there. He has been a Father to my children and they

love him to death. My son calls him Jeff but my daughter calls him Papa Smurf.

(his work uniform is solid blue) When Jeff leaves for work in the mornings I now

pray that God will keep him safe and when he's coming home I do the same thing.

He works at a gas refinery as an electrician so his job is very dangerous. I

don't know what I would do if I ever lost him. Jill, you have to plan for your

future! Start putting a little back, where there's a will there's a way. I know

it's hard to do, but it can be done. There are still nice men in this cold world

and I am blessed with

one. I know this is long but I hope this helps you!

With loving thoughts and prayers going your way!

Debra B

Gladewater, Texass

Re: I AM REALLY UPSET/Debi

I am so sorry that happened to you hun. I can understand though. I am gonna

divorce as soon as I am able to stand on my own 2 feet. I do not plan to be

miserable my whole life with this man.

Hugs,

> Over 10 years ago I married a seemingly loving and understanding man. He

> knew that I had fibro and he went so far to educate himself on the

> disease, but

> when I worsened and couldn't perform sexually anymore, he began to cheat

> on

> me. A year and a half after marrying, he left me for another woman, but

> neither of us filed for divorce. Well, he married a younger woman, left

> her and

> them married a woman a little bit older than him and she was able to

> satisfy

> his sex drive. Last year it all caught up on him and he was ordered to

> divorce me and his other wives and do time in jail. He had fooled me

> completely.

> He made me believe that he loved me for me, so I was devastated when he

> left

> me, just because sex became a lot like aerobic exercise and wasn't

> enjoyable. I will never marry again, because he was my third and last.

>

> I feel for you, because too many people expect too much from us and they

> don't understand what we are dealing with.

>

>

> Love and gentle hugs,

> Debi/Central Cal.-55

>

>

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~

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> protect your friends from email address harvesters which can lead to more

> Spam, unwanted mail, and even viruses.

> Copy and paste forwards into a new email and place parenthesis around the

> addresses.

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~

>

>

>

>

>

> ************ **Create a Home Theater Like the Pros. Watch the video on AOL

> Home.

> (

> http://home. aol.com/diy/ home-improvement -eric-stromer? video=15&

ncid=aolhom00030 000000001

> )

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> > Over 10 years ago I married a seemingly loving and understanding

man. He

> > knew that I had fibro and he went so far to educate himself on the

> > disease, but

> > when I worsened and couldn't perform sexually anymore, he began

to cheat

> > on

> > me. A year and a half after marrying, he left me for another

woman, but

> > neither of us filed for divorce. Well, he married a younger

woman, left

> > her and

> > them married a woman a little bit older than him and she was able

to

> > satisfy

> > his sex drive. Last year it all caught up on him and he was

ordered to

> > divorce me and his other wives and do time in jail. He had fooled

me

> > completely.

> > He made me believe that he loved me for me, so I was devastated

when he

> > left

> > me, just because sex became a lot like aerobic exercise and wasn't

> > enjoyable. I will never marry again, because he was my third and

last.

> >

> > I feel for you, because too many people expect too much from us

and they

> > don't understand what we are dealing with.

> >

> >

> > Love and gentle hugs,

> > Debi/Central Cal.-55

> >

> >

> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~

> > Be a good e-mail buddy, and ALWAYS

> > protect your friends from email address harvesters which can lead

to more

> > Spam, unwanted mail, and even viruses.

> > Copy and paste forwards into a new email and place parenthesis

around the

> > addresses.

> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ************ **Create a Home Theater Like the Pros. Watch the

video on AOL

> > Home.

> > (

> > http://home. aol.com/diy/ home-improvement -eric-stromer?

video=15& ncid=aolhom00030 000000001

> > )

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

you are so right! There are so many shelters out there now for battered

women and their children. I started putting money back and having that account

sent to my friends house. He never knew I was putting money back. I also had

parents at the time that helped me get back on my feet. Some people don't have

that kind of support, but in every community there is help for women in bad

situations. I am so blessed that I got out when I did. And so thankful and

blessed that I have such a wonderful husband now.

Debra B

Re: I AM REALLY UPSET/JILL

>

> > Over 10 years ago I married a seemingly loving and understanding

man. He

> > knew that I had fibro and he went so far to educate himself on the

> > disease, but

> > when I worsened and couldn't perform sexually anymore, he began

to cheat

> > on

> > me. A year and a half after marrying, he left me for another

woman, but

> > neither of us filed for divorce. Well, he married a younger

woman, left

> > her and

> > them married a woman a little bit older than him and she was able

to

> > satisfy

> > his sex drive. Last year it all caught up on him and he was

ordered to

> > divorce me and his other wives and do time in jail. He had fooled

me

> > completely.

> > He made me believe that he loved me for me, so I was devastated

when he

> > left

> > me, just because sex became a lot like aerobic exercise and wasn't

> > enjoyable. I will never marry again, because he was my third and

last.

> >

> > I feel for you, because too many people expect too much from us

and they

> > don't understand what we are dealing with.

> >

> >

> > Love and gentle hugs,

> > Debi/Central Cal.-55

> >

> >

> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~

> > Be a good e-mail buddy, and ALWAYS

> > protect your friends from email address harvesters which can lead

to more

> > Spam, unwanted mail, and even viruses.

> > Copy and paste forwards into a new email and place parenthesis

around the

> > addresses.

> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ************ **Create a Home Theater Like the Pros. Watch the

video on AOL

> > Home.

> > (

> > http://home. aol.com/diy/ home-improvement -eric-stromer?

video=15& ncid=aolhom00030 000000001

> > )

> >

> >

> >