Re: echo and other weird stuff

[Guest guest]

Jeanie:

Oh, happy day (smile), I hear you on that one! If I am not " smiling " ,

will say I'm mad; or am I frustrated? Am I mad at her? Am I mad at

Dad? Am I mad at Kenny? Why doesn't mom smile? (I get to the point of

being like " just let it go; finish; Mom is not mad. " ) I have never been a

really big smile person. I can't get that across to her that even if I'm

not smiling big, it doesn't mean I'm unhappy. Maybe it means mommy is

thinking hard. That is the only way I've gotten her off the topic of me not

smiling. I have even shown her family pictures, and unless they are posed,

I'm not smiling a whole lot. She still doesn't get it.

And you are right: It can lead to some very major confrontation. She was

telling me this while I was trying to hold a serious conversation with

another parent. I told she'd have to wait. (THAT went over like

bricks!) Then she wiggled between us and started pulling on my face to make

me smile. Not a very good way to have a serious conversation about the

other parent's child's behavior on the bus. (Which was actually unsafe, as

the child was walking around while the bus was moving. So serious

conversation.)

We also thought it was funny for a short (very short!) time; even while

trying to correct her about the issue early on. But it is still there, and

she still fixates. Heaven forbid she sees Rick and I get frustrated with

something the other has done: " No, Mom (or Dad); must kiss then smile.

Happy family. " How do you tell them (without crushing their spirit or

hopes) that there are times that a smile is not appropriate; and that, yes,

people do sometimes get mad or frustrated or upset, or even simply tired and

may not feel like smiling? Oh, my! I guess that means we all better e

smiling at the conference!!

Friends in CHARGE,

Marilyn Ogan

Also, my facial expressions are driving her crazy. I understand that she

gets alot of feedback that way, but this is going over and above that. She

is fixated on whether I'm smiling, looking frustrated or confused, etc. Of

course she only wants me to smile, even when it's not appropriate. I know I

can't let her control my expressions but this is leading to some serious

confrontation. It was actually kind of funny at first, but now not so much.

Anyway, life's always interesting!

Jeanie

mom to MacKenzie 9 CHARGE, Tyler 15 & Zachary 13

Nova Scotia, Canada

[Guest guest]

Jeanie:

Oh, happy day (smile), I hear you on that one! If I am not " smiling " ,

will say I'm mad; or am I frustrated? Am I mad at her? Am I mad at

Dad? Am I mad at Kenny? Why doesn't mom smile? (I get to the point of

being like " just let it go; finish; Mom is not mad. " ) I have never been a

really big smile person. I can't get that across to her that even if I'm

not smiling big, it doesn't mean I'm unhappy. Maybe it means mommy is

thinking hard. That is the only way I've gotten her off the topic of me not

smiling. I have even shown her family pictures, and unless they are posed,

I'm not smiling a whole lot. She still doesn't get it.

And you are right: It can lead to some very major confrontation. She was

telling me this while I was trying to hold a serious conversation with

another parent. I told she'd have to wait. (THAT went over like

bricks!) Then she wiggled between us and started pulling on my face to make

me smile. Not a very good way to have a serious conversation about the

other parent's child's behavior on the bus. (Which was actually unsafe, as

the child was walking around while the bus was moving. So serious

conversation.)

We also thought it was funny for a short (very short!) time; even while

trying to correct her about the issue early on. But it is still there, and

she still fixates. Heaven forbid she sees Rick and I get frustrated with

something the other has done: " No, Mom (or Dad); must kiss then smile.

Happy family. " How do you tell them (without crushing their spirit or

hopes) that there are times that a smile is not appropriate; and that, yes,

people do sometimes get mad or frustrated or upset, or even simply tired and

may not feel like smiling? Oh, my! I guess that means we all better e

smiling at the conference!!

Friends in CHARGE,

Marilyn Ogan

Also, my facial expressions are driving her crazy. I understand that she

gets alot of feedback that way, but this is going over and above that. She

is fixated on whether I'm smiling, looking frustrated or confused, etc. Of

course she only wants me to smile, even when it's not appropriate. I know I

can't let her control my expressions but this is leading to some serious

confrontation. It was actually kind of funny at first, but now not so much.

Anyway, life's always interesting!

