Re: It's Been Awhile....-- To Amy

[Guest guest]

I know exactly what you mean. I am sure that the fact that I PUSH my body to

work for a living does not convince anyone I am sick. And just because we have

a few good hours now and then or we do something " normal " does not mean our

bodies don't pay dearly for it. It is so damn aggravating. People see us do

things and think " well, she can't be sick " . What they do not see is the very

limited energy bank we have that is robbed within a short time while we are

doing those " normal things " . They don't see the pain we suffer during the time

we are doing those things, nor the payback pain afterward. This is the most

elusive, hidden, evil disease there is in a sense. Because they cannot see it,

it does not exist.

If we lay down and stop doing anything, then we are " lazy hypochondriacs " .

If we keep going and push ourselves then we " must not be ill " . If you

complain, people think you are a wimp or a liar. If you don't mention the

misery, then it automatically does not exist. There is nothing we can say or do

to convince people of the horrible hell we live in. It is like the joke is on

us. Fibro says " hey, I am here. I am making you hurt and making you

exhausted--- but ha ha.... the joke is on you because I hide " .

love and hugs,

Debra V.

Amy Brand amy@...> wrote:

Ugh! So I woke up early from taking my Ambien! This has been happening

a lot

lately....grrr!

Thanks for the encouraging words. I have not heard many from friends lately.

Everyone is

so negavtive & they just don't understand. The downplay my Fibromyalgia because

they

see me working with animals & they see me ride horses & do barnwork, so I must

be ok,

right? No...not at all!

Today was one of the hardest struggles for me! The couch was calling my name,

but so

was my horses & barnwork. I kept putting it off. Finally I talked to my hubby

(who was still

at work) & I was so sore & so upset. So....I finally said outloud " I'm gonna

conquer this

damn Fibromyalgia! " and hung up the phone. So I walked out to the barn & did my

barnwork.....slowly....but I did it. (I only have 3 stalls)

I was so proud that I actually got everything done! I don't know how I did it!

Then I came inside....took a hot epson salt bath like I do every night....laid

on the couch &

never moved since! My kitty is laying here with me!

>

> Hi Amy,

>

> I remember you. You have been missed. It was good of you to jump right in; it

is

almost impossible to sort through the messages when you have been gone for a

while. I

have had the same problem. I had to delete the old messages and just pick a

starting

place to read the posts and then just jumped in like you are doing.

>

> I'm sorry you have been in such a long flare. It must really be taking a toll

on you. I

have no idea how you can run a farm, small or not. I feel like such a wimp. I

can't even

work anymore from my website, much less handle horses and a farm.

>

> Maybe adding the Cymbalta will help some. I hope so anyway.

>

> Try to take care of yourself and be proud of yourself for doing all that you

do.

>

> Marti

>

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