RE: Jack Attack- Jill and Marti

[Guest guest]

This one caught me eye - my mom died when I was 28. I'm 49 now. She died

when she was 53 years old and that was the year my third child was born. So

Jill - I know what you mean about the loss. My son was only 6 months old

when she died. I really miss her a lot. It's hard to live without a mom

around especially since she and I were very close. Then I was left with my

dad and sister. I always felt like I wasn't part of the family with them.

Still do to this day - my sister doesn't have anything to do with me or my

kids anymore and my dad has written me off since he now has moved in with a

woman who is my age. He's 78 - she's 49. She has made sure that he has no

contact with either of his daughters or grandkids - which is sad but there

isn't anything I can do about it. It hurts a lot. My whole childhood was

like that with him - never any love. That's probably why I'm so messed up

in the head now with my bipolar, depression and anxiety. Looking forward to

getting back to therapy after my insurance for that kicks in - in October.

But on the bright side I do have 3 wonderful children and a beautiful 18

month granddaughter - and Marti - she calls me Nana too. I love that. They

were just here this morning to cheer me up because I've been having a bit of

a " down " spell due to my dad and his live-in visiting next door at my Uncle

s. He obviously won't come over here and won't allow us to come over

there. So having the baby and my daughter here gave me some affirmation

that I do have love in my family. And that's what I need to concentrate on.

I just think it's sad that he is missing out on the grandkids and his great

granddaughter. I will never treat my children that way no matter what. I

love them unconditionally and that's the way it should be. I love the Jack

Attack term too!

Sorry for ranting but I've been depressed (which of course, sets off my

fibro) and having my dad show up opened up the floodgates of pain and

emotion which I've had a reprieve from over the winter since they don't

visit the area in that season.

Need to go outside and try to putz around the yard and get my mind off

things.

Thanks for listening.

Teri (central Wisconsin)

Re: Jack Attack

Jill, You surely do carry a lot on your shoulders. What a tragedy to lose

your mother so young and in such a way. I am more sorry than I can express

in words. I wish I could hug you as tightly as you can stand and just hold

you and your twins. I wish I could be their Nana too. I have enough love to

go around and around.

Tell me about your twins. How old are they now? Are they girls, boys or one

of each? I know they must be hard for you to take care of even though you

love them so much. I don't know what I would do if I had to take care of

kids all the time.

Do your twins have illnesses? You said one time that your med bill includes

the meds for your kids.

Jack and I do have a special bond. When he sees me he still comes running

yelling " Nana, Nana, Nana " and jumps into my arms. I can't bear to get him

to stop so I just hold him for a minute. Everything goes back into place

soon.

I have been taking care of him since he was born. When my daughter went back

to work I took him to her so she could nurse him, so he never had a bottle.

They couldn't afford daycare and of course didn't want to do that anyway

while he was a baby, if they could get away with it. And I loved it. I was

feeling better then and hadn't come down with Sarcoidosis, which has really

changed my life.

When Brady was born she was in a funk with me and even though she wanted me

to take care of him decided that I was mean and so I wasn't as available or

at her beck and call so much. (She has issues.) She got over that, but it

was a year before I started spending quality time with Brady. I don't love

him any less of course, but he isn't as attached to me as Jack is.

Jack, of course, loves to come over here partly because he gets all of the

attention and doesn't have to share it with Brady and Aidan.

I wish you could deal with my daughter too! Although you'd have to be having

a really good day. She's a real toughie sometimes.

If you lived closer you could be my daughter too. I took in another one when

she was 13 and have room in my heart for you too.

Thank you so much for the sweet letter, I sort of like Jack Attack too. It's

kind of what its like when he's here.

Take care of yourself sweetie,

Marti

jill larion l.net>

wrote:

Marti, I'm so glad you had so much fun with Jack!! I have to admit that i'm

really jealous of your daughter. My mom died when my twins were 2. She was

soooo excited to finally be a grandma! She loved the twins so much, and it

was fun to see them together. It really hurts that she is not here for them.

It really, really hurts. She was only 59!! She should of had years and years

left with us! She unexpectedly dropped dead in front of my twins and me.

Your daughter is so lucky to have you! You sound like a great grandma! I bet

Jack is absoulutely crazy about you!!!!!!!! Your daughter is crazy to let

you move away. Too bad you can't live with us and adopt my twins! I feel

like calling your daughter and setting her staight!!

Jill

BTW....Jack attack is too cute!