Jill in TX/kids not understanding(some sensitive material)

April 26, 2008

Hi Jill - I wanted to comment on your daughter not understanding that you are

too sick to be the same kind of parent as some kids have. I've been diagnosed

for 10 years which means my girls were 4 and 9 at the time. They had a tough

time coping, too. They had heard me break down one night in '98 and my telling

my DH that they would all be better off without me. I still feel that way

sometimes.

When my girls complained, I would apologize. I'd tell them that I

understood their feelings, and I didn't like being a sick mom either. Then we

would talk about kids who have parents that are dead, kids who have parents that

beat and abused them. I'd ask if they'd rather have that type of mom or no mom

at all.

The one good thing about my weight loss surgery was that after losing 110

pounds I was able to chaperone a field trip for each of my girls. But that

didn't last of course, and there have been countless times since then that

they've been disappointed. There are many disappointments in life, and our kids

might learn this faster than some other kids. It can be a good thing, although

it might not see like it at the time. Try not to beat yourself up about it as

it will only make your pain, both physical and emotional worse. Be kind to

yourself. Let your kids know every day that you love them. My youngest, Allie,

is on the volleyball team for 8th grade. I haven't been to one of her games.

That's just the way it is. I hope this helps some. Take care.

Jeanne in WI

I have a 9 yr old daughter and a 14 yo son. My daughter has said she feels

like I don't love her because I can never do anything with her because I hurt.

My son understands - but I feel like I am missing out on their whole childhood.

My husband is disabled- he has had 10 back surgeries and has been home for 5

years being the housewife. I work full time as a secretary

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