Re: To Darlene: twins//Jill

[Guest guest]

Hey Jill,

Wow, 5 and a half! That's about when my two went into care, after

their bio mom had another baby born addicted to meth (she was high on

it too). They were in one foster home but when TPR was imminent, that

foster home opted not to adopt them. They also did squat when it came

to taking care of them healthwise *or* getting the testing done. We

did all of it, even getting my daughter's tonsils and adenoids out

and tubes inserted. She was in danger of losing her hearing! That's

how congested she was and I'm sorry, any mom worth her salt would

have figured out that a yellow green isn't good when it comes to

nasal discharge!

Anyhow, they moved in with us officially on their 7th birthdays; we

had a small b'day party that Saturday so they could " meet " the rest

of the family (grandparents, aunt and uncle and the assorted

cousins). It took awhile for them to meet my oldest son as he is in

the Navy and stationed in Virginia, but they now know him...lol. The

adoption was final last April 5th, which is coming up this Saturday!

So to answer your question, they've been " ours " for nearly a year,

but have been with us for almost two.

Yes, dealing with the issues can be fun sometimes. Especially since I

deal with a hodge-podge of my own chronic issues. My datebook has

nothing but doctor appts in it - either for me or them! I have said

that I don't know how I would be able to return to work, even if I

could, because of these two. My son has transitional issues and used

to meltdown; with me dropping them off and picking them up, he has

stopped that. We lead a somewhat structured life; if there are any

changes, we make sure that we tell them several days in a row (as

necessary) so that there are no surprises. No surprises equals no

meltdowns.

My grandpa's service was wonderful. It was held graveside. The casket

(not to be morbid here I promise) was the most beautiful casket I've

ever seen. It wasn't wooden, it was a steel blue color and it had

inserts all around the base that had a blue sky with clouds in it and

a dove flying away - it made me think of the hymn " I'll Fly Away " .

My dad (who is one of two surviving siblings; my grandma passed back

in '94) got up and spoke which wasn't easy. I was very proud of him -

he quoted a scripture from memory! Yes he cried, but he has memories

of his dad that we don't have, of course. Then our pastor got up and

spoke about the hope we should have as his family. Then we sang

Amazing Grace acapello. Once they interred him (that cemetery has

wall masoleums and I think our family has almost a full wall), then

we were able to put flowers, etc. in the vases.

I don't know how you deal with ADHD. My daughter was acting that way

and we had her allergy tested (skin test). Turned out she is severely

allergic to pretty much everything. The doctor said that allergies

that severe can produce a systemic reaction that causes people to

think that the child is ADHD. Has your son ever been tested for

allergies? It's a thought worth looking into!

Darlene

>

> Hey Darlene,

>

> I have adopted twins too! Mine are 5 1/2 and boy/girl. They are

the BEST thing that has ever happened to me!!! They are the ONLY

reason I keep fighting this fibro.

>

> I'm sorry to hear of what your twins have gone thru! How old were

they when you adopted them? It's rough dealing with our children's

issues when we are sick ourselves. My son has ADHD combined type. I

was a teacher, plus have a degree in special ed and I still can't

believe how hard it is to raise a son with ADHD. It has such a huge

effect on everyone one in the family. It can be so stressful at

times I feel like ripping my hair out. And a lot of people don't

understand ADHD and wonder why I can't control him. I sadly just

ended a friendship with a woman that I have been friends with for 22

years because she was so judgmental about my son and my parenting.

She doesn't believe in ADHD. She also couldn't figure out why a dr.

couldn't magically cure my fibro and was always in my face about it.

Then she decided I was turning my daughter into a hypochondriac since

I'm sick and she missed a lot of school this year due to pink eye

and strep throat.

>

> Anyway, tell me more about your twins.......

>

> By the way, are you going to have to elevate your legs for hours a

day for the rest of your life for your bloodclot? Or does it work

itself out? My mom died of a PE 4 years ago in front of my twins and

me. It is what sent my fibro into overdrive. Your lucky to have had

symptoms so you can take care of it. My mom had no symptoms until it

was too late. How are your kidneys doing now?

>

> Let us know how your grandfather's service went.

>

> Jill

> Welcome to all the new folks

>

>

> Hello and welcome to all the new folks who keep popping into our

> lovely FaMily!!! You'll find a wealth of information, caring and

> compassion here, that's for sure! And you'll pick up tips to try

and

> all that jazz.

>

> As for me, I'm 45, was dx'd this past January, started Lyrica and

it

> seems to be working okay, although I've been having break-thru

pain.

> I have a set of 8 yr old twins that my husband and I adopted. I

also

> have 2 grown sons from a previous marriage, 6 grandchildren (4

are

> steps, although I treat them all the same way), 3 dogs and 1 cat.

> Although 1 of my dogs has to go per my DH because he bit me (not

on

> purpose). But that's another story.

>

> I tried and love a 3 " memory foam topper that I bought from

> overstock.com; I don't wake up with my elbows and joints feeling

like

> they've been beaten. I'm in the midst of a flare right now

because I

> spent 6 days in the hospital for a blood clot and renal

> insufficiency. I used to work but was put on long-term

disability. I

> am now fighting the " good fight " with SSD and am up to the

hearing

> phase (got the letter, now waiting.....).

>

> So that's me in a nutshell. I belong to several groups that deal

with

> my kids' issues (they have fetal alchohol syndrome and mild

mental

> retardation - son; she has partial FAS and some emotional issues

due

> to the neglect and abuse they suffered). So I sometimes don't

post

> for days. Partly because I cannot keep up with everything. Partly

> because I have to keep my legs elevated 3-4 hrs every single day!

>

> Again, welcome. Ask your questions, someone has BTDT and may have

the

> solution for you!

>

> Darlene

>

>

>

>

>

>