Re: Jack Attack/MARTI

[Guest guest]

Marti,

My twins will be 6 at the end of August. Their name's are Kaitlyn and Karson.

They are the best thing that has ever happened to me and the most amazing little

people I have ever known. I love them so much. I'm just so confused why I was

so blessed with them only to turn around and become so ill. It isn't fair to

them. And my mom helped me so much. She was a lot like you. She would come

over 3 nights a week and care for them so I could sleep. Kaitlyn had trouble

suckling and it took 1 to 2 hours for her to finish a bottle. You literally

were always feeding one of them. I was so exhausted I don't remember the baby

phase......which makes me sad.

My mom lived down the street with my grandma who had RA and Lupus. My mother

and I cared for her and my mother was also a nurse. I had had so many surgeries

and illnesses and fatigue and just down right bizarre stuff, but didn't connect

it was fibro. My mom was always right there nursing me thru anything and

everything that came my way. A couple months before she died, I had double knee

surgery and a uterine oblation and removal of endometriosis. It was tough since

my babies were 22 months. She helped me thru it and then she died of a PE. We

took my grandmother in to live with us. It was so hard to care for her. She

expected a LOT from me and kept me running nonstop. I think she pretended to be

more helpless than she really was. And having an invalid 88 yr old and now 2 yr

old twins in the same house does not work well. She would get up at night to go

to the bathroom and her walker would screech down the hall, waking the twins 2

to 3 times a night. She would not use her brand new walker I bought her. She

had Dr appts at least 2x a week. I would have to load the twins in the car

seats and then lift her into my truck and she was overweight. Taking her into

the Dr.'s in her wheel chair plus the twins was a nightmare. During all this my

fibro went from fairly manageable to disabling. I continued pampering her,

making her her favorite meals, giving her her showers. Doing her laundry,

cleaning up diarrhea off the floor because she was too embarrassed to wear a

diaper and referee between her and the twins. She loved them very much and they

developed a special bond, but when she would get mad she would lose control.

Once she hit Karson over the head with a cough syrup bottle. She actually used

to hit me quite a bit when I was younger and I put my foot down on her hitting

my children. I did the best I could and was glad to have had the time with her.

She passed away a year later. After she died, I collapsed. I was physically

and emotionally fried. Physically, I felt like I was dieing. That's when I was

finally diagnosed with fibro.

I wish I could be your daughter too! I have no other family.....I'm an orphan

now. And my twins always ask why the don't have a grandma. Their friend's

grandparents come to all the school stuff and it bothers them that their's

aren't there. I feel so bad for my twins not to have an extended family. My

DH's parents are different to say the least. And his father can't even remember

the twin's names. They live in Seattle. His 2 sisters are there too.

The twins both have allergies and asthma and Karson has ADHD. I was a school

teacher and have a second degree in special ed. and his ADHD is still really,

really difficult to deal with. He is up by 4:30 in the morning and is bouncing

off the walls until 8:00. It's so hard to parent a child with issues when I

feel so awful all the time. And Kaitlyn and Karson have fought so much for the

past year. It's nonstop fighting. I feel like pulling my hair out. My

husband works 60 hours a week and I have no support system. I am really worried

about Karson. I Have been trying different things to treat his ADHD, but

nothing is helping. He's just getting more difficult by the day. Plus, he

teaches Kate how to really act out too. Sometimes she copies him. And my

husband gives both of them anything they want just to appease them which makes

it impossible for me and unfair to the twins. He can not follow thru with

discipline for anything. We even went to counseling for it. I am so

overwhelmed that summer vacation is coming up. I'm just dreading it. My only

break is when they go to school. And they have been having such a hard time

with asthma that they have missed a lot of school, so I cherish my time when

they are both at school. I feel guilty saying that, but I'm wiped out. That'

when I try to get all my stuff done. I have not had a babysitter in over a

year. I don't have the energy to even go out with my husband or friends. My

life consists of running the errands, cooking, cleaning and caring for the

twins. If I add anything on there it would take away something from the family

so that's all I do.

That is really something that you took Jack to his mom at work for him to

nurse! That's a lot of work. That takes love and dedication! I'm sorry you

have issues with your daughter. That must be very painful. I really, really

hope something works out so you can stay close to you grandchildren. They need

their grandma!!

I'm sorry I went on and on. One of the things I miss most about my mom is

talking to her. We talked 2 to 5 times a day. Anytime I had any problem or

wanted to share something, I always called her first. My husband and I don't

communicate well anymore. He's not really interested in fibro and we don't

really have anything in common anymore except the twins. It's also really hard

to talk to eachother when Karson is ricocheting between the two of us and he

yells everything instead of talking. My good friends don't get what I'm going

thru and it's tough to relate with them anymore. I also just ended a friendship

with a woman I have been friends with for 22 yrs. She does not believe in ADHD

and always made me feel like I simply couldn't control Karson. She also

couldn't understand why I couldn't just pop a pill and be fine with my fibro.

Then she started repeatedly telling me about another friend of hers that has MS

and turned her daughter into a hypochondriac and ruined her life. Never once

aknowleged how difficult it must have been to raise a child with MS, just talked

about what she did wrong. Then implied I was doing the same thing to Kaitlyn.

I am looking foward to moving back to Phoenix to be closer to my friends again

because even though they don't get fibro, they do try to support me. Wow, I

really blabbed on and on.......sorry. It's been nice chatting with you

though.....

Tell me more about your Sarcoidosis. Not really familiar with it.........

Also, where does your " adopted " daughter live? Is she married with kids? And

what state do you live in now?

Jill

Re: Jack Attack

Hi ,

Thank you so much! I did have a wonderful time and am paying for it now. But

will do it again as soon as school is out. I really do think the schools should

have built in Nana days

(I actually figured out for once how to cut and paste just what I wanted and

not everything)

You're a dear,

Marti

Andersen Lander2004@...> wrote:

Marti,

Have a wonderful time with Jack!!!! Hope you feel better...

Love,

/Mi

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