Jeanie

mom to MacKenzie 9 CHARGE, Tyler 15 & Zachary 13

Nova Scotia, Canada

[Guest guest]

Marilyn and Jeannie-

I can relate to the part about not liking confrontation or discord. Aubrie

gets hugely upset when anything isn’t as it should be – or as she thinks it

should be. We can’t have an argument or even a mild disagreement in front

of her. I could go on and on but I know you guys get it. Tonight, I had to

go to the car dealer and demand remedy to a vehicle problem. Thank goodness

it worked out that I could go without her. If she’d have been there, she

would have lost it. She obsesses about the “naughty” kids in her class –

wants to make them be nice by teaching them how, etc. It’s a huge deal.

I’ve never in my life met a kid who lived to 9 ½ yrs old without ever being

in trouble. She has never ever broken a rule, pushed the boundaries, gotten

a time out… never. The only time she’s gotten in trouble is when she’s worn

out my patience.

Michele W

Aubrie’s mom

[Guest guest]

And I will add Amita does exactly the same thing. Are you mad? Are

you mad? Arrgh!!!Drives me batty at times, the endless questions.

Amita also worries about the rule breakers in her class.))

On another note, after reading about the heart issues I have to

schedule a cardio apt for her, I also thought that her issues were

stable and non progressive. I guess I have to overcome my inertia on

that.

Deepta

>

> Jeanie:

>

> Oh, happy day (smile), I hear you on that one! If I am

not " smiling " ,

> will say I'm mad; or am I frustrated? Am I mad at her?

Am I mad at

> Dad? Am I mad at Kenny? Why doesn't mom smile? (I get to the

point of

> being like " just let it go; finish; Mom is not mad. " ) I have

never been a

> really big smile person. I can't get that across to her that even

if I'm

> not smiling big, it doesn't mean I'm unhappy. Maybe it means

mommy is

> thinking hard. That is the only way I've gotten her off the topic

of me not

> smiling. I have even shown her family pictures, and unless they

are posed,

> I'm not smiling a whole lot. She still doesn't get it.

>

> And you are right: It can lead to some very major confrontation.

She was

> telling me this while I was trying to hold a serious conversation

with

> another parent. I told she'd have to wait. (THAT went

over like

> bricks!) Then she wiggled between us and started pulling on my

face to make

> me smile. Not a very good way to have a serious conversation

about the

> other parent's child's behavior on the bus. (Which was actually

unsafe, as

> the child was walking around while the bus was moving. So serious

> conversation.)

>

>

>

> We also thought it was funny for a short (very short!) time; even

while

> trying to correct her about the issue early on. But it is still

there, and

> she still fixates. Heaven forbid she sees Rick and I get

frustrated with

> something the other has done: " No, Mom (or Dad); must kiss then

smile.

> Happy family. " How do you tell them (without crushing their

spirit or

> hopes) that there are times that a smile is not appropriate; and

that, yes,

> people do sometimes get mad or frustrated or upset, or even simply

tired and

> may not feel like smiling? Oh, my! I guess that means we all

better e

> smiling at the conference!!

>

>

>

> Friends in CHARGE,

>

> Marilyn Ogan

>

>

>

>

> Also, my facial expressions are driving her crazy. I understand

that she

> gets alot of feedback that way, but this is going over and above

that. She

> is fixated on whether I'm smiling, looking frustrated or confused,

etc. Of

> course she only wants me to smile, even when it's not appropriate.

I know I

> can't let her control my expressions but this is leading to some

serious

> confrontation. It was actually kind of funny at first, but now not

so much.

>

> Anyway, life's always interesting!

>

> Jeanie

> mom to MacKenzie 9 CHARGE, Tyler 15 & Zachary 13

> Nova Scotia, Canada

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Kennedy will just say Mommy are you happy? are you happy? Be Happy mama be

happy!

Too funny - it is a major concern for her if there's any hint that I'm not

happy.

Lis

>

> And I will add Amita does exactly the same thing. Are you mad? Are

> you mad? Arrgh!!!Drives me batty at times, the endless questions.

> Amita also worries about the rule breakers in her class.))

> On another note, after reading about the heart issues I have to

> schedule a cardio apt for her, I also thought that her issues were

> stable and non progressive. I guess I have to overcome my inertia on

> that.

> Deepta

>

>

> >

> > Jeanie:

> >

> > Oh, happy day (smile), I hear you on that one! If I am

> not " smiling " ,

> > will say I'm mad; or am I frustrated? Am I mad at her?

> Am I mad at

> > Dad? Am I mad at Kenny? Why doesn't mom smile? (I get to the

> point of

> > being like " just let it go; finish; Mom is not mad. " ) I have

> never been a

> > really big smile person. I can't get that across to her that even

> if I'm

> > not smiling big, it doesn't mean I'm unhappy. Maybe it means

> mommy is

> > thinking hard. That is the only way I've gotten her off the topic

> of me not

> > smiling. I have even shown her family pictures, and unless they

> are posed,

> > I'm not smiling a whole lot. She still doesn't get it.

> >

> > And you are right: It can lead to some very major confrontation.

> She was

> > telling me this while I was trying to hold a serious conversation

> with

> > another parent. I told she'd have to wait. (THAT went

> over like

> > bricks!) Then she wiggled between us and started pulling on my

> face to make

> > me smile. Not a very good way to have a serious conversation

> about the

> > other parent's child's behavior on the bus. (Which was actually

> unsafe, as

> > the child was walking around while the bus was moving. So serious

> > conversation.)

> >

> >

> >

> > We also thought it was funny for a short (very short!) time; even

> while

> > trying to correct her about the issue early on. But it is still

> there, and

> > she still fixates. Heaven forbid she sees Rick and I get

> frustrated with

> > something the other has done: " No, Mom (or Dad); must kiss then

> smile.

> > Happy family. " How do you tell them (without crushing their

> spirit or

> > hopes) that there are times that a smile is not appropriate; and

> that, yes,

> > people do sometimes get mad or frustrated or upset, or even simply

> tired and

> > may not feel like smiling? Oh, my! I guess that means we all

> better e

> > smiling at the conference!!

> >

> >

> >

> > Friends in CHARGE,

> >

> > Marilyn Ogan

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Also, my facial expressions are driving her crazy. I understand

> that she

> > gets alot of feedback that way, but this is going over and above

> that. She

> > is fixated on whether I'm smiling, looking frustrated or confused,

> etc. Of

> > course she only wants me to smile, even when it's not appropriate.

> I know I

> > can't let her control my expressions but this is leading to some

> serious

> > confrontation. It was actually kind of funny at first, but now not

> so much.

> >

> > Anyway, life's always interesting!

> >

> > Jeanie

> > mom to MacKenzie 9 CHARGE, Tyler 15 & Zachary 13

> > Nova Scotia, Canada

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

.....and perhaps us, too!! Because, as they say, ³If mama ain¹t happy, ain¹t

nobody happy²

pam

>

>

>

>

> Kennedy will just say Mommy are you happy? are you happy? Be Happy mama be

> happy!

> Too funny - it is a major concern for her if there's any hint that I'm not

> happy.

> Lis

>

> On 7/13/07, deepta_69 deepta_69@... >

> wrote:

>> >

>> > And I will add Amita does exactly the same thing. Are you mad? Are

>> > you mad? Arrgh!!!Drives me batty at times, the endless questions.

>> > Amita also worries about the rule breakers in her class.))

>> > On another note, after reading about the heart issues I have to

>> > schedule a cardio apt for her, I also thought that her issues were

>> > stable and non progressive. I guess I have to overcome my inertia on

>> > that.

>> > Deepta

>> >

>> >

>>> > >

>>> > > Jeanie:

>>> > >

>>> > > Oh, happy day (smile), I hear you on that one! If I am

>> > not " smiling " ,

>>> > > will say I'm mad; or am I frustrated? Am I mad at her?

>> > Am I mad at

>>> > > Dad? Am I mad at Kenny? Why doesn't mom smile? (I get to the

>> > point of

>>> > > being like " just let it go; finish; Mom is not mad. " ) I have

>> > never been a

>>> > > really big smile person. I can't get that across to her that even

>> > if I'm

>>> > > not smiling big, it doesn't mean I'm unhappy. Maybe it means

>> > mommy is

>>> > > thinking hard. That is the only way I've gotten her off the topic

>> > of me not

>>> > > smiling. I have even shown her family pictures, and unless they

>> > are posed,

>>> > > I'm not smiling a whole lot. She still doesn't get it.

>>> > >

>>> > > And you are right: It can lead to some very major confrontation.

>> > She was

>>> > > telling me this while I was trying to hold a serious conversation

>> > with

>>> > > another parent. I told she'd have to wait. (THAT went

>> > over like

>>> > > bricks!) Then she wiggled between us and started pulling on my

>> > face to make

>>> > > me smile. Not a very good way to have a serious conversation

>> > about the

>>> > > other parent's child's behavior on the bus. (Which was actually

>> > unsafe, as

>>> > > the child was walking around while the bus was moving. So serious

>>> > > conversation.)

>>> > >

>>> > >

>>> > >

>>> > > We also thought it was funny for a short (very short!) time; even

>> > while

>>> > > trying to correct her about the issue early on. But it is still

>> > there, and

>>> > > she still fixates. Heaven forbid she sees Rick and I get

>> > frustrated with

>>> > > something the other has done: " No, Mom (or Dad); must kiss then

>> > smile.

>>> > > Happy family. " How do you tell them (without crushing their

>> > spirit or

>>> > > hopes) that there are times that a smile is not appropriate; and

>> > that, yes,

>>> > > people do sometimes get mad or frustrated or upset, or even simply

>> > tired and

>>> > > may not feel like smiling? Oh, my! I guess that means we all

>> > better e

>>> > > smiling at the conference!!

>>> > >

>>> > >

>>> > >

>>> > > Friends in CHARGE,

>>> > >

>>> > > Marilyn Ogan

>>> > >

>>> > >

>>> > >

>>> > >

>>> > > Also, my facial expressions are driving her crazy. I understand

>> > that she

>>> > > gets alot of feedback that way, but this is going over and above

>> > that. She

>>> > > is fixated on whether I'm smiling, looking frustrated or confused,

>> > etc. Of

>>> > > course she only wants me to smile, even when it's not appropriate.

>> > I know I

>>> > > can't let her control my expressions but this is leading to some

>> > serious

>>> > > confrontation. It was actually kind of funny at first, but now not

>> > so much.

>>> > >

>>> > > Anyway, life's always interesting!

>>> > >

>>> > > Jeanie

>>> > > mom to MacKenzie 9 CHARGE, Tyler 15 & Zachary 13

>>> > > Nova Scotia, Canada

>>> > >

>>> > >

>>> > >

>>> > >

>>> > >

[Guest guest]

Michele,

Hey, we've had a long soccer weekend and I've delayed answering many emails.

About the bicuspid aortic valve, it's always been my understanding that

eventually this would have to be repaired, the cardiologist said that most

people get away with it until midlife, but our kids aren't most people.

Interestingly enough, my dad and my nephew both have the same defect. My dad

hasn't had his repaired yet, but he's quite the athlete and has the heart of a

20 year old. Hope this hasn't worried you too much, I really know little about

this and there may very well be different grades and levels.

Anyway, take care, see you soon. We're getting very excited and a little

anxious.

Jeanie

[Guest guest]

Marilyn,

I should have known that you guys would understand and that many of you would

have " been there " . I find it a struggle between not doing things to antagonize

her and not induldging her " weirdness " . When my family gets together we can be a

bit loud and animated, this sends her over the top because she thinks everyone

is angry. God forbid I get a headache or cry during a sad movie. I guess it's

time for a social story, with me as the main character. Anyway, here's to

smiling!!

Thanks,

Jeanie

[Guest guest]

Jeanie-

Thanks for the additional info. I'm not too concerned because Aubrie's

always had great cardio reports. But at least I know to be somewhat alert.

Have safe travels!

Michele

_____

From: CHARGE [mailto:CHARGE ] On Behalf Of

Jeanie

Sent: Monday, July 16, 2007 6:57 PM

To: CHARGE

Subject: Re: echo and other weird stuff

Michele,

Hey, we've had a long soccer weekend and I've delayed answering many emails.

About the bicuspid aortic valve, it's always been my understanding that

eventually this would have to be repaired, the cardiologist said that most

people get away with it until midlife, but our kids aren't most people.

Interestingly enough, my dad and my nephew both have the same defect. My dad

hasn't had his repaired yet, but he's quite the athlete and has the heart of

a 20 year old. Hope this hasn't worried you too much, I really know little

about this and there may very well be different grades and levels.

Anyway, take care, see you soon. We're getting very excited and a little

anxious.

Jeanie

[Guest guest]

I love the part about a social story with you as the main character. :-) Very

clever idea, Jeanie!

Re: echo and other weird stuff

Marilyn,

I should have known that you guys would understand and that many of you would

have " been there " . I find it a struggle between not doing things to antagonize

her and not induldging her " weirdness " . When my family gets together we can be a

bit loud and animated, this sends her over the top because she thinks everyone

is angry. God forbid I get a headache or cry during a sad movie. I guess it's

time for a social story, with me as the main character. Anyway, here's to

smiling!!

Thanks,

Jeanie